national food day

last week i kept seeing all these posts on facebook about national food day.  in case you are wondering, it was yesterday.  i had no idea that we had such a day.  i also had no idea what national food day was supposed to be about.  considering that there the federal government has been linked to supporting monsanto, i was pretty certain that i didn't want to participated in anything dealing with food and the government.  but that's just me.

but i must say, i did think about it quite a bit over the course of the day yesterday.  i kept meaning to look it up but never got around to it as i was on the go for the better part of the day.  i had my guess as to what it was probably all about, and then i had my hopes for what i wanted it to be all about. 

food is sort of something i am passionate about.  that is a two part statement.  first, i love me some good eats.  i am a huge supporter of  eating real food that is absent of pesticides, preservatives, and all the other junk that tends to try to creep its way into items we call "food".  don't get me wrong- i am not always the best decision maker when it comes to food.  i love a good old in-and-out burger from time to time, complete with an order of fries.  but on a daily basis, i try to give my family a home cooked meal that is fresh, balanced and not pre-packaged.  i watch way too much food network, have more recipes bookmarked from epicurious than i can count, and am on always on the hunt for the newest sustainable and organic restaurant openings in the bay area.

the second part of the statement above refers to my passion for all people to have food.  i find it disturbing that there are so many people around the world that don't have food.  when you look into the average american's pantry, it's hard to believe that is true.  but just outside our front doors there are an abundance of people- real live people with beating hearts- who don't have something to put on the table for their family.  while you and i are struggling with what to take out of the freezer or which take-out option is best, there are tons of people out there with a different struggle.  they are less concerned with whether or not food is "real" and more concerned with having some.  we can talk about the people in africa or the people china facing this issue on a daily basis.  and we should be concerned about those people.  however, i think that sometimes we talk about the people that live far away as a distraction method to avoid the fact that we have the same problem in our very own back yards.  you can go to any main st. (yes- even in the 94566) and find people who don't have food.  we don't like to think about that.  it makes us uncomfortable as we scrape our plates into our disposals and flip the switch.  it sort of collides with grocery day when we toss those containers of spoiled leftovers that have been taking up real estate in our refrigerators.  somehow, when it's in our own back yard, we are eye to eye with a problem.  we get to choose.  do we do something about the problem or just pretend it doesn't exist?  ick.  and as grocery bills get higher and higher each month, we tend to want to avoid the problem even more.  because suddenly, our middle class pocket books are starting to hurt a bit too.  this food issue that once was someone else's problem is starting to encroach on my property line, so to speak.

and so for food day, i made a decision. not knowing what in the blazes food day was supposed to be about, for us it was going to be about appreciating the food that we have.  it was going to be a day where we changed our behavior and stopped being piggies with leftover containers that end up getting tossed in the trash.  it was going to be a day where we turned from wasting food to a family that appreciates the food on our table.   while it would certainly be a far cry from saving the world, we were going to have an "everything but the kitchen sink" dinner.  i rescued leftovers from their inevitable fate in the city compost pile and gave them to my family. 

it was shocking to see what i turned up in the spirit of trying to teach my family to have a "least of these" mentality.  we had prosciutto stuffed dates with blue cheese, pulled pork, grilled tri-tip, edamame, smashed potatoes with pancetta and gorganzola...  not so much a dinner for paupers, eh?  but sadly, it opened my eyes. 

i'm not sure what i am going to do about it, but it triggered a need within me.  somehow, i need to show my kids a world that their suburban eyes rarely see.  i need to show them how to step outside of themselves.  i need to give them experiences where they help those who don't have enough.  i need to get them eye to eye with hunger. 

this was such a part of my life before kids, but it has somehow faded into the background of my daily life.  for fear of their safety (as if all hungry people are knife wielding villains) i have kept them protected from this reality that exists right in my back yard. 

so stay tuned.  i see something on the horizon for our little family.  i don't know what it looks like right now, but i do know that something must be done.

posts like this scare me a little bit because it sort of forces me out of my cozy little bubble.  but i think they are good.  they hold me accountable and keep a record of my passion.  now, it's up to me to put my money where my mouth is. 

wiggle

i have been a stay at home mom now for a little over 5 years.  my job description has stayed pretty much the same for the better part of those five years.  i have been boo boo kisser, laundry washer, breakfast maker, playdate coordinator, fight ender, bed tucker-inner, story reader, nose wiper, bum cleaner, dance party mixer, grocery shopper, car pooler...  and the list goes on. 

