top 9 of '09

leno has ten at ten, letterman has his top ten list, oprah has her favorite things... and now i have my top 9 of "09! these are the moments that have camped out in my mind as my favorite moments of the year. i think of them often and replay them over and over again in my mind. and so without any further introduction, here they are (in the order at which i was able to locate the photos, not in order of importance).

no.9 of '09: a visit with great grandma and great grandpa kindl

in august we made a trip to michigan to say goodbye to scott's family. the time that we spent with his grandparents was so special to me and so memorable. i love these two human beings so much! it is always such a gift to spend time with them, but this time was even more so. delaney's middle name was selected to honor his grandmother. it was so neat to let "millie" spend time with millie (she calls delaney "millie" and delaney ate it up. she thought it was so fun to have another special nick-name). we had been told that they might not be up to visiting with us, but decided to make the trip anyway. we are so glad we did. we ended up staying several hours and enjoyed every minute of our time with these two special people.


(somehow we didn't take pictures in august, but the photo above is of great-grandma and great-grandpa and aunt merritt. it was taken at merritt's rehearsal dinner party a few years ago. and for the record, we also loved our time with aunt merritt and uncle jon!)

no. 8 of '09: walking into our california rental home

when we finally sold our home in chicago i was just a few weeks away from delivery. although we knew we needed a home "on the other side" we didn't have too many options. since i could no longer travel i could a.) send my husband to california by himself and trust him to buy a home without me and hope that i didn't go into labor while he was gone or b.) rent a home. i chose b. the only problem with that was that it had to be sight unseen (or we'd be left in that laboring without the daddy situation). it is one of the biggest leaps of faith that i can remember taking, but since i didn't really have too many other options at the time, we went with it. we found a house on-line, we looked at some pictures that the landlord sent us, and we asked a lot of questions. i will forever remember that drive from our california hotel to meet the landlord and see the home that we had rented for the first time. i was terrified! the list of "what if's" was getting pretty long in my mind, but i shall say that it has been the best thing that we could have hoped for. the sigh of relief that scott and i let out as we walked through the place we would call home for the next stage of our life is still audible in my mind.

no. 7 of '09: a visit from my aunt pam and uncle gary

in december, my aunt pam and uncle gary (whom i lived with for my first few months of life while my momma was recovering from her aneurysm) came to california to visit us. my aunt pam had been trying to figure out a way to help us with the move and things just didn't work out for july/august/september, so this is what we came up with. it was the most delightful weekend! i loved spending my first few months here anticipating a visit from family and the time they spent here is time my family will cherish. we took a trip to san francisco, went to e's tennis lesson, visited some local wineries and spent quality time together. they played on the floor with my girls and made them feel so special. this special weekend means so much to me and i loved sharing one of my "mothers" with my girls. the girls fell in love with her as much as i do and they now refer to our guest room as "aunt pam and uncle gary's room".

no. 6 of '09: watching my momma walk out of the hospital and into her new home with my sister

at the end of january, after two long months of hospitalization, i was blessed with the opportunity to be present when my mom was finally released from the hospital. thanks to the sacrifice and willingness of my hubby, i was able to fly to philly and help with the transition. seeing my mom walk from the car into the house will forever be etched in my mind and the joy that i felt knowing that God had rescued her will last a lifetime.

no. 5 of '09: an end to the big belly and finally meeting the nine month resident from within

as i have blogged about at nausea, i was two weeks late with poppy. '09 will always be marked by the day that my sweet third baby girl emerged on the scene. to say that i was happy to no longer be pregnant is an understatement. to say that we were happy to meet her, does not do justice to how anxious we were to see who was residing in that great big belly of mine. she is truly a gift- one that this momma was thankful to finally "unwrap".

no. 4 of '09: a special day with my own "american girl"

right before we moved, e and i joined our good friends (jen and payton) for a lunch date at the american girl cafe. we enjoyed petite fours and finger sandwiches, tea and good conversation. it was a girlie delight! i have watched these two little gems grow up together and have come to love them like a sister and a daughter. e's love for them is the same. we miss them so much but i am thankful that e (and i) will remember this special day with our special friends for years to come.

