Monday, October 26, 2015

a pig and an elephant...

today, poppy asked me if she could read me a book she had brought home from school.  always a fan of listening to my girl read, i eagerly said "yes".

girlie opened up her book, i'm a frog by mo willems.

the book features a pig who claims to be a frog.  the pig frog is having a conversation with an elephant...

pig:  "ribbit!"

elephant:  "you learn something new every day!" (confused by a pig who isn't oinking)

elephant:  "when did you become a frog?"

pig:  "about five minutes ago."

elephant:  "FIVE MINUTES AGO!?!"

elephant:  "FIVE MINUTES AGO SHE WAS A PIG!"

elephant:  "NOW SHE IS A FROG!"

pig:  "ribbit!"

elephant:  "what if I become a frog?"

elephant:  "HOPPING ALL DAY..."

elephant:  "eating flies!"

insert worry here.  the graphics display the fear that one might have in the confusion of how one thing suddenly changes into a new identity...  worry takes hold and fear eclipses.

pig:  "ribbit!"

elephant:  "I DO NOT WANT TO BE A FROG!!!"

pig:  "it is okay, gerald."

pig:  "it is pretend."

elephant:  "IT IS THE END!?!"

pig:  "no gerald.  pre-tend.  i am pretending."

elephant:  "what is pre-tend-ing?"

pig:  "pretending is when you act like something you are not."

elephant:  "wow...  and you can just do that?!"

elephant:  "you can just go out and pretend to be something you are not!?"

pig:  "sure.  everyone pretends."

elephant:  "even grown-up people?"

pig:  "all the time."

and the book continues on with this story and the elephant eventually pretends to be a cow.  the purpose of the book is to teach kiddos to use voice inflection when reading.

but a different message settled in suburban momma's heart.

people pretend all the time.  people act like they are something that they are not.

and i gave pause.  i like real.  i know that everyone is different and that not everyone is like me.  but something stirred in my heart as poppy read through this story.  why do people pretend?  why does the human race feel this need to be something that they are not?  why isn't just being you good enough?

i like you!  i like the real deal.  and i realize that sometimes you (or me just being me) fails.  that stinks.  but it is real.  people, real people, will fall short.  it will happen often.  it will happen when they are trying hard to be amazing.  it will happen in the mundane.  and there is no avoiding it.

so why do we pretend?

and i think, it comes down to pride.  it comes down to a fear of failure.  it comes down to a need to please others.  or maybe a fear of embarrassment.

but are others really pleased when we put on a pseudo-self and "act" like something we are not?

i think as i grow older (which is real and happening in spite of my resistance), i am finding that my heart gravitates to "real".  i want the velveteen rabbit.  i want the real mccoy.  i want you to be you- broken, lame, imperfect.  and i will love you for that.  sometimes it is a challenge.  it often doesn't come easily, but the love that emerges from authenticity is most often the love that is long-lasting.

tell me when you fail.  show your mess-ups and own them.  and talk about it.  let those in your life be part of your story.  while i used to live by the motto of "fake it till' you make it", i am less in love with that these days.

these days, i want legit.  it's ok to mess up.  it's ok to be less than perfect.  in fact, most people will like you more that way.  they'll feel safer in your presence because "real" is relatable.  "perfect" is intimidating.

i get it.  i get it.  we all want to be amazing.  but what my heart heard in that story (and as i live out my life) is that YOU ARE amazing.  you are amazing when you rock it.  and you are also amazing when you stumble.  you were created for good.  and when you are "real", regardless of what you produce or how you show, good emerges.  when we fake it...  everyone really knows that you're a faker anyway.  and if they don't today, they will figure out your charade eventually.

and so if you are a pig, just be a pig.  if you are a frog, that's cool, too.  but don't be a frog if you were made to be a pig.

be you.  and be the BEST YOU that you can muster up.

that is good enough.


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