and on.

and on.

more recently i have added preschool co-op helper and homework harasser to the list. 

but for the better part of the last year, e and i have been hoping for a duty to be added to my list.  in fact,it started almost one year ago at this exact time.  look closely at the snap below...  can you tell what i am? 

how about here?

yep.  a year ago i started dressing the part to practice for the job that e and i were seeking to add to my current list of duties.  e got her first wiggle on the bottom fronts at that time.  and then they just hung out there.  thrice she has pleaded with our dentist to remove them for her.  thrice he has told her that she has to get them out herself. 

so you can imagine her joy when one of the two was ready to be extracted by her dad.  a tiny pull and voila...  i became the tooth fairy. 

and e... 

well, she went to sleep on time for the first time in months.  smile.

this fairy gig is tough work, but i am happy to add it to my list. 

sick day

e has missed around 5 days of school in her lifetime (including preschool and elementary).  on each of those missed days, she was down for the count...  sick.  to date she has also never missed school for a non-sick day (ie vacation, company, a family activity etc.).  so you can imagine her surprise on friday morning when i told her that she was not going to be going to school. 

let me back up for a moment.  d had been sick on the couch for the better part of the week.  she had been up for two of those nights coughing up a lung with a sore throat and has had no voice now for two days.  on thursday night, p began to cough up a lung and spent the entire night nestled in my bed between scott and i.  e had was also showing signs of an approaching sickness with a little runny nose.

so when my alarm went off on friday morning, i just turned it off and watched my p sleep.  it was one of those momma moments where you fall in love with your (not so much a...) baby (anymore).  (seriously- i'm going to be calling her my baby until she's 42.)  she was peaceful and snugly and not coughing.  a few moments post alarm, e appeared at the side of my bed. 

"mom, aren't you going to wake me up?"

"no.  go back to bed and get some rest.  you're sick."

"i'm not sick mom.  i feel fine."

"no e.  you're sick.  we need more rest."

at that she rolled her eyes, smiled and announced she was going to be in bed reading.

we all got out of bed about 40 minutes later and stayed in our pj's until noon.  we watched judy moody and the not bummer summer on on-demand.  i set up a nail salon in the kitchen and gave the girls pedi's.  we had a dance party.  and we played hair salon. 

if you want to make an appointment, i can give you the stylists number.  scrunchies on your knees?  olivia newton john headbands?  i mean this is the best salon ever!

by the end of the day everyone seemed to be on the mend.  fevers were broken.  voices had returned.  tissues were no longer flying out of the wall box... 

what?  you don't have a tissue dispenser built into your bathroom walls?  (i couldn't resist.  i mean when was i ever going to work my uber cool 60's design element into a blog post?  exactly.)

and you should have heard the conversation that e had with her dad when he arrived home from work.

"dad, you will never believe this!  mom made me stay home from school today and i wasn't even sick!"

love at third sight (part 1)

i should change the title of my blog to something like "diary of a lyric addict" or something like that.  i know.  i'm a dork.  but songs speak to me and inspire me and get my brain digging deeper.  for some reason, song lyrics tend to illuminate the bigger picture for me.

moving on...

recently, i was asked the question if i believed in love at first sight. 

the realist and feminist in me says that there is no such thing.  love doesn't work like that and if it does it is only temporary.  how can a first sight visual get you through life?  how can a glimpse in one direction and eyes locking at their first meeting go the distance?  it's hard for me to say "yes" to that.

the romantic in me says maybe.  i mean it would be nice and everything but it feels like it is a little far fetched and more of a fairytale.  it would be cool but it doesn't really happen like that very often and the fairytale usually ends at the alter not at the 50th wedding anniversary.  maybe i would be more of a believer if there was a cinderella part deaux...  maybe they could show good old cinderella (played by betty white) throwing a ball to help their grandson find his love.  the party could start out with grandma cindy dancing with prince not quite as charming (played by sean connery).  toasts could be given by the people in the town and then the new prince (maybe beiber would be a good fit?) could begin the search for his own cinderella.  nice in theory.  but it isn't exactly real.

the Christ follower in me says "yes".  i recently was reminded (through a message at church) that jacob fell in love with rachel at first sight.

but as for me...  i fell in love with my hubs with the help of tweety bird...  at third sight.