no. 3 of '09: celebrating gigi's 90th birthday

in june, e and i boarded a plane. we met up with my dad, step-mom, sisters, brother, nieces, nephews, cousins, second cousins and gigi (the guest of honor) in niagara falls. we spent a weekend re-telling old stories, sight-seeing, making new memories and celebrating the matriarch of the browning family. she is such an amazing role model as a wife, mother, teacher, friend and woman. i am continually amazed by this woman! she is as funny, elegant, and hip today as she was in my earliest memories of her. i feel so blessed that this celebration fell at a time when i could still travel and that i was present for this very special weekend.

no. 2 of '09: a final trip to my hometown

it is a little strange that this memory makes the list as the weekend was grueling, but there are parts of it that were special beyond explanation. in march my mom, sisters, aunt, cousin and i made a trip to my childhood home to pack up my mom's belongings. we spent the weekend boxing up all of my mothers belongings and put her home up for sale. that part of the weekend was marked by a bit of sadness, but in doing so my sisters and i relived so many memories. going through the artifacts of our life was filled with rich memories of a wonderful childhood with our amazing mother. it was filled with lots of stories and lots of laughter. and then after everything was packed up, we were richly blessed by a celebration in my mom's honor at my childhood church. person after person stood up to share how my mom had enriched their lives. it was a morning that touched me deeply- to see how mom had lived her years in winchester loving God and reaching people was inspiring and brought me to my knees. the words that were shared and the love that pored out during that service was a gift that will keep on giving in my mind forever.

oh, and that hat? yep, that's the hat my mom used to wear on her daily walks. oh, if only i could hear what the neighbors said. giggle!

no. 1 of '09: an end to the snow

if you know me well, you know that i am not a fan of snow. the winter of '09 was filled with snowstorm after snowstorm after snowstorm. i can vividly remember sitting in our family room with delicious d looking out at the great white piles, watching ellie play and daddy shovel. while those memories are sweet, even sweeter is the fact that my new little plot of living doesn't include much white stuff! can i get an amen?

things that make you go yummm!

just when i think i might have run out of things to blog about, this arrived on our doorstep:





at about 8:30 this morning our doorbell rang. upon opening the front door, the girls and i discovered a big white styrofoam box. hmmm... this looks interesting. you may recall that i have a thing for receiving packages. (the girls seem to have inherited this same trait from their momma.) i digress. anyways, we were all pretty eager to see what the intriguing box contained. the box proved to NOT disappoint. if i had known what we were about to discover, i promise i would have taken pictures. the looks on their faces were priceless! they were certainly in package heaven... shock... utter disbelief... amazement... joy!

and we had so much fun with our new friends today! we took pictures, we touched them and examined their body parts (poor guys were in an ice coma). eventually i retired them to them to the garage (to await their inevitable fate... ahhh the perks of being at the top of the food chain). however, the girls did not forget they were out there. throughout the day we visited them several times. first, ellie had to show them off to our babysitter. then, she had a few friends over and wanted to show them off to her gal pals. later, delaney brought me a barbie and said she wanted to give it to the "lobers". several times, i caught delaney trying to get out there and check on them. it was a hoot! she kept saying, "momma, lobers scary!"

and for dinner, we had "lobers". and they were the most delicious lobers we have ever had! it was so much fun. even delaney enjoyed them and kept asking for more "dip" (drawn butter).

i must say, this is the BEST package we have ever received... but you're more than willing to try to top it. just let me know and i'll send you my address (wink, wink).

thanks aunt merritt, uncle jon and our new good friends at lobstergram (who knew?)... sure beats leftover ham any day!

food, glorious food!

no, we didn't give her any 5 month birthday cake, silly. it's rice cereal! i don't usually start cereal this early, but poppy has been eyeing food a lot these days. she sits up at the table and stares down anyone in sight checking out whatever they put into their mouths. i should also confess that it was part of a desperate scheme to get sweet p to take a bottle, too. she's rejected the bottle she once willingly accepted and it's making things a wee bit difficult around here. i don't want her take a bottle too often, but a date night with my hubby is all i'm going for here. that's not too much to ask, right?

at 5 months, my poppadoodle is changing rapidly. she still eats about every three hours, but has gone back to longer stretches at night. although it isn't really consistent. one night she wakes after 4 hours, another night after 6, another after 3. i guess that i can conclude she likes to keep me guessing and prefers to be unpredictable.

at 5 months, she also talks A LOT (man is her daddy in trouble with a house full of 4 girls with a gift for gab). poppy will try to get anybody or anything to talk to her. sometimes it is these sweet, soft little sounds, but most of the time she flat out yells for attention (she's gotta get a word in amongst her sisters, eh?).

