go, girl, go!

last week i told you about the genesis of my running experience. i told you that i have been running ever since that day about 3 times a week- but as is typically the case with my stories, it doesn't end there.


you see, as i began to run my relationship with my running partner started to unfold. our conversations went more deep and we really started to know one another. and while there is still a lot more to learn, i feel like she is an old friend. it's funny, and i didn't know it on the first day of running, but i was going to need that sort of friend that i could go deep with.


parallel with the onset of my running was the diagnosis of my sister. it was discovered that she had breast cancer at the age of 38. it was determined that she was going to need a double mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation and a whole slew of other things. her life was turned upside down, so to speak.


now it is important for me to remind you of a few things that i have shared over my years of blogging- (if you know these, just disregard. if you don't, then it will help make the picture more clear). my sister is 38. she has six children, one that she surrendered to heaven because of trisomy 18- 5 boys, 1 girl. my sister home schools all 5 of them. my mom lives in my sister's garage (that sounds cruel but i promise it's not- really it is now an in-law suite designed and built specifically for my momma). my sister is also the head of women's ministries at her church, blogs, and carpools three boys to football, attends motocross races with three of her sons, add in ballet for her girlie-girl, guitar lessons for three boys, music classes for the littlest boy, awana, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, carpooling my mom all over the philadelphia burbs, and did i mention laundry (i can't even imagine what those piles would look like if i was running that whirlpool over there)?... just writing it all out makes my head hurt and makes me long for a nap.

anyway, back to june and a cancer diagnosis and her life being turned whoopsi daisy- if you had the opportunity to watch her, you'd know that she didn't miss a beat. she simply grabbed hands with God and said, "ok, God, we're going to do this? you're going to carry me. i'll follow." now i may be simplifying it a bit, but from my daily conversations with her, i can tell you that is pretty much how it went. she struggles just like the rest of us do, but she has stood firm in her belief that God has this covered. he has a plan. he's going to (and has) given her strength for the journey. he's surrounded her with cheerleaders and supporters. he's pulling him into his arms and she in return is falling into that embrace. it is beautiful to watch, but complex.

it's complex for a whole bunch of reasons- it's hard because she is my sister. as i've told you in the past, we were so not close growing up. but as adults? she's my go-to girl. i look up to her and cherish our relationship. the thought of her having to go through this trial- well, it stinks. watching anyone fight cancer is not fun. watching it happen to someone you know and love- that stinks even more.

i also think that when someone is in the midst of a trial you get an interesting close-up at their heart. in the normal day-to-day of life, you see a glimpse, but in a trial there is some form of transparency and vulnerability that is like no other. watching stacy at this time is revealing what i've always known to be true- it's just magnified for the rest of us at the moment... she's firm in her faith, obedient to her maker, true to her beliefs. she's the real deal.

it's also complex because i know the laundry list of things that are on her plate. i also know that i live on the exact opposite side of the country. there are days when i just want to run out the door before scott and hop on a plane to go be by her side (wouldn't he LOVE that!). but the truth is, i have my own laundry list of things on my plate, three of which (e, d, and p) don't really make the cross-country trip super feasible. another truth is that in the grand scheme of things, her needs are being met and there is little i could do to help her.

back to running-
so week after week, my gal-pal and i would run together and week after week i would share what was on my heart. funny how things work, but my running partner is no stranger to cancer. she has watched several family members fight it, too.

regularly on our runs, i was share these difficult truths with her about my sister. each time it was met with the most gentle responses, encouragement, support, understanding. you see this running momma got it. slowly, i began to believe that it wasn't a coincidence that she invited me to run one day out of the blue. it started to look more and more like a divine intersection. you see, i started to believe that God knew what was down the pike for my sister and He knew how it was going to wreck me at times. He knew that i would need a friend that "checked in" with me regularly. He knew that i couldn't carry this alone. and while i take a lot of of it to Him daily, He saw fit to give me that perfect companion who would walk (or in this case "run") this journey with me.

*please check in tomorrow, for i have a little announcement to make (monday).