five, six, pick up sticks

a year ago, i celebrated e's 5th birthday with a trip to american girl in chicago. we went with our dear friends jen and payton- who was also celebrating a the big 5! it was a dreamy day. we ate tea sandwiches and petite fours. we shopped and loved on our little girls who had celebrated each and every birthday together. it was lovely.

another year has passed. my e is now SIX. i realized today that i have shared the birth story of d and p, but not my first born (who was born pre-blogging momma). and so today, i share the story of e.

in true tasha fashion, e's due date came and e's due date went. i was in the middle of teaching summer school and starting the new school year for my KIPPsters. it was hot in my no-air, chicago public school. my feet were so swollen that i had one pair of flip-flops that i could wear. my boss was nice enough to bend the "no open toe shoe rule" and let me keep wearing them (it's the little things right?). with each day i was thankful to have more time to train my replacement teacher, but was also greatly disappointed that i was still not meeting my girl.

labor day weekend arrived and i was at the end of my rope. i was scheduled to be induced on the wednesday following the holiday weekend. on sunday, i had a teeny tiny water leak. i wasn't sure, but i thought this was the day. scott and i called the doctor and headed to triage. in triage, they did an assessment and determined that i was NOT in labor. after two hours of observation, with no contractions, they sent me home. scott and i left the hospital disappointed- we had thought we were finally going to get to hold our new baby. instead, we headed to scott's dad for a holiday cook-out in naperville. it was a nice way to pass the time. scott's dad, jill, lindsay and some other family members took good care of me, while i sat in an armchair not really able to move (for reals- i was that big and swollen).

the next morning- at around 7am, my water broke for real. i took a shower, had a waffle, double checked the bag that had been packed for weeks and made my way to northwestern. we settled into our labor room without much fuss. it was very relaxed, very calm, and very exciting. we listened to my birthing mix, chatted, and waited.

the nurse kept coming in to look at my contractions on the monitor. funny thing- i didn't feel a one. she kept asking me what my pain scale was and each time my answer was zero. she'd kind of give me a funny look and then leave. i thought i had this labor thing (on labor day) in the bag.

at around noon, the doctor showed up and checked me. she realized at this time that while i was "contracting", i wasn't making any progress. she decided to release the rest of my bag of waters and start me on pitocin. that was the end of the "chill" labor.

almost immediately, things went from zero to holy toledo. it was insane. it was out of control. contractions kept coming fast and furious and the pain was intense. i had imagined a labor that was free of meds, and suddenly i was begging for an epidural. at around 2:30, my wish was granted.

the rest of the afternoon went back to chill. the epidural apparently took because i was back to feeling blissful. at around 7, the nurse came in and said things were complete. scott and i were shocked! i was feeling no pain, so the realization that the time had finally come was crazy. yet, there we were, getting ready to push.

i wasn't the best pusher.

there were lots of people yelling at me, and i was tired and frustrated. after three hours of this, my doctor looked at me and said i had one more shot before a c-section.

to say that i was disturbed is an understatement. i had gone into this situation thinking that i was going to do it naturally. there i was, with pitocin, epidural and now one push (which is really a three push sequence) away from a c-section. it was bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth for me.

i will interject at this point with a tiny detail- i am not really sure how i thought that i was going to go the route i had mapped out in my head as we hadn't done any natural birthing prep. note to new moms out there- i highly recommend bradley classes and a douala. those two things made all the difference with the d and p. rookie mistake.

back to e. i was NOT going to push for three hours and then end up with a c-section. sure, it happens for lots of reasons, but i wasn't going to let it happen because i wasn't pushing well. i committed at that moment to get this girlie OUT.

i guess that is all it took. three pushes later, my babe was in my arms.

she was beautiful. i can remember watching her dad (who was sitting next to my bed) hold his baby girl. she was staring up at him with her beautiful wide open eyes, battling a case of hiccups. it was a sweet moment. she had experienced hiccups in my belly so many times during my pregnancy. suddenly, there she was out in the world where i could see her doing what i could only feel for months.

the moment is etched into my mind for so many reasons. we walked through those hospital doors as two married people, and suddenly i was sitting there watching this girl that i had grown- my daughter- stare into the eyes of her daddy. he handed her to me after a while and i just kept snuggling her, kissing her head, realizing that i was a momma. it was amazing and life changing.

that girl has rocked my world for six years. three and a half of those years it was just she and i every day. we had so much fun together! we would go on adventures, play with friends and just explore the world together. she was there when we bought our first condo, when we sold our first condo, when we bought our first house, welcomed d into the world, welcomed p into the world, sold our first house, and moved to california.

it's crazy how things have changed and how now i am a momma of a gymnastics loving, story writing, budding artist, book reading first grader. oh my!

i love you sweet e. you've changed my life dear girl- opened my eyes to the beautiful world of motherhood. it is truly a joy to be your momma.

happy birthday, ellie girl. how did you become six so fast?