their first love

you see, he is their first love.

i ended my last post with that thought and am going to pick up where i left off here.  

i keep watching my girls.  as they grow, they continue to cling to their momma.  this is true.  they love me a great deal.  

but they ADORE their daddy.  

if you ask them who they want to marry, almost always they will say "daddy".  

and we giggle and tell them that dear old dad (the most youthful man i know) is taken.  

but it has given me great pause.  you see, i believe that a daughter learns ever so much about choosing a mate from her father.  they watch how he cares for them.  they see the traits he possesses.  they see the ways he shows love to their momma...

if they like what they see, they will gravitate towards a man who is similar.

i can only hope.

and pray.

that they find a man like scott...

this momma knows what that is like.  to be the woman on his arm...  

i don't know how i came into this place, but the three fine daughter of father buser would be oh so lucky to accept the dance of life on the arm of a man like my husband.

i think the gift that is the most valuable right now, that he is lavishing upon them, is the gift of investment.  and i think the key to how he is implementing this lies in authenticity.  you see, he is finding areas that they are interested in that overlap with an area of interest for him.  often this is a new interest for him, but one in which he can pursue with enthusiasm.  and then he takes it further. he helps them develop this interest.  he shows them how to learn, how to develop a skill, how to improve, how to struggle, how to celebrate success appropriately...  it is beautiful to watch.

i am watching it unfold with e as they explore surfing together.  i've watched it unfold with all three as they have taken up hiking together.  and the list goes on.

he leaves them articles at the breakfast table.  he shares photos with them.  he creates movie night around a theme he knows they will love...

if i could give one solid piece of advice to dads of daughters around the world, this would be a leading contender.

invest in their interests with authenticity and then invite them to engage in this interest as often as you possibly can together.


while everyone can have their interests on their own, this takes their interests a step further.

it tells the girlies so much.  it tells them that they matter.  it tells them that their interests are worth pursuing.  it tells them that life shared with someone is rich and meaningful.

and while they are engaging in this intentional overlap of interests, it opens doors for conversation.  dear old dad is invited in as they grow up, rather than pushed out.

relationships are precious but life often gives us more opportunities to push people out rather than invite people in.

it is in the invitation, in the staying, in the trust and the conversation where we develop true character and depth.

we haven't hit the teenage years yet, but i think father buser is on the right track.  i am not naive.  i know that these relationships will have an evolution.  i know they will have hiccups and periods where it feels less harmonious than it does at this moment.  but every step towards relationship matters.  it is growing them and stretching them and building into the little ladies that they are.

my heart bursts as i ponder this!  the beauty and joy of this man loving our girlies well...  lots of dads do it but i don't think that it is celebrated nearly enough.