she has become a big fan of toys. she likes to hold just about anything that crinkles, rattles, shakes or... you get the picture. she holds onto them and spends lots of time trying to stuff said object into her mouth.

she is still spitting up at a rapid rate. we had hoped this would stop sooner rather than later, but alas it is still going strong. mommy changes her shirt at least twice a day and spends a fair amount of time spot treating the carpet (thank God we're renting right now!).

and poppy's latest development is her efforts to crawl. she has not mastered it yet, but spends a lot of time trying to figure out how to coordinate it all. she usually gets those legs pulled up under her, but forgets to put her hands in place and ends up frustrated... and i'm not helping her with this one. i already lived through e walking at 10 months and d walking at 9... i'm not about to encourage any form of mobility. my days are active enough, thank you. (but she is pretty cute to watch as she sorts it all out.)

and i think that about sums up sweet poppy's past month. everything else is about the same. she adores her sisters, loves her daddy, and continues to bring lots of joy to our world.

once upon a time...

...there was a baby girl named delaney. she brought joy into her momma's world (and her daddy's, and her big sister's, and her baby sister's, and...)

today i'm going to share a little more about that joy filled girl:
yesterday d saw the bumbo chair on the floor and devised a plan. she climbed up onto a chair and placed the bumbo on the table and then put herself on the table into the bumbo chair- a girl with a plan. she then called out, "look it, momma! look it!" it was in that moment that i think it hit me- here is my second born celebrating her second birthday. so often i think of her as older- well, because she acts older. she wants to be older. but the truth is, d sitting in that chair isn't so far off. she is still a baby. just because we have another baby, doesn't mean that she is no longer a baby.

d had a great birthday. we opened some gifts in the morning and then went to a fun place in town (along the same vein as chuck-e-cheese) to play some games and get the wiggles out, and then had cake and ice cream. in the morning we asked her whose birthday it was. her reply... "baby Jesus!"... "no buggy, it's your birthday today!".... her eyes lit up and she was thrilled.

d is obsessed with band aids. i made the mistake of putting the first-aid bin under the sink in my bathroom, rather than above in the medicine cabinet. d noticed my mistake almost immediately and has since decided to put band aids just about everywhere. bump into something... get a band aid! need to fasten something together... get a band aid! something is broken... get a band aid! her most recent use has been for her sweet baby sister. i'm not sure what she was trying to accomplish, but p recently was adorned with a dora on the head. she didn't seem to mind and d was thrilled with her work.

so, the week before Christmas we jumped in with two feet (wearing sparkley two-inch platform flip-flops) to this potty training thing. d decided on sunday morning that she was NOT going to wear a diaper and that she would go on the big girl potty. after a couple rounds of success i broke out the potty patty* stash i had hidden in my closet and decided to embrace the inevitable. my girl, one week shy of 2 had decided she was ready. and who was i to stand in her way?

we dressed for the occasion. she donned a pair of potty patty's*, baby legs, and a tee to inspire her (nothing like an inspirational message to set the stage)!

and let me tell you, day one was a huge success! if being a great success means living in the bathroom, using gobs of toilet paper and hearing lots of "i do, i do". and just as quickly as we started, we stopped because this momma realized that the week before Christmas, the month before Scott's study schedule goes crazy, and two months before the bar exam is not the best time to potty train, thank you very much.

***potty patty is a brand of undies that help in the potty training process. they rock.

below is a clip of d on Christmas afternoon. for a few moments, she was allowed to play uninterrupted with e's coveted barbies. apparently, she had been listening intently to her sister and the dolls all day because she jumped into singing the song without missing a beat.

buggy

my baby bug is two today. as all momma's of young babes say, it is difficult to imagine where the time went and how we got to two. it has flown by. last year i told you the story of sweet d's birth, if you missed it you can check it out now. she was my easy one. for the first year of her little life, she continued to be my easy babe. she was compliant, calm and followed a relaxed schedule. we were in baby bliss.

now, as she turns two, i have a very different description of my d. compliant? not so much. her favorite things are "i do", "laney's",and "no, this way". she marches to the beat of her own drum. that girl also knows what she wants and the path she plans on taking to getting it done. she is as independent as they come, she plays hard and then sleeps hard but she also has the most sincere tender side, too. often, she'll come in for a snuggle or walk up to me out of the blue and say "love you, momma". she is generous and internally provoked to say things like, "thank you" and "you k?".