first sight:
scott and i met in a bar.  i used to feel icky saying that.  but it is part of my story and no matter how you spin it, it is the truth.  a bunch of my friends were in town and we were all hanging out at fado in buckhead. the girls and i were chatting as two guys approached us.  they introduced themselves, made some small talk and then one of them asked for my number.  i had never given out my number to a stranger in a bar.  i wasn't sure what to do, but there was something inside me that said "do it".  and so i did.

the guy called me a few days later and asked me on a date.  he wanted to take me out to dinner.  logic told me that this was a bad idea.  girls who go out with people they don't know end up on the 10 o'clock news not on the last page of a fairytale book (and let's be honest, i'm not much of a fan of fairytales).  but again, there was something inside me that said "do it".  in an effort to avoid that news story ending to my life i made plans to meet him at the restaurant, let a few friends know where i was going and was sure to go straight home after dinner.

second sight:
we had a good time.  he was funny, smart, and such a gentleman.  conversation between us was easy and we had a lot in common.  and when he talked about something we didn't have in common, i found him to be intriguing. 

we talked on the phone a bit over the next few weeks.  if i remember correctly, he was going out of town the following week and then i was out of town the weekend after that.  those phone conversations were fun.  i remember them as being long and filled with laughter.  i remember hanging up the phone each time with a smile on my face and feeling joy as i learned new things about this person.  it was exciting and fun and refreshing. 

third sight:
on our second date, he took me to this cool restaurant where i had the most delicious pasta that i have ever had.  i can close my eyes to this date and remember that dish.  in fact, i have spent a great deal of time trying to recreate the recipe because it was that good.  but as usual, i digress.  after dinner he took me to the fox theatre to see les miserables.  yes.  you read that correctly.  who was this guy and where did he come from? 

as we sat in the theatre waiting for the show to begin, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a tweety bird pez dispenser.  putting his thumb on the top of tweety's head, he cocked it backwards, looked at me and offered me a pez. 

i fell in love. 

9 years ago this week, that guy and i hung out in aruba celebrating our marriage and relaxing.  it was bliss. 

in august, that guy and i snuck away on a one night adventure to tomales bay.  when we got into the car, he popped in a "mix tape" (ok it wasn't actually a mix tape)...  this song was in the compilation: 

forever can never be long enough for me
to feel like i've had long enough with you
forget the world now, we won't let them see
but there's one thing left to do

now that the weight has lifted
love has surly shifted my way

marry me
today and every day
marry me
if i ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe

say you will
say you will

together can never be close enough for me
to feel like i'm close enough to you
you wear white and i'll wear out the words i love you
and you're beautiful

now that the wait is over
and love has finally showed her my way

marry me
today and every day
marry me
if i ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe

say you will
say you will

promise me you'll always be
happy by my side
i promise to sing to you
when all the music dies

and marry me
today and every day
marry me
if i ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe

say you will
say you will
marry me

it reminded me of how we met.  it reminded me of how much i love him.  it reminded me that our marriage commitment isn't just a choice made once, but one we make each day. 

and so happy 9 years, my sweet husband.  thanks for getting up the nerve to say hello. 

times 3

ok, so now that you've seen p's first haircut snaps i can tell you the rest of the story.

when we walked into the salon the owner and head stylist pulled me to the side and asked if there was any way she could cut delaney's hair.  d is a wee bit hair challenged at this point in time.  her hair is fine and quite thin.  it is a work in progress but our progress was slightly imposed upon at the moment d decided that she wanted to grow her hair out like repunzel.  um...  ok.  me trying to explain to a three year old that you have to cut in order to grow wasn't quite as successful as i had hoped it would be.  and so d declared that she was not in fact EVER going to cut her hair again.  she would dance around her room in her repunzel wig and imagine the day that her real hair reached its goal. 

anywho- when offered with help in getting d into the haircut chair, i happily accepted.  although i must admit i had some momma guilt.  you see here we were at p's first haircut and somehow the moment wasn't going to be quite as pure.  instead of having something being about her with both of her sisters watching, it was turning into a shared moment. 

but d REALLY needed a haircut.

within moments of d being offered a cut, she was climbing up into the chair.  i have no idea what the stylist offered her but whatever it was it worked.  before i could turn around another stylist offered to do a special braid and some curls in e's hair so that she wouldn't be left out. 

yikes.  somehow a moment that was for p wasn't that at all.  not in any way.  it was three girls getting styled and trimmed and glitterized (seriously, they all still have traces of glitter on their scalps). 

