run, forest, run

when scott and i moved to cali a little over 4 years ago, we decided to embrace the california lifestyle and become runners.  we sort of figured that while in illinois we could use the weather as a scapegoat, but that moving to a city with an average of 264 sunny days/year that excuse was out the window.  on week one in sunny ton pleasanton, we both bought sparkly new tennies.  we devised a run schedule that would allow each of us to get some street time and hit the pavement.  for scott this lasted for a longer period.  as for me, it lasted for a total of about 3 runs.  i think i logged about 1.5 miles total in those three runs and decided that running might not be for me.  for reals.  i was not into it and could barely make it three houses down.

i should back up a little bit.  as a child i was a hot-potato athlete.  i participated in a few seasons of soccer, a few winters of gymnastics, logged a season or two on the ice dabbling in figure skating and then moved to virginia.  upon arriving in virginia, i discovered that gymnastics, soccer and any sports that required ice were a no-go for girls.  they just didn't have those sports once you hit middle school. i was a little bummed, but since i was a dabbler i quickly moved on.  for a brief stint i took up swimming.  i liked swim team quite a bit but had a hard time with the effects it had on my teenage hair.  i am one hundred percent serious when i say that i quit swim team because the chlorine was turning my hair orange.  i was a confident girl, but that was a not in the cards for me.  and so i quit.

in high school i became a team manager.  as someone who enjoys being involved (and as a teenager that enjoyed being around boys), basketball manager and soccer manager had my name all over it.  myself and a few of my besties would organize uniforms, take stats at the game, tend to towels and hydration and check our "participation in sports" box.  i mean it.  i lettered in managing.  (i have the letter to prove it.)  as a result, i had a lot of male friends and that worked pretty well for me- boys made better friends in that era in my life.

but there was a little bit of sadness due to the fact that i was not, by any stretch of the imagination, an athlete.

around nine months after we arrived in california, those new running shoes that had been tossed to the back of the closet began to call to me.  i can't explain why, but for some reason i felt like i had to put them on again.  it just so happens that a friend i had made at e's school started talking to me about running.  she asked me to join her and i obliged.

for lack of a better term, she kicked my arse.

turns out, she was a former oakland police officer who worked out A LOT and ran almost every day.  on our first run she had me going three miles and up large hills and at a very rapid pace.  i almost died and wanted to transfer schools after our first time out so as never to see her again.  it was ugly.

but i went back for more... because she was my friend and because i didn't want to be a quitter.

and for the better part of a year, i hit the pavement logging three miles three times a week with kari.  it went from something i did to something i enjoyed.  and what kari doesn't know is that in that year, she gave birth to a runner.  i am forever thankful.

in october of that year, i ran a 5k to raise money for my sister who was in the midst of cancer.  somehow, running a race for her felt like i was actually doing something to help her in her journey- while i realize that it did very little for her (aside from raising funds for a wig to wear during chemo), it did a lot for me.  it gave a place to put my energy/cancer angst and carved out time to pray for her recovery.

eventually, i moved schools and took up a new running partner (due to mismatched schedules with my former one).  dawn was up for the challenge and ran by my side for the better part of two 1/2 years.  we found a rhythm and we entered races- a 5k, a 10k and then the one that felt like it was out of the park...  she forced encouraged me to run a 10 miler across the golden gate bridge.

i loved every minute of it.

it was social- i cherished our chat time.  it was invigorating.  it was an outlet for stress and a way to feel a little bit more "healthy".  and when it was over, i contemplated tying my laces together and hanging up my running shoes.  i had a good run, so to speak.

but something within me kept nudging me foreword.  a half-marathon was just out of reach and i felt like i was so close.

and so i kept going.

again, due to changing agendas and schedules, i needed a new running partner.  lynn stepped right up to the plate.  she was in the midst of training for boston (she has been a serious runner for years) and was willing to run with ever so slow me.

suddenly, i found myself logging miles for my short runs alone and anxiously awaiting the long runs each weekend with her.  my pace improved.  my desire to get to 13.1 cemented and in the midst i realized that i was an athlete in the making.

an athlete.  for reals.

and today, lynn and i logged 13.1 in livermore at the inaugural runliv half marathon.

who knew?

certainly not i.  but i can tell you with certainty that i am not ready to hang up the shoes.  i surprised myself and finished with a time i can be proud of.  more importantly, i pushed myself to do something so out of the box for me and felt proud as i approached the finish line to see my family cheering me on.  it felt good to show my girls that their momma was an athlete.

and i guess it goes to show that who you were is never who you are.  we always get to have moments where we surpass even our own expectations for ourselves.  we get to reinvent and we get to redefine- day by day, little by little.

nothing is out of reach.