once, twice, three times a laney

my d turned 3 this week. when asked about her birthday in the weeks leading up to it she was emphatic about two things.

"i want a bike party!" (leaving her mother very confused about what such a party looks like)

and

"i want a rainbow cake."

we decided that with 50 degree temps, traveling friends and a rainy season upon us, we would throw the party in june for her half birthday (a much more fitting time for a bike party and thus allowing her momma some time to come up with a better idea of what this might entail. truth be told i love planning a party, so i've come up with a bunch of the details are already. but the weather, that was out of my control.)

but for the now, i was determined to figure out this rainbow cake thing.

after a bit of time on the net and digging deep into the memory banks to recall an idea i read about more than a year ago.... voila! a rainbow cake for my colorful little girlie.

my d was a little bit sick on her big day, but she did her best to enjoy the family festivities. she was tickled when we cut into her white cake with a skittles rainbow on top to discover a true rainbow inside.

and with watery eyes, a runny nose, and some coughs... my d determined to choose the sunny side of life. she was delightful- dancing around the room with her new apron (to help her momma make the rainbow cakes of the future, or course), practicing splits with her new ballet barbie, setting up pet shops and vowing to share all of her new toys with her older sister. it was a sight to see.

and to my d-

while i love watching you grow, i secretly admit that i will miss some things from your toddler hood. as your pronunciations become more clear, i often silently mourn the last time i will hear your little voice push out words like "beckbest" and "slumpy club". when you put your shoes on the wrong feet day after day (intentionally) i smile to myself because it is such a "d" thing to do and it brings you great joy. but lately, you've been wanting to get it right. sigh. the end of an era.

year two has been marked by chatter. your little head starts going the minute it lifts from the pillow and doesn't stop until we've said our darth vader version of "now i lay me". it leaves me tired and feeling a lot like i can't even squeeze a thought of my own into my head, but is beautiful none-the-less. it shows that you care about the world and your questions emphasize the giant sized thoughts that are going on in your mind. you are processing it all and leave nothing left unasked. you ask me when if i am breaking or pushing the gas pedal, where rain comes from and why clouds are in the sky. you aks about palm trees and wires running alongside of the road up in the sky. you ask about song lyrics and are very interesting in the meanings of words. you love wrapping your mind around them and then pushing them back into conversations later on. my favorite "d" phrase of the year is when you declared something to be "outrageous". i smile to myself when i think of it and never want to forget these moments. while your non-stop questioning tires me out, i try to imagine the teenage years and say silent prayers that you'll never stop talking to your dear ole' momma and sharing your thoughts and asking your questions.

and speaking of darth vader prayers, you have melted my heart this past year. as your momma struggled with how much to share with you about auntie stacy and her cancer experience, you have embraced each and every moment. because of your open heart, we've shared a great deal with you. each and every night, i find myself pushing back tears as you openly pray for her healing, for her strength, for her head not to be cold and for her kids to be absent of fear. you pray for uncle barclay and for grandy, that they would be strong and good helpers. i wonder how this will define you and if i could see into the future, i imagine that it has helped elevate your compassion. it has always been in you, but this has just taken it to the next level. for you my dear, i pray that you never loose the gift of caring and seeing other's needs. that is a special gift and i believe it will be a guiding force in your life, sweet girl.

i could go on and on about my d, but for now, i'll wrap it up. happy birthday, laney-lou. your momma and daddy are so in love with YOU.