way back in the day, scott and i attended a church in chicago that was like no other. i didn't realize it at the time, but it set the standard for my expectations of community and how i believe that God calls us to live with each other.
i don't recall all of the details, but our church was very "community project" driven and i had just secured a job in the inner city working with very underprivileged children. the school i was to work for was brand new and lacked some of the essential supplies that a classroom needs to function well. somehow someone learned of this and encouraged me to jump start a book campaign for my classroom. and so one sunday, i took to the stage during announcements and presented the need to our very young (think poor starving college kids) congregation. the request was for books- go to the local book shop and buy one or two favorite picture book titles to begin a library for this school.
the next week i went to the designated book drop spot to pick up the ones that had been delivered. there was a pretty good stack of books. i was surprised at how quickly my church had rallied to the cause, and while the stack wouldn't even come close to putting a dent in the need that our students had for quality literature, it meant the world to me to have friends and strangers press in and be the vehicle that started the movement.
a few weeks passed and i received an email. the email was from a girl in our church that i did not know saying that she had some books in her trunk to give me and requested that we meet on sunday in front of our church so that she could make the transfer. she expressed "that it wasn't much" but that she had wanted to help.
i remember walking down addison street in chicago with her to her car on sunday morning. she opened the rear of her red suv and revealed bags and bags and bags of books. back when i made the request, i had given a list of titles in the event that someone needed a suggestion. rachel, (the girl whose trunk i was standing in front of), had purchased every single title on the list. apparently she worked in a chicago public school and sent an email to her friends/colleagues with my request (this was long before the days of facebook/blogs/twitter and texting). and then the books pored in. bags and bags and bags of books. she shared this story with me (inserting apologies for how she wished she could have done more) as my jaw dropped to the street in disbelief. i was amazed. oh- and as a last little throw in, she handed me an envelope with some gift cards in it. i guess some of the people that wanted to help lived far away and so they sent a check. no biggie, right? when i later looked in the envelope, i discovered several hundred dollars worth of book money gift cards.
somehow, i went from having a classroom with no books to having a classroom with enough books for all of my students to take home a different book home each night for their independent reading assignment.
what? it blew my mind. it was the first time in my adult life that i had witnessed the full effects of "entering in". i was on the receiving end of this and to say that i experienced the kingdom of heaven here on earth or the love of Christ is an understatement.
i was overwhelmed by the love of Christ- who takes a need we have and runs full force with that need- through the hands and feet of flesh and blood- allowing us to experience the beauty of the kingdom of heaven while we are still right here on this very broken earth.
and my mind was blown.
and a mental transformation started. i began to think about this concept of entering in- to the needs and causes that matter to those around me. and i realized that to do so- to enter in- is a choice. rachel did that with me (a complete stranger at the time). she saw a need and decided to meet it. except she went one step further. she opened the door wider and cast the net beyond my reach. and through one person, reaching out to another person, responding to the need of some inner city kiddos, they learned to read. the students in my school, on average, achieved a 2+ year academic gain in their reading skills that year. um... Amen? yes. Amen!
this was the beginning of a movement in my heart and a transformation of how i believe that the kingdom of Heaven works while we are still here on earth. but it starts with a choice.
over the years, the choice to "enter in" has presented itself to me again and again. there are times i choose "yes" and times i have chosen "no". i can say with certainty, that i regret the times i have chosen "no" and am always changed by the times in which i have chosen "yes". life happens and develops and grows and molds and transforms us in the "yes".
a few months ago a friend of mine forwarded an email link about a baby girl born with a heart defect. the momma was the sister of my friend's friend. i read the link and was overwhelmed with the heart of this mother.
yesterday, as the momma delivered the eulogy for her beautiful lion heart, tears freely flowed down my cheeks.
...Thank God we didn't know at any point what lay ahead on our road. I feel like we lived in each day. and we took it as it came. That was the only way to live, and by doing that, we stayed sane and mostly happy.
But I can remember being so scared a lot of the time. All I could see in those early months was fear and difficulty. I looked around at my friends who had children at the same time as I had, and they were healthy and "normal" and I felt that life had handed out the cards, and that our sweet Cora had drawn the short stack. That we got gypped. I desperately loved Cora and wanted the best for her, but I was afraid and terribly lonely. I shared things with my close friends and family, but I withdrew from people outside that circle, and I was angry and annoyed by almost everything people said to try to comfort me.
We went in and out of the hospital a few times during the month of December until we finally landed inpatient for what became a five month stay. The road became rockier, the things we saw became more intense, the news became worse.
But then something miraculous happened. I had the intuitive thought one day that I should write a blog about Cora. I know this wasn't my own thought. My natural state is to protect myself and my family. To guard against harm. To be very private. And yet, here I was putting it all out there for anyone in the world who wanted to read it....
...After I started writing the blog, I guess the fear that I had felt all her life until then, just fell away. We walked a terrible and scary road, but with each day, what we mostly saw was beauty. Cora made things beautiful....
and as i sat there and listened from the balcony of a crowded church in san anselmo, tears freely flowing, i knew that this momma and her beautiful family had experienced the kingdom of heaven right here on this earth. they chose to open the doors wide and God met them graciously in the hard (the very, very hard) by surrounding them with love and beauty and kindness through flesh and blood- real live people living out the kingdom of heaven because they chose to enter in.
and so it brings me to this. a challenge. in honor of sweet cora, in honor of her momma taking a chance and walking out of private and into a state of openness....
would you?
could you?
choose someone today to "enter in" with? could you look around yourself and open your eyes to a heart that is hurting or someone with a need and take a step towards walking with them as they journey? you don't have to have all of the answers (or any of the answers, for that matter). you don't need to have a big wallet. you don't need to have oodles of extra time. and i promise, the hunt for a place to "enter in" won't be hard. my guess is that each one of us has someone that comes to mind right away.
i thought about this yesterday a little bit. i didn't have to be there. my heart didn't have to break. i didn't have to "enter in". but while my cheeks would have been dry and my heart would have been less heavy, i wouldn't have met sweet cora. and i promise you, my life is better for knowing her.
i am not one who is very private. but as of late, i tend to want to cling to closed doors a little more. it often feels easier. but i think that is a lie we tell ourselves and a shield we place around our hearts. watching this momma, even from a distance, confirms something in me that i know to be true. light and life and God appear in the homes and hearts that are flung wide open. and then there is the other side of the coin. while this is hard to say and probably even more difficult to hear, there is this: i think satan wants to creep right into the homes and hearts that are a little bit more closed... and fill those hearts and homes with self-doubt, and loneliness, bitterness, anger, resentment and a lack of worth.
and so after you take the challenge to "enter in" in a life around you where you see a need...
could you?
would you?
consider living you life with your door a little bit more open? could you pull back the drapes of your heart and possibly open up a place where you yourself invite others in?
it's risky. yes. but as i said, i think growth and love and the kingdom of heaven develop there. in my opinion, that is worth the risk.
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