her newest trait is working the system. if she does something she knows she isn't supposed to do and you ask her a question about it... well here, let me give a few examples...

as we entertained company last night, the television suddenly came on.

example 1

scott: laney, how did the tv turn on?

laney: i don't know. (shoulders shrugged, laid back, "not me" written all over her face, remote in hand)

example 2

laney: momma, book broken (as she offers up one of our special Christmas books in one hand and slivers of pages in the other)

me: laney, how did that happen?

laney: i don't know

shy on personality? not so much! that girl is about as unique as they come. she has a way on putting her "d" stamp on everything she touches and twisting it to be her very own. and that girl can work a room. she can get a laugh whenever she wants.

she has a reputation at e's school, and at church, and at playgroup... and at... you get the point.

and we wouldn't have her any other way.

happy birthday little girl, your momma and daddy love you so much.

ho, ho, ho

before i even get into this post, i am going to throw out a few things-

first: i respect every body's right to choose what they think is best for their family. i also think that every family is different and that there isn't a one size fits all approach to parenting.

second: i think that as we raise our babies, we change. what i thought was right yesterday might not be the same as what i'll think is right tomorrow. this parenting thing is a journey and hopefully when my babies are grown i'll be older and wiser than i am today.

ok, so with all of that out of the way, i'm going to attempt to answer a question that scott and i have been asked routinely over the years. my answer isn't "right" it simply happens to be our best attempt at "right" right now.

the question: why don't you incorporate santa into your celebration of Christmas?

when e was still in my belly scott and i began the difficult task of deciding how we would parent. we opened up the discussion of a certain mr. santa claus and came to the conclusion that we didn't think we wanted him to be a part of our Christmas celebration. sure, both scott and i grew up believing in the man in the man in the red suit. we wrote our list each year, we looked for the reindeer in the sky, and we left our warm cookies and milk. it didn't scar either one of us. but after some serious thought, we both concluded that it didn't make Christmas better for us either.

here's the thing. we desire(d) for Christmas to be what it was intended for. we want it to mark the day that our Lord made a great sacrifice and took on flesh to become man. it was done in such a beautiful way- through a baby, so that earthly minds could wrap their heads around "love".

and the question is, can you do that while incorporating santa? yeah, i think you can. i firmly believe that you can have santa and Jesus and not loose the meaning of the celebration. my mom did it. santa gave us gifts, we had a birthday cake for Jesus and i definitely understood why we were celebrating. it didn't get lost on me...

then.

you see, it is later that i worry about, long after we are done believing that elves are running a toy shop on the north pole. santa and Jesus have a lot in common. they are both "unseen". they both come from a place that our human minds can't quite understand. they both require a lot of faith to believe in.

let me concoct a little scenario here. somewhere down the road all kids stop believing in santa claus. at that point, santa and Jesus are very intertwined. when you stop believing in st. nick there is an element of disappointment that enters all kids minds. it's only natural. so let's say that e reaches her point of truth: the man in the red suit is a sham. she moves on and continues to celebrate the season. somewhere down the line, years later, she's going to have to sort out her other beliefs. she's going to have to spend some time wrestling with God. and on her own, she's going to have to decide if she believes in Him.

as she does this, is there a chance that the intertwined initial experience of the "unseen" and "faith" and the mystery of what our human minds can't totally wrap themselves around become clouded? is there a chance that her disappointment in the santa dude somehow impacts her ability to grasp the truth of a saviour sent to the world as an infant? is it possible that because one is a lie, the other begins to feel suspicious too?

i don't know. each person wrestles with belief differently. but if there is a chance (even a teeny tiny chance) that the fairy tale of santa begins to cloud the truth of a risen saviour, then that's a chance that i'm not willing to take.

you see, my ultimate goal is train her in the way that she will go with the hope that she will not depart from it. i long for my baby girl (s) to seek a relationship with Father God and i don't want to get in the way of that.

santa is cool. he's fun. he makes little kids attempt to behave better during the holiday season. but what he doesn't do is point them to Christ.

and so as for me and my family, we decided to just leave him out of it all together (along with that bunny that hops along dolling out treats in baskets). my kids still love Christmas. they adore Easter. and so far, it hasn't had any form of negative impact on their lives.

and as i said, this is our answer. yours may look differently and that is wonderful. what isn't wonderful though is going through the motions without thinking it through. ans so here is my challenge... you knew this coming, right?

i challenge you and yours to be intentional about what you do. embrace whatever traditions that you think are good and don't let anyone else impose their judgment upon what you decide. and then pray. pray that God will make His birth and His death meaningful in the lives of your babies. pray that they will seek Him. pray that you will have the tools to equip them. and pray that they will embark on a life journey with Him.

and then live it out. openly show them what your relationship with the Father looks like. own your mistakes (man, i have to do this a lot) and share your encounters with the Living God.

