three babes

i don't have anything to say today,

except that these pictures capture the essence of my girlies

and sisterhood

in ways that this momma sees everyday

and cherishes.

my girl wants to party all the time

i wasn't going to share this image, but i wrote about it on facebook and thought some of you might get a kick out of seeing just how much i lack cake decorating skills... seriously! i made two 9 inch round cakes, layered them together with icing in between and then frosted the top with a clear glaze. it looked fine. but after looking at it for an evening, i decided it just wasn't enough for my first birthday girl. and so off to micheal's i went in search of some cake decorating equipment. i came home armed with piping bags, tips, special frosting dyes and tubes of sugary goo.

i opened it all up to discover that the kit i bought (made by that duff guy from ace of cakes) did not include directions. i do not watch that show and consider myself to be a pretty good cook and an ok crafter... how hard could this be? after 20 minutes of trying to choose the correct piping tip and trying to get said tip to stay on the bag i felt like i might be able to pull this off. well, the peanut, egg, gluten, dairy free icing i bought was a different texture/consistency than the duff frosting tubes... and as you can see, it was all over from there. not to mention, i have the shakiest hand and my icing lines were a mess. i threw in the towel and headed to the local bakery for a professionally made cupcake for my popcake! a cake decorator, i am not!

a few of my friends have some sort of misconception about little old me, so here's to keeping it real:

now that we have THAT out of the way, i'd like you to see how cute my birthday girl was.

she thought it was a hoot when we stood her in front of a pile of gifts and all watched her. she did some cooing, clapping, dancing and then was sort of like, "what? why is everyone looking at me?". after she started getting into her gifts she was as giddy as a schoolgirl. she loved her ball pit filled with balls and stayed in there for the duration. she opened the rest of her gifts while sitting immersed in her little pit... and she was delighted.

she tossed 'em and kicked her ankles in them. she licked them and made them rain over her own head.

she liked it so much that she cried when we took her out for cake time. after we calmed her down, we began the cake party. she loved it!

"for me? are you all singing to me? is this cake mine? ahh, i love my birthday!"

she started out timid...

but that didn't last very long. apparently strawberry butter cream is quite tasty... i wouldn't know as i was too busy snapping pictures and noshing on that green glob from above.

REALLY TASTY!

happy birthday, sweet girl! you are such a gift to us and we love you so much!

oh, and one final note: our sweet poppy woke up at 10:30 with a rather intense belly ache. it seems she may have had a wee bit too much cake. sorry, girl! but based on your reaction to taking in the cake, i'm guessing that you'd say the belly ache was worth it! out of our three girls, you are the one that liked your cake best!

chicago: the last stop "home"

the last leg of my chicago trip was three days in la grange, my old "home" town. it did not disappoint. i got to (finally) meet this little muffin who was born to my douala friend, kristie, in october. she is such a good babe. she just crawls around and smiles like this all day long.

and while watching brynn crawl around, i was able to get cozy on the couch and share some good chats with her momma. while we were sippin' joe, brynn's two older siblings and my e did some swimming in the hot tub. they were determined to get a picture of all three under water, flashing peace signs with their hands. it didn't quite turn out, but was pretty funny watching them try to make it happen.

i enjoyed lunch and some playground time with my dear friend steph and her eldest girlie, kate. it went by way too fast, but our time together will be cherished for some time.

and then, i got to eat some tasty pork belly with carmel corn and cherry reduction over polenta... my mouth stills smiles as i think of that lovely concoction on a plate! chicago, you've certainly got good eats!

and while noshing on that, i enjoyed the best three hours with these lovely ladies. like all my chicago peeps, they continue to be food for this momma's soul. it's hard to imagine that i don't get to enjoy their lovely companionship on a monthly basis like i once did, but being with them once again was a good reminder of how blessed i am. i kept thinking, "how is it possible for a girl to have this many wonderful people in their life?". i'm a lucky lady, even if i don't get to see them often, knowing that they are in my life is enough.