it saddened me for a few minutes and then i went on with the business of tending to the girls.  when we left the salon, scott made them all pose outside together (above picture).

it's funny.  when i went back and looked at my photographs to post p's first haircut, i fell in love with this picture of my three girls.  you see, here i was, trying to create a moment for p.  that's a good thing.  knowing the woes of third child (my baby book says that i potty trained at 5 and ate solid food at 2...  i have a complex here people), i wanted to carve out a moment that was all hers.  however, when i looked at that picture of the three of them, i realized that there will be a lifetime of moments that are all hers.  as people, we tend to do that rather naturally.  we can take a moment and turn it into a "me moment" in the blink of an eye.  but as the mom of these three little ladies, i have a responsibility to help them create sister moments.  i can empower them to share.  i can train them to seek moments where they can celebrate one another rather than just themselves.  i don't know how that translates in each of their lives, but i sure hope it evolves into women who seek to be in relationship with one another.  i hope it promotes a mentality that lifts others up rather than one that longs to be at the top themselves.  i pray that they learn the value of going deeper with people and coming alongside others.  i desire that they engage in community and embrace people. 

i know that is a long stretch from sharing a first haircut day.  but all movements have to start somewhere.  this is the movement i hope i am starting for them and i am thankful for a shared experience to help me really see the value in promoting the "sisterhood" rather than promoting the "me".

 

just look at their faces.  in that shared moment, each one shines just as they are.  their uniqueness that is displayed in their expressions contribute to the beauty of the picture as a whole. 

snip snip

it recently dawned on me that p had never had a haircut.  things like this slip by me from time to time.  call it third child denial syndrome...  she couldn't possible be old enough to need a haircut, right?  call it negligent momma...  either one might be fitting in this case.  anyway, sometime in august i realized that d couldn't see.  i also realized that my husband had never attended the "first haircut" experience.  i thought i might offer it up to him and see if he was interested in attending this event in the life of p.  he did.  unfortunately, that meant that we would have to wait a few weeks for a saturday appointment.  a wait that was well worth it- as an involved daddy is priceless in the eyes of this momma. 

after several weeks of waiting, our appointment day arrived.  p was delighted to discover that this time the trip to the salon was for HER.  when i asked her where she was going, she joyfully replied, "to my haircut!"

she carefully chose her chair and then adopted her business face.  she took the job of "haircut client" rather seriously.  she listened well.  she sat still.  she kept her chin down... you get the picture.

and there you have it:  p's first haircut. 

isn't she delish?

pops

these snaps make me feel way less guilty about my 4 lb tub of red vines...  that i told my small group i was going to share with them...  and then didn't.  but how can you feel bad about consuming 4 lbs. of red vines with your girls when you see these photos?  you can't.  i don't. while my waistline is appalled, my heart is really happy.  for if i didn't eat all of above mentioned red vines then my sweet p would not have this beautiful bug box to house her cricket friend.   

a joke and a photo

a joke:
i am a terrible joke teller.  i mess up the story.  i forget the punch line.  it all goes bad.

when i was in college i interviewed at a local sports bar for a waitressing position.  the interview was going really well.  the manager who was interviewing me told me he was pretty sure that he was going to hire me but that he had one more question.  he then asked me to tell him a joke. 

uh oh.

this is the joke that i told him: 

three guys were down on their luck, walking down a country road.  as it started to get dark they began to think about where they could stay for the night.  seeing a barn off in the distance, the first guy suggested they hide in the barn for the night.  the other two guys, not having any better ideas agreed this was a good plan.  they headed off through some orchards towards the barn and made beds in the hay loft.  early the next the morning the farmer went into the barn to tend to the animals.  much to the three guys dismay, they were discovered by the farmer who was not really happy.  the three guys tried to convince the farmer that they were sorry and that they would do anything to keep the farmer from turning them into the local police.  the farmer took the bait.  he told the three guys that to make up for it, they had to go out into the fields and pick a bushel of any crop that they wanted to.  the three guys grabbed their bushel baskets and headed off in different directions to pick the crop of their choice.  after some time, the first guy headed back to the barn with his full bushel basket of peaches and handed them to the farmer.  the farmer instructed the man to drop his pants and bend over.  he then poured the bushel basket of peaches onto the guys hind side.  the guy was moaning in pain and rather embarrassed.  after he pulled up his pants he took a seat on a bail of hay.  a few minutes later, the second guy came into the barn with his bushel basket of apples.  the farmer instructed him to do the same as the first guy.  while the apples were dumped on the second guys tush, he screamed out in pain.  after he gained composure he took a seat on the hay bail next to his friend.  suddenly the two guys burst out in laughter.  they were giggling and hee hawing.  this angered the farmer. 