***oh, and as an aside, a friend of mine gave me the best way to equip your non-santa believing kiddos refrain from dispelling the myth for their friends... we tell them who st. nick was, and then tell them that if they want to "pretend to believe" they can. the funny thing is, they love being in the know. sure, they wanted to sit on the dude's lap at playgroup and at a holiday party we attended, but they loved whispering to scott and i that they knew he wasn't real. it actually made e feel special to "in the know" about the guy that she doesn't really understand anyway. (she's spent a lot of time trying to picture reindeer flying. smile.) it also all happens to be true- which is important to me in my relationship with my girls.

do you like it?

"i like it, momma! i like it! buggy lick the beaters?"

the bees knees

i mean seriously, have you ever seen a more adorable dimpled knee?

and check out those kankles!

the gift that kept on giving

back in october i was the winner of the mops door prize. i was rather jazzed to be the recipient of a $50 gift certificate to a local spa. i can't think of a better way to try and remain relaxed during this hectic season of our lives (remember that we are in the middle of this?)! and so this week, off to the spa i went. i usually am all about the massage, but this time i decided to spice it up a little. i went for the caribbean hydrating something-or-other... basically they sand papered me down with scratchy gloves and then applied a crazy seaweed masque and super moisturizing lotion treatment. (it was great, but next time i'm sticking with the massage. no need to switch up an already good thing.)

man, my stories are long. i drive myself crazy- kudos to ya'll for sticking with me here.

at the end of the treatment the gal gave me a gift bag (and a $10 gift card to come again and a $10 gift card for referring scott to get a haircut there... all for redeeming my prize???) anyways, gift bags always leave me feeling unsettled. on one hand, i love to get free stuff. on the other hand, i feel like it is pretty stinkin' wasteful. half of the time you open the bag to discover a lipstick color that was popular in 1986, a sample of shampoo for someone with thin hair (when i have thick), a curling pomade (when i already have naturally curly hair)... you get the picture. it usually end up to be a whole lotta waste. and then it makes me feel bad for being wasteful. so what started out as a free bag jackpot easily turns into a guilt evoking pile of junk that you now have to try to get rid of.

ahhh, but my dear friends at aveda, they totally figured it out. when i arrived home and examined my prize, well, i was in free bag jackpot heaven! thank you aveda. kudos to you and your little gift. i will use it for years to come.

check it out! what you see above is a travel bag (made out of recycled materials). it contains 4 refillable bottles (perfectly sized for my friends at the tsa), one fillable tub and one spray bottle. it also contains stickers to label your bottles. when you remove the green cardboard sleeve (the one above that says fill-ables) the backside contains all sorts of earth friendly travel tips.

hooray aveda! you seem to be one of the few companies out there in touch with the wants/needs of your consumer and are trying to be innovative in how you are doing things.

i'd also like to point out that while aveda products don't eliminate all of the ingredients that i try to avoid, it is the only salon product that i have found that eliminates most of the ingredients that i try to avoid. for me, that is huge!

intoxicating

i just can't get enough of this girl. her giggle makes my heart swell (and it helps me forget that i am suddenly getting up to feed her 3-4 times each night). what can i say, her dimples and her sweet laugh are good for this momma's soul... and it seems like her big sister likes it too!

and i can't promise that i won't post 100 more "poppy giggling" videos. i like 'em that much!