and then, on our way out of town i had lunch with this lovely lady and her lovely momma. megan and macy, you hold a special spot in our hearts!

then our taxi arrived, and our fabulous trip came to a halt. it was hard to get into that cab, but i must say, God used that time to tell me a few things...

moving to california felt like a mount mariah moment for me, taking all the faith that i could muster to believe that it was for good. but ten months later, i have to say, God has been faithful. just like those wonderful peeps in chicago, i have some new and equally amazing friends here. coming home to those ladies in my life was not disappointing. in fact, it was a good reminder that this is where i am supposed to be and that this is the "home" that has been carved out for my family now. i typically say that it takes a good two years to feel like you are rooted in your new surroundings, but that has not been the case for me this time around. after just ten short months, i know that i am home. thank you, sweet Jesus!

chicago: the new naperville

part two of my chicago trip was to attend mommapalooza in munster, in (aka: the new naperville... disclaimer: that's only funny if you were there or are from munster or naperville). anywho, what is this mommapalooza that i speak of you ask? well, i'll tell you. as per my usual, it begins with a story.


back in september of 2004 i gave birth to e. she was one of around 5 babies in our church nursery at the time. we attended a church in the city that was filled with young, unmarrieds or newly marrieds. i think they always had someone to staff the nursery, but until january '04, there weren't any babies to be put in the nursery on a regular basis (the lovely lady in charge of the kid's kingdom at the church now would laugh out loud if she were to read this- currently, it is a thriving place filled beyond capacity on a regular basis).


in october, my dear friend veronica felt led to start up a mom's group for the five of us with babes. she was kind enough to wait until i was ready to join. each week, five of us mommas would meet, do some form of a book study and then venture to einstein's bagel shop for lunch. somewhere in that first year, a new mom or two joined us and then again in august we had another bunch join. i think at the start of year 2 we had about 15 moms. each week we did the same thing- study, chat, pray, share all things mommy, and eat lunch. it was divine. those tuesday mornings were a sacred time for me. i didn't schedule doctors appointments, i didn't work at my school, and i cried on the few occasions that e was showing signs of a cold and i had to miss.

somewhere in year three, a few of us momma's made the migration to other cities. and the one thing that we universally missed about our days in the city was mom's group and the intimacy that the core group brought. i know that group continues to this day and is a blessing to many-a-momma, but there was something beyond special in those first few ripe years. the core group of us shared something that i personally think was beyond unique. we weren't really friends going into the group. but came out richly blessed and bonded to one another afterwards.


and so last summer, jennifer (forgive me if i have this wrong and am giving credit to the wrong momma) came up with the idea of a once-a-year get-together with the core group. it would include moms and their first born babes (we've all gone on to have more children and it would be impossible to house that many). i was due with poppy last year (or overdue if you really want to know the facts... are you getting sick of me telling you that?) so could not attend. but as i told you in an earlier post, this year, mommapalooza was a sacred weekend for me. it had been on the calendar for months and i planned on being there.


so without further ado, i invite you in on mommapalooza 2010. it was amazing. to be greeted by each of my dear friends and exchange hugs. they melted me. those tears that started pouring on the city street as i left jen, just kept pouring. i was overcome with joy to spend the weekend with these women. i was inspired by them, encouraged by them, refreshed by their laughter... i could go on and on. it was truly a wonderful weekend.



we spent a lot of time sitting around the island in the kitchen chatting, catching up, pontificating about life and mommyhood, politics and food. we told funny stories and reminisced. and most of us pretended to help out in the kitchen, but you can see from this picture who REALLY did all of the work (along with our hostess with the mostest who worked her tail off ensuring that we had a great weekend).

and we might have made our pregnant friend lindsay make us some cocktails. if that isn't a good sport, then i don't know what is.

and did i mention that we did a lot of laughing? so much so that my cheeks hurt by the end of the first day!

this is sweet vicky and her wonderful hubby joe. joe made grocery runs for us, assisted with marshmallows roasts, and did a whole lot of other stuff to make us mommas have a great time.

