lonely

the depth of your dreams, the height of your wishes
the length of your vision to see, the hope of your heart
is much bigger than this
for it's made out of what might be

now picture your hope- your hearts desire
as a castle that you must keep
in all of its splendor, it's drafty with lonely
this heart is too hard to heat

when i get lonely, well, it's only a sign
some room is empty and that room is there by design
if i feel hollow, it's my proof that there's more
for me to follow. that's what the lonely is for.

is it a curse or a blessing this palace of promise
when the empty chill makes you weep
with only the thin fire of romance to warm you
these halls are too tall and deep

but you can seal up the pain, build wall in these hallways
close off a small room to live in
but those walls will remain, and keep you there always
and you'll never know why you were given... why you were given the lonely

some room is empty
if i feel hollow, it's just my proof that there's more
for me to follow, that's what the lonely is for

from the depth of your dreams, to the height of your wishes
the length of your vision to see, the hope of your heart is much
bigger than this
for it's made out of what might be


this amazing folk singer came to my high school way back when. i fell in love with his lyrics. if you've been following my blog for a while then it should come as no surprise for me to say that i am deeply impacted by music. it is often the compass of my heart. sometimes a song will tap into emotions that linger under the surface and cause those emotions to stir me.

this week has been a hard one for me. nothing to note has happened, it's just that the lonely has kind of settled in. i guess that is bound to happen given the circumstances. but it took me off guard.

a sadness has swirled around me and i long to click my heels and be back in my home on the range (you know, the one in la grange).

and then i was listening to my itunes and this song came up on the play list. i haven't listened to it in a while. it's by that folksy guy that came to my high school, the same guy i saw in a small concert with some of my favorite friends last fall in chicago, david wilcox. when i first heard it, it didn't resonate with me at all. but for some reason, i downloaded it and added it to my play list.

that "some reason" turns out to be today.

so as i sit here lonely, wondering why in the world we left it all behind, i find these lyrics resting peacefully on my heart.

i have no desire to ever "close off a small room to live in". so today, i'm going to rest in the fact that "some room is empty and it's there by design" (hmm.. sweet Jesus, reveal that empty room to me) and i'm going to let it be my "proof that there's more for me to follow" (HIM).

you see, we didn't end up here on a whim. this process was one that was deeply routed in prayer. with each step, God whispered to us to walk through the next open door. He never promised us anything. He just kept telling us to take the next steps. i know i've written about all of this before, but it is a good reminder to this lonely heart that God brought us here for His plan. and that the lonely will guide me so long as i don't linger in the lonely and so long as i cling to Him. because, let' face it, He has a much greater "vision to see".