* note, to view this you need to go to the actual blog address and have to pause the music player on the bottom right. happy viewing.

favorites

ok, so my last post was centered around a song... and it got me thinking. (see, i told you i was impacted by music!)

when i was a little girl we went to church at grace chapel in skanetlas, ny. every Christmas they had the usual children's performance. you know, the one where one kid got to be mary, one got to be joseph and a bunch of others had to be things like sheep? it was always so much fun. i'm sure i was in it more than once, but i only remember being an angel one year. at the end of the performance our pastor's eldest daughter would sing the gift goes on by sandy patti. all of us kids would gather around her feet on stage and join her in singing the chorus. i can remember it as if it were yesterday. i loved it. she had such a pretty voice and i longed to be her one day, singing the lead with a group of kids at my feet joining me in the chorus. (that little dream didn't take into account that i can't sing and have a pretty terrible voice, but a girl can dream can't she?)

anywho, to date, it is my favorite Christmas song. (second runner up is i believe in santa claus by kenny rogers and dolly parton, if you must know!)

what's your favorite Christmas song?

lonely

the depth of your dreams, the height of your wishes
the length of your vision to see, the hope of your heart
is much bigger than this
for it's made out of what might be

now picture your hope- your hearts desire
as a castle that you must keep
in all of its splendor, it's drafty with lonely
this heart is too hard to heat

when i get lonely, well, it's only a sign
some room is empty and that room is there by design
if i feel hollow, it's my proof that there's more
for me to follow. that's what the lonely is for.

is it a curse or a blessing this palace of promise
when the empty chill makes you weep
with only the thin fire of romance to warm you
these halls are too tall and deep

but you can seal up the pain, build wall in these hallways
close off a small room to live in
but those walls will remain, and keep you there always
and you'll never know why you were given... why you were given the lonely

some room is empty
if i feel hollow, it's just my proof that there's more
for me to follow, that's what the lonely is for

from the depth of your dreams, to the height of your wishes
the length of your vision to see, the hope of your heart is much
bigger than this
for it's made out of what might be


this amazing folk singer came to my high school way back when. i fell in love with his lyrics. if you've been following my blog for a while then it should come as no surprise for me to say that i am deeply impacted by music. it is often the compass of my heart. sometimes a song will tap into emotions that linger under the surface and cause those emotions to stir me.

this week has been a hard one for me. nothing to note has happened, it's just that the lonely has kind of settled in. i guess that is bound to happen given the circumstances. but it took me off guard.

a sadness has swirled around me and i long to click my heels and be back in my home on the range (you know, the one in la grange).

and then i was listening to my itunes and this song came up on the play list. i haven't listened to it in a while. it's by that folksy guy that came to my high school, the same guy i saw in a small concert with some of my favorite friends last fall in chicago, david wilcox. when i first heard it, it didn't resonate with me at all. but for some reason, i downloaded it and added it to my play list.

that "some reason" turns out to be today.

so as i sit here lonely, wondering why in the world we left it all behind, i find these lyrics resting peacefully on my heart.

i have no desire to ever "close off a small room to live in". so today, i'm going to rest in the fact that "some room is empty and it's there by design" (hmm.. sweet Jesus, reveal that empty room to me) and i'm going to let it be my "proof that there's more for me to follow" (HIM).

you see, we didn't end up here on a whim. this process was one that was deeply routed in prayer. with each step, God whispered to us to walk through the next open door. He never promised us anything. He just kept telling us to take the next steps. i know i've written about all of this before, but it is a good reminder to this lonely heart that God brought us here for His plan. and that the lonely will guide me so long as i don't linger in the lonely and so long as i cling to Him. because, let' face it, He has a much greater "vision to see".

underneath the mistletoe last night

a few years ago i was on the phone with my sister when she discovered that my nephew had rolled all the way across the room and under a chest. we laughed and then this first time mom questioned how that could happen, ya know, if she was "watching" him. (i'd yet to experience a roller.)

today, i learned how it happens... man those rollers are fast! while on the phone (with my sister) i discovered poppy... apparently she has the whole mistletoe thing a little confused. she rolled completely across the family room, right up to the tree and was smooching with an ornament.

oh, and had drool dripping off her chin. and i must admit, i thought she was so scrumptious that i had to go in for a smooch myself. yep, with drool and all.

got milk?

i've never really wanted to know much about where my food comes from. ever since my short stint as a vegetarian in high school, i have been pretty sure that if i looked into i'd probably have issues with being a carnivore. ignorance is bliss, right?

a few weekends ago i finally sat down and watched food inc.. wow! if you haven't seen it... i am not even sure i would recommend it (i mean- rent it now). it did exactly what i thought it would. it confirmed all the reasons that i am suspicious of mainstream grocery stores, it supported why i care so much about eating organic, and it created a whole new heap of problems for me. it also made me start to have some serious questions about fellow consumers.


