hope (delivered)… 3/3

as i settle into this christmas eve, my heart is full.  i have three thriving babes- all with very different stories and experiences that helped to write hope for me on my heart.  i sit next to my sweet hubs and i get flutter belly (an expression i steal from my sister) thinking of how he built hope into me.  i look at cards of friends from my past and friends from my present…  experiencing and anticipating joy.  and it clicks for me…  hope builds and crescendos into joy…  even when it doesn't look the way that we expected.

as i have said, the birth of d got me feeling very connected to mary and thinking about mary and analyzing mary.

i have to imagine that a young girl who experienced a visit from an angel giving her the news that she was carry the son of man to term in her belly was a little…  hmmm…  what's the word?  terrified perplexed confused contemplating a visit to the loony bin…  hopeful?  i don't know if that is the word i would use, actually.  i mean, i imagine that as she experienced the telling of the news, she was joyful and felt very chosen…  but then i imagine that there were moments when she realized the full monty of the news that she didn't always want to be the chosen one to be the virgin mother of God.  as she felt the baby growing in her belly and she knew that she had not been with joseph, she must have felt hope and founds rest in the fact that she wasn't hallucinating an angel visit.  but i also imagine that when she was going to the well to draw water and the ladies were talking quietly so she couldn't hear, she didn't feel as strong or as confident.  the bible does not tell us this…  it is simply me speculating.  the bible actually gives us great indication that she was at complete peace and experienced "it is well with my soul" over the whole thing.

and while don't know much else about the journey of mary, we do know that joseph chose to still marry her.  it speaks to me of her character- joseph trusted her and was willing to tarnish his own reputation, going out on a public limb, acknowledging that he believed her and had an equally strong faith in God's revelation- that she was going to give birth to the Christ child.

my human mind tends to project.  and in doing so, i imagine that much of her pregnancy was a lot of internal convincing that it was all going to be ok.  i imagine that she had a lot of unknowns that she was anticipating the answers to…  aside from the birth experience itself, i imagine she wondered a lot what mothering THIS baby would look like.  i mean, no one had gone before her.  she was watching this unfold with no role model and no map- just her, joseph and God.  that must have taken an incredible amount of trust.

and then i imagine that as mary discovered that there was no place to birth her baby, she might have become frustrated (although there is no biblical pointing to this.  again, just me human projecting here)- "this isn't what i expected!  i'm birthing the Son of God, people!  clear me a room!" but that isn't in the retelling.  and it sort of leads me to believe that mary was just incredibly peaceful- in full surrender of the details.

i also think about her birthing the baby, holding him new in her arms, and feeling a heart full of love for her son.  but then i wonder where her mind went…  she didn't have any realization or affirmation that He was THE BABY that God had told her she would birth.  i wonder if she felt doubt in those first few minutes.  i also wonder if she became overcome with uncertainty- this is my boy now…  how can He be the Christ Child?  what will His life look like?  will He live with me for long?  what plans does God have in store for Him?  for surely, the full knowing that this was a virginal birth (as mary had) instilled complete belief in the fact that this WAS from God.

and then the angel appeared and the star directed the footsteps of people from all over to witness the shear sight of this baby…  and i imagine that mary's hope eclipsed with each gift, with each visitor…  experiencing delivered hope…  in her heart and in her arms.  and i imagine that THAT was enough to settle the questions…

and give her a complete posture of surrender to the plans of a God who can deliver a baby who is also God- through a virginal birth.

you see, hope wasn't about sitting back and wishing for something.  that's OUR definition of hope.  the real definition of hope is placing your plans aside, and letting God direct your path.  it is a full surrender with the CONFIDENCE that He knows what He is doing and that He longs for good for you, me…  the world.  we mess it up a great deal and get in the way, but hope always prevails.  and hope is also about a CONFIDENCE that after this life, heaven- a perfect utopia awaits us.  hope is KNOWING that Jesus will show up.  it is resting in the truth that He is who He said He was- that a baby could also be a king.  it is knowing that we don't have to know it all yet, but that God does.  and it is sitting back and placing our trust in Him and in that.

as you walk through christmas, remember that the virginal birth from "just a girl" named mary, is the beginning of hope entering the world.  33 years later, through that baby, hope was delivered on a cross.  it was messy and political and painful for a momma to watch- not exactly what she had in mind- but necessary.

my christmas wish for each of you this year is hope.  i pray that you find it, experience it and dwell in hope.  hope that God is for you- and that as you walk in this hope you will see it to be true with each step you take.  life might hold challenges and  have huge obstacles to overcome, but it is filled with hope- a promise that will be revealed much bigger than just fingers crossed- but a true resting in the unknown that  God will prevail and that it will come to pass.  and as you experience hope- in each day- you will find joy.  you see, it is hard not to find it even in the most difficult of things, when you are resting in Him and hope and a future that has been promised.

and it all started with a baby.  something so innocent and pure and dependent.  it's funny how God unfolded that plan.  He doesn't NEED us…  we need Him.  and yet, His plan for redemption, hope and joy came through a very dependent baby.  it speaks to me about His desire for us to be in relationship with Him, to be a part of the story instead of just a witness looking in from the distance.

merry Christmas!