reflections on 26.2 (i promise i won't say the "M" word again)

i don't really know how i got myself into this.  i am not a "bucket list" sort of gal and never really fancied myself a distance runner.  but one thing sort of led to another.  somehow i found myself achieving 13.1 several times in a row and then thinking, "if i'm ever going to go 26.2, it is a whole lot easier from 13.1 then it is from 0.0"  and in the back of my mind i was sort of craving 0.0.

i know myself well enough to know that most marathons are not for me.  most include hills and many miles of boring.  the one that could have been for me, possibly, was chi-town.  i heart my 8 years as a mid-western gal.  i love that i got to explore my earlier marriage years, advancement of my career and motherhood embarkment in a city.  quite possibly, this happened in the best city ever.  

and so when Lynnie suggested that carey and i enter our hats into the chi-town marathon arena two years ago, shortly after i ran a few halves, i said yes.

sadly, my lottery number was rejected.  and so was carey's.  and so was lynn's.  it was meant to be.  we were not supposed to run 26.2 in 2015.  and i thought "that is that".  

in the spring of 2016 carey got the bug.  she decided to run 26.2 in napa right after big 4 ut 0.  in an effort to support my gal, i decided to become a race bandit and i ran miles 14-25 with my girl.  (i promise, i didn't take any water or cross the finish line.  i just supported and encouraged.)

and then we all got the chi-town marathon lottery email.  because we had been rejected after entering the year prior.

and we all decided it couldn't do any harm to enter.  "why not?"

and then we all got in.

ut oh.

in june we started training.  but i had sort of neglected running for a wee bit and our training began at 13.1.  that first run out of the gate was miserable.  and when i returned home i was pretty sure that this gal had a serious injury.  off to my dr. i went.

and dr. a refereed me to dr. b and dr. b...  long story short i landed myself in physical therapy twice a week and chiropractic care for the duration of marathon training.  my entire care team was on board with the plan- this girl needs to run 26.2.  make it happen.

and they (and i) did.  it wasn't easy.  my ankle tendons were constantly swollen causing stress on my shins and my shins caused strain on my the tendons behind me knee and my knee caused lower back pain...  and it sort of stunk.  but i was determined to do this thing that i had set out to do.

and if you know me, you know that isn't exactly me.  while i front to be a "stick with it" kind of gal, deep down, i can be a quitter.  

but also deep down, i knew that running 26.2 was about sticking with it.  it was this super stupid, super weird, very grown-up, prove-to-myself moment, where i did exactly what i had set out to do.

and so i did exactly that.  i trained (barely) and i mentally prepared for doing this marathon.  

along the way, i learned a few things:

1.)  marathon training is like the equivalent of chicken pox or the flu.  it is rather alienating.  flowers draws bees.  running early every weekend morning draws nothing.  in fact it cuts you off from social engagements, turns you into a carb-loading freak and shuts down your social norms...  for a long time.  a very long time.

2.)  long-distance training is boring and alienates even your biggest cheerleaders.  family members who love and support you most of the time grow tired of hearing about chafing and knee braces and energy chews long before you have adequately prepared for your race.  even the most supportive family member tires of 26.2 long before you have even run 15.6.  

3.)  every training route will eventually become the most horrible path you have ever run.  it can be beautiful.  it can be lined with water fountains, bathrooms and rainbows.  it does not matter.  once you have done more that 45 miles on its course, you will hate it.  loath it.  that's how i feel about the iron horse trail.  in theory it is magnificent.  in reality it is ridiculously long and stretches from p-town to never-never land.  nobody should every run that far or that long or on a repeated track- regardless of how runner-friendly it is.  it is simply the best.  and simply the worst.  

4.)  last but not least, those in your circle, are amazing.  they support.  they cheer.  they celebrate.  when you think you can't take another step and might secretly dodge the marathon and just hide in the nearest nordstrom for the duration of the race and then take place in post race celebrations- they will emerge and guilt encourage you into doing what you set out to do.  

the week before my race my porch flooded with support.  and each and every time i was in utter appreciation of those that cheered me onward.

everyone knows i love champs.  really, they do.  but a customized label?  yes, please.  i WILL run 26.2 in an effort to gobble this down.

bling?  always!  tennis shoe bling engraved with positive messaging and the date of my marathon?  are you kidding me.  i HAVE to run the heck out of this thing now!  and why wouldn't i if i could stare at this for 26.2 and know how loved i am?  

seriously?  you had me at icy hot!  this gift bag covered the full monty- from bad breath (it's really a running thing) to tummy trouble solving pepto!

flowers in the hotel room?

friends the day of packet pick-up?

all of these things made running sweeter.

the night before the race, with all our gear lined up, things got real.  i was DOING THIS.  me the quitter?  yep.  me.  no turning back- just running forward.

and on that morning, i chose to do just that.  for the most part, my mind was in the game.  but i was also scared.  maybe even terrified.  you see, i knew that i would run 13ish miles in my normal mode- chatting with my gal-pal.  but i also knew that somewhere around 13 we would split ways and finish on our own.  i was prepared to do this.  and i was also terrified to do this.  the quitter in me was so afraid that i would download an uber or hop a cab when i hit "the wall".

these were fears i hadn't exactly communicated to my running pals, but they were ones that danced around my brain from time to time.

and so when i hit mile 11ish and my beautiful friend jen jumped out into the street screaming my name and her lovely little bess danced with a sign of my moniker, i nearly burst.  i was certain that i would make it.  no need for uber.  no taxi necessary.  i had the encouragement that i knew i needed but never ever expected.  amen.  hallelujah.  are you kidding me?

and then that sweet little duo popped out several more times between 11 and 25- encouraging me, loving me and cheering me on towards the finish.  words can't express the way that my heart nearly burst out of my chest as i saw them AGAIN at mile 25.

i knew that running my city would be surreal.  however, i had no idea that as i ran, my sweet lovely jesus would show up.  with each mile under my belt, with these cali peeps at my side, with my history lining the route, and my jesus-loving gal-pal popping up all over along the route, i realized that my God is with me on this journey.  He knows my story.  He knows my strengths and my weaknesses.  He knows my comings and my goings.  He knows my fears and the things i cling to with pride.  and none of it is a mistake.

and my heart swelled with joy and accomplishment and love.  love was weird to me- but i couldn't help but think about my sweet scott.  and our anniversary and a marathon weekend.  and saying "i do".  14 years later- i ran my marathon, with the beautiful support of my husband (who never knew i would be a runner), on our anniversary weekend, in our town, where we no longer live, and metaphorically i thought of us.

life is a marathon.

motherhood is a marathon.

marriage is a marathon.

and all of those things are worth fighting for.  sacrificing for.  training for.  preparing for.  digging deep for.  and celebrating.

and i swear, none of this would have happened. none of this would have been realized if it weren't for my lynnie and sweet carey.  i don't know how i got so lucky on the friendship end of the stick, but i really REALLY did.  i am surrounded by so many people who support me- God knows why they do- but they do.  and it makes this journey ever so sweet.

 even the journey of 26.2.  i am a lucky girl to have these ladies by my side.  while we ran, they taught me so much more than running can teach a girl.  the lessons are endless.