"what are you laughing about?  this is not supposed to be funny! tell me why you are laughing!" the infuriated farmer demanded.

between gut grabbing laughs, the two men blurted out, "the third guys picking watermelons".


i did not get the job.

and a photo...

i usually share more each summer about my garden.  earlier this year i showed you my plot of hope in my backyard.  and then summer got underway and i lost track of time and meandered away from writing for a little bit.  but i wanted to share a bit about my little garden.  it yielded cucumbers, tomatoes, carrots, radishes, eggplants, a small handful of strawberries, some squash, lettuce, onions, potatoes, and some peppers that are somehow just now ripening. 

oh. 

and some mini watermelons.  aren't they cute?

yum.

i was born and raised a yankee fan

just in case you were wondering where the buser girls stood on this issue. 

sorry, dad.  

go bradley!

almost exactly 4 years ago scott and i began taking bradley classes for the birth of d.  we figured that since simply wanting a natural birth didn't quite work out the first time (i was begging for drugs after a few hours of having my water broken), we wanted to be more prepared. 

the classes cost around $400.  the babysitter for e was $40 for 8 weeks.  if you do the math, that was a $720 investment to choose pain.

i've been thinking about that investment a lot lately...  it paid off in the short term.  d came into this world without drugs. a few years later it paid off again with p.  if you divide it between d and p... it was only $360 a kid.  not bad.

but the math doesn't end there. 

i am also beginning to think that the bradley method is far more genius than i could have ever known at the time.  you see, i find myself using his strategies years post laboring.

take today for example.  i used his "focus on your happy place" strategy to make it through the bickering that occurred throughout breakfast.  his "counting breaths" method worked well as d was terrorizing her sister as we played in the front yard.  and yes, i used his "focus on relaxing each muscle group" while trying to get dinner on the table.

i'm beginning to wonder if bradley tried to play a little trick on all of us "naturally" inclined birthing mommas.  i question if maybe, he knew that he'd have our undivided attention as we prepared for birth to REALLY give us tools that would actually help us survive later journeys in motherhood.  i'm not sure they helped all that much in the birthing process, but those tricks are paying off dividends in the toddler, preschooler, elementary years (for this momma, at least).

yes.  that was $720 that i would invest all over again.  sure, i felt like i had reached a mountain top after each drug free birth, but i had no idea how i would feel after surviving a day like today by using those tools all over again.

i am momma!  hear me roar... 

d's first day

my d has been waiting her entire life to go to preschool.  her momma has been in no hurry.  it's funny how it changes from kid 1 to kid 2.  with e, i was excited for the first day, but with d i sort of wanted to put it off for as long as possible.  it's not that i don't want her to explore the great big world without her momma, it's just that i know she has lots of time for that.  she doesn't have lots of time to stay safe in the confines of the pre preschool.  the world could wait, as far as this mom was concerned.  but alas, i knew the time had come for my 3 1/2 year old girlie to begin the academic adventure that awaits her. 

and so a few weeks ago, my d began her journey into the world without her mom.  she was excited to finally use the backpack that she received last year for chirstmas.  although she doesn't really need a backpack, she toted it none-the-less.  the night before she had a mild case of "but momma, what if's".  it was the typical slew of questions, but sort of uncharacteristic for this little bug.  once she sorted through her worry list,  she was good to go.  on the big day, she asked "how long until i leave?" about 3000 times.  since she attends in the afternoon, so it felt like years in the life of a 3 year old.  she made it, though.  and off to school she skipped.

she posed for her obligatory "first day of school" snaps with excitement.  having watched her sister do this for the past few years, she knew it was a rite of passage.  it was a rite of passage that i believe she secretly coveted.  for the first time, this photo was about her. 

as i drove her to school, i started to get nervous.  notice it was me- not her...  yep, that's right it was the momma with the "giant sized butterflies".

and then off into the world she went.

she loves that she has something "unknown" to share at the dinner table each night.  she loves that she has her very own picture day and book fair.  she giggle about her new friends and her sweet teacher.  she's good and for her, all is right in the world.