i made it a point to speak to the butcher in several of the "mainstream" grocery stores that i have been checking out. it was interesting! the overall conclusion was that they have tried to sell more organic beef, chicken, pork, etc but that it doesn't sell. more than one butcher said that it is too expensive and that the average consumer isn't interested.


isn't interested? after i picked my jaw up off of the floor i gave some serious thought to that. in the middle of a health care crisis nationwide, we consumers, ought to make it our business to be more interested. we are only hurting ourselves if we don't make it our business to connect the dots between what the animals we eat ingests and our own personal health. it is a scary thought to realize that "the average consumer" (assuming the butcher is right with his analysis) doesn't care about this.


a few weeks ago, our family visited some local relatives up near sacramento (i should insert that we had an awesome time and that they were way generous and made our crazy family feel very much at home). across the street from their house is a dairy farm. ahhh... the heart of america.


when i think of a dairy farm, my mental picture and reality aren't really in sinc. and while it was fun for the kids to see the cows, it made this momma kind of insane. the cows were packed into small fenced in "cages" if you will. there wasn't a blade of grass in sight. in fact, the bottom of the area was covered in cow dung. no joke, they were standing ankle deep in their own feces and the feces of their cell mates. it was foul.

it even made the kids a little bit uncomfortable.

as it should. we should all be uncomfortable that the food we eat is raised in such filth. we should also be uncomfortable with the fact that our food is pumped with corn, antibiotics and junk to fatten it up. and once again, we should connect the dots. is it any wonder that we are becoming more and more resistant to antibiotics?

so many people that i know say that they can't afford to eat organic foods. and while i recognize the huge impact that eating organic has on the family budget, and while i am not here to judge your personal values, i wish more people would think about the challenges that we face if we don't start "voting with our dollars". i believe that if more and more people rejected the "food" that is offered to us in our local groceries, we would begin to see a shift in the way that farmers farm.

i hate blogging about such political topics, but in this climate (where health care is about to change in a dramatic way) i believe we can't afford to not address this issue. certainly, what we eat and the health of our bodies are very much connected.

and i'm not even addressing the cruelty factor...

seriously, this just isn't right? now, every time i see a glass of milk my mind is flooded by the image of cow dung. i know that it isn't in the milk, but isn't there a better way? won't you join me in making it our business to care where our food comes from?

hurry, hurry call the fireman...

i've been thinking a great deal lately about advent. up until this year, we haven't really done anything to conceptualize Christmas into the expanding mind of our five and almost two year old. sure, we sing Christmas carols, we talk about baby Jesus, we deck the halls, we go to church, and we don't focus on the big man in the red suit. but i think there is so much more to do.


i've just had some trouble getting started. and i want it to be special... i want to capture the beauty of Father God sending His Son into the world to be flesh. i want to make real meaning out of the sacrifice that He gave us. i want it to linger in their minds for months to come, so that when we celebrate the Son of God dying for our sins in a few months from now, they cling to how HUGE that is.

and so this year i am being more intentional. we set out advent candles... that have been questioned by several visitors into our home. we have 8, not 4. it looks a little strange, but i decided that i couldn't deal with the fighting that would ensue so i gave each girl their own set. every sunday evening the girls light their candles and then sit on the couch. they listen to the message version of the Christmas story (a cd given to them by a friend of mine last Christmas). ellie reads along in the book and d bops around causing mischief. she usually grabs a doll out of the toy bin and says, "baby Jesus, momma!" e is getting really good with the book- she is identifying words that she knows and is intent on knowing when to turn the page without any help.

at the end of the book we sing a few Christmas songs. the girls don't really know the words, and truth be told are just plain old ready for bed. at the end of the weekend it is usually a chaotic experience. after they sing, they blow out their candles. this weekend, while blowing out her candles, d lit her hair on fire. e thought that her sister with crispy fried strands of baby fine hair was a huge hoot (as did her momma and daddy). by the end of it, each week, scott and i are ready for our girlies to be in bed.

i've given some thought about throwing in the towel and trying again when they are older, but i think that is way off track. you see, although they are little, it is sinking in. we are starting traditions that route this holiday in Christ. and that is what it is about.

in a chat about santa this week with e's teacher she made an interesting statement... when i told her we didn't really emphasize santa she said, "are you Christian?" why yes, we are. however, last time i checked Jesus was the reason we celebrate CHRISTmas. santa was just a guy that came along several hundred years later (in a european country that is disputed) and was a generous dude. he just didn't happen to be the Son of God, born to a virgin, to bring God's love to the world in flesh, to save us from our sins, to offer us eternal life... (i didn't say all of that, in those words) but was a little taken aback.

