when i first moved to p-town, i joined mops from the jump. my first session was attended while we were still living in a hotel and waiting for our moving truck to make the journey across the country. it was on, like, day three of my new life. it also happened to be the first time that i felt peace over the course of the journey.
as i settled into that chair around the table with other mommas, i was washed over with this feeling of comfort and peace. pops was in the baby sling strapped to my chest and d and e were in the kid program. as i sipped coffee and exchanged conversation with this new group of women, i felt a wave of rest wash over me. it was an "it is well with my soul" moment where i claimed confidently that we were going to be ok. for the first time in months i was able to exhale and truly believe that california was going to turn out alright.
mops operates on a bi-weekly schedule and after two weeks had passed i was eager to get back to that table and anticipated that i might feel a sweep of that feeling of calm once again. (those first few weeks didn't hold many moments of calm in the day-to-day and so i was hopeful it might happen again. a momma can always hope, right?)
the second meeting of the mops group was met with a speaker from a local preschool talking about discipline in the motherhood and how to best show love to these babies of ours while walk through the toddler years. she was a very good speaker, but if i am honest, the topic wasn't one that i needed much coaching in. not because i've got "mom of a preschooler" nailed, but i was longing for fuel for my soul and some form of a distraction from the crazy life of "mom of a preschooler". (but boy, could i use her now in the pre-teen years!) but there was something about those moments as i listened to her talk. i kept feeling this draw to her and a nudge on my heart to know her more. at the end of the session she passed out a brochure for the preschool where she was director, answered some questions, prayed for the mommas in the room and left. the brochure felt heavy in my hands and i was sure in that moment that God was telling me that this is where my babes were to go to preschool when the time approached for d and p. i tucked it in my purse, prayed a bit for clarity, felt a firm confirmation in my heart and went on with my day.
upon arriving home, i tucked the brochure into a file folder labeled "delaney", knowing that when the time came i would check it out.
almost 15 months later, i pulled out that file folder to find the name of the school that i had felt God confirm in my heart as the place for my babes. i immediately googled the school and examined the curriculum. great. it was play based. and a co-o. not exactly the direction i had planned on taking. what to do? what to do?
a new friend of mine was also planning on signing up at the same school. we made plans to carpool together and sent each other reminders about dates for registration packets, medical forms etc. what had felt good, and then felt bad, began to feel good again. i liked the idea that our girls would go together.
but in the weeks that passed before making a final commitment, the internet kept calling my name. i began to google local preschools and scrutinize their programs. several non-play based, academic curriculum schools kept calling my name. and just as soon as i would set up an interview, God would shut it down. conviction would sweep my heart and i would cancel the tour.
i signed d up for the play based, co-op school that went against my internal curriculum driven grain.
i wish i could say that i did it with confidence and joy, but that isn't so. it was more of a, "ok, God. but you better rock this out and make it fab. because this isn't looking fab right now... are you sure this is what you want? i mean, did you see the reading program at preschool y? you know i have a degree in elementary education, right?..." (ok- i might have taken some creative liberties in that little chat with God, but you get my point. i wasn't "all in".)
somewhere over the course of the summer, my carpool gal and friend announced she had pulled her kids and was sending them to another school. she didn't offer any explanation and it rocked my world a bit. my head swirled with doubt and i felt very "left behind". all the images that i had placed my hope in for these girlies vanished without having any real understanding. i was hurt, for sure. but mostly, i was envious. so many times, i had wanted to do the same. i wanted to pull the plug on this school and run in the exact opposite direction. but i knew that i couldn't... because while i wasn't showing the joy that i know God desires to see in me, i knew that obedience was of the utmost importance.
and when september rolled around, my d marched her way into mrs. christina's classroom and didn't skip a beat. at the end of the first week they gave d her very own bible and she came home and wanted to sleep with it. it meant the world to her. week after week, she would ask me to read the passages to her that she had learned in class. and then came chapel day. i had no idea! but once a month the director, the miss kelly from that second mops meeting would lead the kids in worship songs and do silly things all in the name of writing Jesus on their hearts. she taught them how to pray and how to be a friend of this sometimes hard to follow invisible God. she equipped them and filled their tool box with all the skills they will need to know as they navigate this great gift of life- right from the only true source of life. i know the chapel days were for the kids, but session after session i found that her words were really just as profound to me. and often i would walk out of that sanctuary with a full heart and tears in my eyes because while i had doubted this was exactly what our little family needed.
who knew that this preschool experience would impact them so much? not i. but who could have even guessed that it was also God's plan for me? over and over i was in awe. over and over i was in disbelief. and it was another stamp on my life of the message that God has got this! my plan always pales so much in comparison to His plan. my ideas of good always fall so very short from where His idea of good will extend to.
i will admit that there were moments where i cringed along the way. mostly, those moments were during the year of two in preschool. dropping off the tuition check always hurt a bit and the co-op schedule of two kiddos was exhausting. really it was. e went to kindy a full reading machine- d did not. but i can say that at the end of the first year of public school, d is right on par reading away and on target for academic success. as i watched it unfold i could exhale because that play based curriculum didn't limit her or put her at a disadvantage as i had feared. in fact, it gave her confidence and social skills that have served her well.
and very little could have prepared me for
her love for Jesus- out of this world! her ability to model kindness, love, compassion, hope and the promise of heaven- off the charts. the girl can sing. (watch out francesca!) she takes project time to a whole new level. has been known to teach the preschoolers some slightly inappropriate camp songs... jk- they are totally appropriate... and totally hilarious. and fills each and every day with laughter and crazy miss k LOVE.
and the girl has nailed sarcasm. the good funny way that makes co-op days HEEE-Larious! and pops is all over peeps that use sarcasm. if sarcasm was a love language, it would be the way to p's heart. pops loved miss k from jump street. and momma found a new friend. over the course of the year, this crazy preschool teacher became my love too. the year may be winding down, but this friendship between crazy miss k and p's momma has nearly just begun.
and so today, on my last co-op day ever, my heart was filled with mixed emotions. sadness. check. happiness to spend a day in the most joy filled preschool classroom ever. check. elation that my days as a preschool co-op momma are
He's totally got this. His plan will blow your mind and He has filled our last three years of my time as a preschool momma with so much amazing it blows my mind. it was a day to celebrate indeed.
(disclaimer: we did not ACTUALLY celebrate today, in the classroom, while the fabulous miss k was watching littles. however, THAT really would have been a wild ride. but i did want miss k to know that we celebrate her and that she was exactly where God called her to be at this moment in time.)
and because miss k loves the hashtag...
#peaceoutpreschoolthismommasgraduating
#terrified
#canmisskcomewithme
#ineedmrskellyforalifecoach
I couldn't agree more. Miss K Rocks! Well put.
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