gigi, the bravest of them all, caught a frog and was a good sport about passing it around for the other kiddos to hold.

and after frog catching, the kiddos chilled on the couch and just enjoyed being together.

there might have been a few moms enjoying the bouncy house as much (if not more) than the kids. but i'm not one for naming names.

the kids thought this was a hoot... well at least one kid did for sure!

it was beautiful to see how these kids that i have known since their early days have grown.

and grown...

and grown. there was swimming,

and picture posing,

and maybe even a water balloon fight.

the weekend ended with swag bags for the kids from vicky who might have turned into martha stewart when nobody was looking. she swears that she isn't domestic, but what i saw tells a different story.

and then it was time to say goodbye. it was sad, but i left feeling refreshed and joyous that i have these amazing women in my life. being with them for the weekend was indescribable and i am beyond blessed to have them in my life.

i love you girls! here's looking forward to mommapalooza 2011!

a birth story

a year ago this evening (around 10:30pm), i went to the hospital with some pretty intense contractions about 4 minutes apart, two weeks late. i arrived at the hospital to find that triage was full, so was sent to the waiting room until they could clean a room for me. scott and i were met there by my dear friend and douala, kristie. i spent about 30 minutes there doing some "baby spinning" exercises to try and get my sweet babe to engage in the pelvis in the correct position as they speculated that while she was head down she wasn't completely face down. it was quite a site! i had my knees up on a chair with my torso angled down to the ground resting on my forearms.

we were finally welcomed to triage and put on the monitors. the on-call midwife wasn't thrilled with my contractions or my dilation, but since my water had started to leak and there were some signs of meconium sent me to a birthing room and started me on an antibiotic (i have been group b strep with all three babies). i am pretty sure she wanted to send me back home, but am guessing that she thought better about breaking that news to a momma that was two weeks overdue. the inference here is that i was a tad (HA) on the grumpy side.

while we were traveling down to our birthing room, my dear friend jen arrived on the scene. she has never been in a birthing room (aside from her own) and mentioned to me at one point that she would love to see a birth. me, wanting to share natural birth with those around me, invited her to join the birth. (i am pretty sure that after watching this particular natural birth, she will opt for an epidural in her labor next month. apparently my plan backfired!)

we got situated in the room and were basically told that we had a long way to go. they wanted to get two doses of antibiotics into my system before they would consider fully breaking my water. i was disappointed as this was not the plan that i had discussed with my two mid-wife's of choice. i tried to explain this to her, but she would not budge. and so we settled in for a long wait. after just a few minutes, i began to get incredibly uncomfortable. i decided to let scott, kristie and jen rest while i did some bouncing on the birthing ball. that plan didn't last long. suddenly the contractions became intense and i felt like i was in pretty active labor.

after some time on the ball, some time on the bed, i couldn't take it and needed some relief. i opted to climb into the birthing tub. all i can really recall was intense pain and a hot that came from within. i could not get cool. between scott, kristie and jen they were taking turns running down the hall for ice, and placing iced washcloths on my face. they were talking me through the breathing and keeping me from shutting down. they were amazing.

after what felt like forever, i started to feel like i was ready to push. the mid-wife checked me and said that i was 8cm. that is not what i wanted to hear. i had recently finished the first dose of antibiotic, but was waiting to start the second dose. at that point i hit a wall and begged her to break my water. she was not going to budge. finally after some strong words from this laboring momma, she said she would but that i would need to get out of the tub and wait until the second dose of antibiotic began (i think they were putting it into the line at that time). i went to stand up and was thrilled to discover that my water broke on its own. after another check it was determined that i was complete and ready to push.

pushing was a disaster. because of sweet poppy's slightly turned position and because of my fatigue i just wasn't really productive. my poor hubby spent a lot of time and energy supporting my body while i desperately tried to get that baby out. kristie and jen were holding my hands, continuing the cold towels and giving me much needed encouragement. after what felt like forever, my sweet babe emerged (around 4:15am).

