pops

for the last ten years, the buse and i have been putting pops to bed with a prayer and a song.  every.  single.  night.

the older two had similar routines but started rejecting the song somewhere around kinder.  pops, held out strong.  she wanted the song.

on most nights, it's jesus loves me.  some nights it's a song about the old crow and other nights it's a bubbles song from the gymboree days.  occasionally we throw in a song about noah or the three jolly fishermen...  but if she has her pick, it's jesus loves me.

pops is my youngest.  the baby.  she likes her role.  i like her role. her sisters give me a hard time for letting her be a baby for so long.  as her mom, i am also aware that i have a role in helping to nudge her out of the nest when her inclination is to huddle down in.  ultimately, i want her to grow up and be strong and empowered and confident.  sometimes you have to give them the push- even when you just want to keep them snug as a bug and safe in the comfort of your own arms.

the nightly tuck-tuck with pops was starting to get out of hand.  we'd send her to get ready for bed and tell her we'd be up in five.  five minutes later we would get upstairs for the singing and the praying.  she would be barely ready.  twenty minutes later she'd be situated in bed for the tuck routine.  it was getting exhausting.  we tried to crack down and she got better.  eventually the twenty minute delay became a ten minute delay or on a good day, five.  and then it went backwards. we had a chat with her about her timeline and attention to directions and procrastination techniques...  we also told her that we were omitting the song.

she nearly lost it.

in an effort to prep her, we told her that part of the reason was because of time constraints and that the other part was that she was getting a little old for the toddler bedtime routine.  we gave her six months.  at ten, we were going to drop the singing.  we'd still tuck.  we'd still pray.  but momma and daddy were wrapping up their vocal careers and retiring the song.

my heart broke a little bit.  but as i said, this was a "nudge from the nest" moment.  the time had come.

last night was the last night of her ninth year.  we sang all the songs.  all of them.  not just one.  not just bubbles or jesus loves me...  but a sampling of the favorites from the years of singing.  we giggled and snuggled and loved every minute.

today she is ten.  double digits.  the end of my nightclub tuck-tuck singing gig.

at ten, my girl is still as silly as ever.  she has the greatest group of friends that a momma could hope for, loves swimming and lacrosse and dancing, hates most fruits, refuses to try juice of any sorts, is still as finicky as ever about how her clothing feels, continues to rock the uggs nearly year round, has an artistic passion for clay making. she spends way too many hours a day on her iPad, has the kindest heart towards friend and stranger alike (literally- she nearly cried the other day when on an outing and ran across a homeless man- asking me for whatever money i had on hand to give him), loves to snuggle, loves to read but not when forced upon her, is willing to try new things on her own terms (she surfed for the first time this summer and rocked out a swim with sea turtles- not sure she would have done that a year ago...). she is careful in her decision making process and evaluates all the angles, and has developed a strong passion for soccer (trying out for competitive soccer this season and playing goalie for the first time). she still sometimes hides behind my leg around strangers and loves her sisters and daddy fiercely.  i could not be more proud of her and can hardly believe that my "baby" is about to start the fifth grade.

happy birthday, baby bird.  momma's not ready for all of this growing up!