ho, ho, ho

before i even get into this post, i am going to throw out a few things-

first: i respect every body's right to choose what they think is best for their family. i also think that every family is different and that there isn't a one size fits all approach to parenting.

second: i think that as we raise our babies, we change. what i thought was right yesterday might not be the same as what i'll think is right tomorrow. this parenting thing is a journey and hopefully when my babies are grown i'll be older and wiser than i am today.

ok, so with all of that out of the way, i'm going to attempt to answer a question that scott and i have been asked routinely over the years. my answer isn't "right" it simply happens to be our best attempt at "right" right now.

the question: why don't you incorporate santa into your celebration of Christmas?

when e was still in my belly scott and i began the difficult task of deciding how we would parent. we opened up the discussion of a certain mr. santa claus and came to the conclusion that we didn't think we wanted him to be a part of our Christmas celebration. sure, both scott and i grew up believing in the man in the man in the red suit. we wrote our list each year, we looked for the reindeer in the sky, and we left our warm cookies and milk. it didn't scar either one of us. but after some serious thought, we both concluded that it didn't make Christmas better for us either.

here's the thing. we desire(d) for Christmas to be what it was intended for. we want it to mark the day that our Lord made a great sacrifice and took on flesh to become man. it was done in such a beautiful way- through a baby, so that earthly minds could wrap their heads around "love".

and the question is, can you do that while incorporating santa? yeah, i think you can. i firmly believe that you can have santa and Jesus and not loose the meaning of the celebration. my mom did it. santa gave us gifts, we had a birthday cake for Jesus and i definitely understood why we were celebrating. it didn't get lost on me...

then.

you see, it is later that i worry about, long after we are done believing that elves are running a toy shop on the north pole. santa and Jesus have a lot in common. they are both "unseen". they both come from a place that our human minds can't quite understand. they both require a lot of faith to believe in.

let me concoct a little scenario here. somewhere down the road all kids stop believing in santa claus. at that point, santa and Jesus are very intertwined. when you stop believing in st. nick there is an element of disappointment that enters all kids minds. it's only natural. so let's say that e reaches her point of truth: the man in the red suit is a sham. she moves on and continues to celebrate the season. somewhere down the line, years later, she's going to have to sort out her other beliefs. she's going to have to spend some time wrestling with God. and on her own, she's going to have to decide if she believes in Him.

as she does this, is there a chance that the intertwined initial experience of the "unseen" and "faith" and the mystery of what our human minds can't totally wrap themselves around become clouded? is there a chance that her disappointment in the santa dude somehow impacts her ability to grasp the truth of a saviour sent to the world as an infant? is it possible that because one is a lie, the other begins to feel suspicious too?

i don't know. each person wrestles with belief differently. but if there is a chance (even a teeny tiny chance) that the fairy tale of santa begins to cloud the truth of a risen saviour, then that's a chance that i'm not willing to take.

you see, my ultimate goal is train her in the way that she will go with the hope that she will not depart from it. i long for my baby girl (s) to seek a relationship with Father God and i don't want to get in the way of that.

santa is cool. he's fun. he makes little kids attempt to behave better during the holiday season. but what he doesn't do is point them to Christ.

and so as for me and my family, we decided to just leave him out of it all together (along with that bunny that hops along dolling out treats in baskets). my kids still love Christmas. they adore Easter. and so far, it hasn't had any form of negative impact on their lives.

and as i said, this is our answer. yours may look differently and that is wonderful. what isn't wonderful though is going through the motions without thinking it through. ans so here is my challenge... you knew this coming, right?

i challenge you and yours to be intentional about what you do. embrace whatever traditions that you think are good and don't let anyone else impose their judgment upon what you decide. and then pray. pray that God will make His birth and His death meaningful in the lives of your babies. pray that they will seek Him. pray that you will have the tools to equip them. and pray that they will embark on a life journey with Him.

and then live it out. openly show them what your relationship with the Father looks like. own your mistakes (man, i have to do this a lot) and share your encounters with the Living God.

***oh, and as an aside, a friend of mine gave me the best way to equip your non-santa believing kiddos refrain from dispelling the myth for their friends... we tell them who st. nick was, and then tell them that if they want to "pretend to believe" they can. the funny thing is, they love being in the know. sure, they wanted to sit on the dude's lap at playgroup and at a holiday party we attended, but they loved whispering to scott and i that they knew he wasn't real. it actually made e feel special to "in the know" about the guy that she doesn't really understand anyway. (she's spent a lot of time trying to picture reindeer flying. smile.) it also all happens to be true- which is important to me in my relationship with my girls.