the moment they announced that it was a girl is one i will never forget. i was shocked. everyone that had seen my belly over the months preceding my delivery was convinced that it was a boy. i didn't have a gut feeling, but since the views of others were unanimously pointed towards boy, i began to feel like they were right. and then my husband and two dear friends announced girl! it was one of those moments where time sort of stood still and i was in disbelief. while i have always wanted a son for my husband, i was thrilled. there was something that felt so full circle for this momma and this new babe who shared birth order and family gender order (i am the youngest of three girls). it was such a special moment and i will forever savor it.

and that is how my little california poppy arrived on the scene. she was beautiful and i feel blessed to have been able to share that birth (although less than perfect) with my dear friends kristie and jen. it was like a little gift that while they would not be nearby to see her grow, they got to "know" her in such a special way.

and here she is, one year later... my sweet little penelope. happy birthday, dear one. your daddy, your momma and your sisters love you so much!

the one in the middle is the green kangaroo

this post doesn't have anything to do with green kangaroos. but e is reading that book to me. now that we have that straight... i'd like to report that these days i am struggling to be a good momma. my kids are pressing me to the limit on a regular basis and i feel like i am going a bit loony. so sometimes, you've just got to get creative and find ways to introduce laughter into the mix. you know, so you don't loose it.

my eldest is in the process of learning boundaries in regards to her words. she is experimenting with sassy in ways i didn't think a five year old could. we are working on it. it is a slow process, but day by day she is starting to see what she can say and what she can't say and who she can say what to. i am amazed by her command of the english language, but we're working on establishing an understanding of how to channel that gift of vocabulary and use it for good.

the one in the middle, well, come to think of it... she is a bit like a kangaroo. but that is besides the point. do you remember those days of "i do"? well, i had no idea what that would look like in a precocious girl fast approaching 3. but i'm in the process of experiencing this first hand. it has resulted in things like... an exterior door lock on her bedroom door because she just doesn't want to stay in her new little bed on the floor, a few parking lot situations where she was almost backed over by a car leaving their spot because she does not need to hold momma's hand (or so she thought), mexican stand offs at the dinner table because she wants dessert but doesn't want to eat a morsel on her plate. i could go on and on, and in fact it does. and so moment by moment i find myself teaching this wee one that Independence and fearlessness has its place, but that momma (and daddy) is/are ultimately the boss and that surrender is also often a value. (i'm sure i have more to say about this at another time.)

and this little chica? well she is in the "explore the world" stage. she likes to eat lots of stuff, especially dirt, crumbs and choking hazards. she is also really digging the unpacking of things recently put back together... things like folded laundry, drawers, book shelves, etc. with her were working on the art of distraction and the meaning of "no".

i'm not complaining. i think there will be many times over the journey of parenting where challenging with one child intersects with a different challenging of another (and in our case, another). it's a balancing act for sure, but it reminds me that sometimes you've got to reach a little bit (or a lot) and find ways to invite smiles into the experience. sometimes, you've got to find ways to fly.

chicago: the city

the first stop on my trip to chicago was to visit sweet payton. i've told you this a couple of times over the years, but she and e are bff's. they met at 4 months of age and have loved each other from first glance. they used to empty out my kitchen drawers together and p used to suck on the sleeve of e's shirts. they have a history. it's beautiful.

and they picked right up where they left off without missing a beat.


the mom of this beautiful babe (my dear friend jen) happens to be 9 months pregnant with a baby i have long been anticipating. somehow, she didn't make it into any of my snaps, but her belly is the most stunning belly i've seen in a long time. while our girlies played, i enjoyed eating her delish lunches (seriously, this girl has a record for making the best sammies and pasta salads. she did not disappoint.) and chatting about life. it was heavenly!


the girlies also got a little bit of pampering at the nail salon. and i may no longer be allowed to help p with her color selection... but you know, what is a surrogate auntie for if they don't let you go wild every now and then?

and while they got dolled up, i got to meet this sweet boy who was born to my friend rachel in my absence (how dare she!). isn't he the most delicious little man ever? i think so. so much so that he has been prearranged to marry my precocious little poppy. i'm certain that rachel will regret this as my youngest daughter could possibly do a little bit of corrupting to this kind, gentle, dapper boy. but what's a little corruption between friends, especially in the name of love?