and so we are going to continue our new advent ritual and i'm already thinking about new things that i can add next year. because for me, it is pretty important that my girls get the right message about this season.

any suggestions? you all sure are a quiet bunch of readers, but i'm pretty sure you have pretty wonderful ideas. do share!

train up a child in the way he should go, and he will not depart from it. (proverbs 22:6)

anyone for hummus?

don't mind if "i do"...

smitten

a year ago at this exact time, i couldn't imagine life with a third baby. now, i can't imagine life without her. poppy has captured my heart.

somehow (yet again) i missed her 4 month "birthday". and so here, just a few weeks late is an update on our little penelope.



at 4 months: you have woken up! you are no longer a sleepy infant. you have three naps throughout the day and spend the rest of your time giggling at your momma and daddy, staring in awe at big sister ellie, and trying your hardest to keep track of big sister delaney. you are beginning to hold onto toys, but can drop them and forget about them in an instant. you spend a lot of your day rolling onto your tummy and yes... you have found your toes.

you hold onto them a lot, but are sometimes just as happy to hold onto the cuff of your pants. your not picky! you'll take either.

at nighttime we have made some big changes. you are now sleeping in your own room in your own bed. you go to bed at 8pm and you sleep for 3-4 hour stretches. mommy is a little tired, but you are much more well rested now that you are out of the moses basket and into your own digs. secretly, mommy misses having you right next to my bed. i liked to gaze at you sleeping and i also liked sleeping with you in my arms (but my arms were getting really sore and you were waking up way too easily). we're both better off with our new arrangement.

in month three you survived swine flu. it was a little scary for mommy and daddy. you had a high fever and a pretty bad cough. we wished we could make things easier on you, but since you are so little there wasn't much we could do except keep a close watch on you. each day we had to give you saline- you did not like that too much. the best way to help keep you comfortable was to hold you and give your legs little massages. you really enjoyed that and it helped you relax. we were so thankful that you were only sick for a few days and you recovered without any problems.

in month three you also decided to reject the bottle. mommy was so happy that you would take it so easily when you were younger, but just as easily as you took it- you rejected it. currently you are on strike.

we all love you so much little poppy. ellie is especially delighted by you. she lays in bed with momma in the morning while i feed you. she strokes the back of your head and you "talk" to her after you eat. daddy has been getting full belly giggles from you these days. he likes to hold you in front of the mirror and you laugh your head off at the sight of yourself and your daddy in the mirror. mommy wishes that she could stop time. i know that watching you grow will be delightful, but right now, i want to stop the clock and just keep you little for as long as i can. what can i say, i'm smitten.

pinks my favorite color

watch this!

i saw this recently and think it is a pretty good reminder based on "new" (bunk) recommendations.

i had my scare last summer. i have a friend of a friend going through chemo/radiation as we speak. i have a friend who lost their mother. i have an aunt who lives to tell about it. maybe cautious isn't such a bad idea after all, eh?

blessed with injustice?

last sunday our church cancelled the service. yep. you read that right. they canceled church and instead of worshiping in the sanctuary in the traditional format, we worshiped by serving the community. they set up tons of different service projects and each individual chose how they wanted to spend their time serving the community. this clearly took weeks and weeks to organize. as soon as i heard about it i began to feel very much at home in our new church. it reminded me of my days in the city and being part of a church that desired to look more like the image of Jesus than the image of the local country club.

this sunday was a celebration sunday. the music was phenomenal, the stories and pictures shared were moving and it left you with an overall "warm fuzzy" feeling to seek out more ways in which we can serve our community on a regular basis... you know, without the big production of canceling church. i'm not sure how that translates for me, but i know it must translate.

at the end of the service, our pastor shared the following prayer with us. man, does this sum up a really beautiful (and yet very uncomfortable) way to live! after hearing it on sunday, i haven't been able to get it out of my head. and so of course, i thought i'd share:

franciscan prayer:
may God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

may God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.

may God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them, and turn their pain into joy.

and may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

amen

pretty good stuff, huh? can we pray like that? do we dare ask Jesus to make our lives a little bit uncomfortable? i think some powerful stuff could happen in our world, and more importantly, in our hearts if we were to dare to ask to be blessed in this way.