and then these two twins (born to different mothers 3 days apart, but whatever) had themselves the second annual summer lemonade stand on the streets of chicago. they made ten dollars and drank about a gallon of lemonade.

this picture (below) is my favorite of the batch. it shows my beloved chicago city streets with the filtered sun... ahhh, how i love this image that is embedded in my mind. it takes me back to autumn walks with e in her stroller when she was teeny tiny.

and then when it was time to go, i gave jen a hug goodbye and jen's belly kicked me back. i must admit, for a minute, i just assumed i was preggo again... but then i realized it was a little hello from within. as i hugged my dear jen, she started to get we cheeks. and well, i just couldn't hold it back! my own waterworks engine kicked in and i found myself with my own wet tears... and as you've already read, they have kept-a-commin'. i don't know what it was, but saying goodbye to this sweet friend and her even sweeter babe was the start of a very bad mascara streak... quite literally.

and as an aside... this afternoon i went to a lemonade stand/ bike riding brigade/ sprinkler bonanza happy hour with some of my p-town peeps. two of my friends have new little babes. sweet addison and elise were laying in the lawn on a blanket side by side, one sucking on the other's arm, and it made me smile. those girlies are bonded for life and i'm pretty confident in saying they will always have that bff to turn to no matter what.

a + b = this blog post

as i mentioned earlier, i was in chicago for a week with my sweet ellie girl visiting cherished friends. i'll write about that in due time. but for now...

a.) while in chicago i caught a case of the tears. i'm serious. i don't know what happened but i became incredibly emotional and once those drops started falling, well, they just kept-a-commin. i wouldn't say that i was sad, just emotional. as soon as they would come, i would just push 'em back and try to keep them at bay. but somewhere between chicago and san franciso, those salty suckers just started to flow. as my girl was distracted with a movie, i stared out the window and silently wept. my mind was swirling with thoughts. i thought about friendship and home. i thought about the gifts that come when we let people into our lives, truly into our lives. i thought about my sister. i thought about pain. and through it all, i gazed at this...


those clouds were so symbolic to me. swirls of cushions layered below, that looked like they could catch me if i fell, like a soft bed. i was enamored with them... so much so that i broke out my camera and captured the moment. through this, i realized that life is filled with soft cushions. we meet people that feel like blankets, covering us with their warmth and love. people that are there for us and ready to catch us when we fall. i'm thankful that my life is filled with these people. i am blessed beyond measure to be surrounded by "warm blankets". as i thought of my sister and the surgery that she was about to undergo, i realized that she too, is surrounded by blankets. God designed it this way. He gives each of us support in our times of need, in our times of joy, in our times of confusion. but if we let it, those "warm blankets" can point us to Him. for He is the warmest blanket of all. while have some pretty comforting friends, He is the one that offers the most comfort. amen!

b.) today, while driving through the canyon that lies between pleasanton and freemont, my mind was swirling again. today, God didn't speak to me through clouds. He spoke through song lyrics. i was listening to the song how he loves by the david crowder band and one line just kept jumping out...

when all of a sudden, i am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.

as those lines kept running through my head, i kept thinking about pain. i kept thinking that when we fall into our pain, like those soft warm blankets of clouds, sometimes it gets eclipsed (covered) by God's glory. when we hand our pain over to Christ, not letting it consume us, but letting it transform us, the image that is seen is the majesty of our King.

the song goes on...

and i realize just how beautiful you are, and how great your affections are for me. oh, how he loves us so. oh how he loves us. how he loves us all.

i was overcome with joy and as God wrote on my heart this amazing love. it was easier to bear the pain that my sister walks through today as i came into the belief that God loves her this way, too. His affections ARE great and He is beautiful... sometimes even more so as we walk through pain. and He'll catch us. He'll catch her in his great warm blanket of love.

oh, how he loves us so!