i have been thinking about it for the past few days and wondering what her motivation might be. she shows some interest in other shows, but really, she doesn't WATCH any shows. i'll press play on the dvr she'll say: momma, cozy up me! i'll snuggle her onto the couch with her bunny and blanket. she hangs all "cozied up" for about 2.3 minutes and then the girl is off. e covets her limited tv time each day, but d, not so much.
and so it had me perplexed (i realize that the answer to this problem won't end world hunger or anything, but none the less, i was thinking about it).
fast forward to yesterday. i was putting on my makeup in the bathroom with d and we were chatting. she said she wanted to watch "olivia ice skating". shocker. i explained to her that we weren't watching shows right now and that maybe she could try something new next time. she was pretty firm in her reply: no, momma. i love olivia ice skating. (at that moment i considered an "accidental" dvr erase).
i went on with makeup and d was just sort of bouncing, playing, watching me, and looking at herself in the mirror. after a few minutes, she sort of forgot that i was there and she went into her "play mode". she was dancing around, spinning, lifting up her leg etc. (this is all pretty typical behavior for our bouncy little d, so i went on with make-up application.) suddenly she remembered that i was there and she began to talk to me:
olivia good dancer, momma.
olivia wears ice skates.
i like dancing, momma.
daddy take me ice skating, momma.
i fall down. it was silly (and then she threw her head back and laughed with the biggest ear to ear grin).
WOWZA! and then it all came back to me and the mystery obsession with "olivia ice skating" became clear... i'll share.
right after christmas, my car needed an oil change. my husband (who takes incredibly good care of me) scheduled an appointment for a saturday morning. when the day came, he grabbed a kiddo and headed out the door. (i would like to insert that i objected and told him to leave the kiddos with me, but he's good like that and insisted). the kiddo under his arm was delaney.
after d inhaled 3 snacks and a beverage from the vending machine in 6 minutes, scott decided they needed a better plan. he knew that just next door were a few big box shops where he might be able to kill some time and so they took their show in the road. somehow between the door of the dealership and the door of the babies-r-us, scott discovered a temporary ice rink that had been put up for the holidays. and so without any further ado, he took d ice skating. and from what i hear, they had a pretty swell time.
scott didn't have a camera with him, so there are no snaps to commemorate d's first time on skates.
when they arrived home, i was a bit shocked. d told me the story with stars in her eyes for her daddy-love. it was like she had just come home from a first date. for her, this marked the first time that she had a special daddy-daughter bonding day. and this girl was in daddy-daughter heaven. but there was a wee little problem... e has been wanting to go skating for centuries (well, that might be a little exaggeration since she's only 5, but you get the idea). if e knew that d had been treated to skating she just might have gone through the roof. and so we just didn't talk about it. what she didn't know would certainly not kill her. in fact, it would go miles for our household. and so that was that. d mentioned it occasionally a few times in the first few days after the big skate and then never mentioned it again... until yesterday.
and to be honest, her mentioning it made me feel two things:
1.) it made me fall in love with my husband. i mean, i'm already in love with him every day, but occasionally little things will take place and i fall in love with him all over again but for new reasons. as i listened to d babble on and on about her daddy, i saw such a wonderful side of my husband. he was born to be the father of girls. from such an early age, each one of his daughters has "adored" written on their hearts. by design, girls need to feel it this from their daddy. (there is literally gobs of research that indicates this.) i can't explain it, but it is so important. and as i watched d revel in that adoration, my heart swelled for my husband. i feel so "rich"* to have that man as my husband, and i feel even more "rich" to have him as "my baby daddy".
2.) the second thing it made me feel was that we might have done a disservice to our girlies by keeping it a secret in our household. obviously, it was etched into little d's mind. it was special to her and she cherished that moment. we should have let her talk about it and celebrate her special time with daddy. sure, e would have had her feelings a little hurt, but the truth is that she has had many special daddy dates over the years. teaching our girls to share in each other's relationships is going to be so important. i want them to cuddle under the covers and talk about their dating life together (you know, when we let them date at 35). i want them to loan each other their favorite dress for a special event. i anticipate them being sisters that communicate. it such an important skill, but it is certainly learned. the only thing that i taught them by keeping delaney's date a secret is that in our family we hide things. but the truth is, that goes against ever fiber of my being. i believe in openness, even when it is hard. i believe in talking through things and working them out (even if it includes hurt feelings or other less desirable emotions). and so d showed me that in our house, we don't have secrets.
and so later in the afternoon, d asked to watch a show. you don't even have to guess what she picked. we sat together and watched "olivia ice skating" and then we told e about her special date. e was a little bit jealous at first, but i gently reminded her that right around the same time that d and daddy went ice skating e and daddy had gone to the movies together. after that little chat, e asked me for some paper plates... you know, so d could teach her some skating moves on the carpet. priceless.
* i'm using the word "rich" here instead of "blessed". i'm in the process of trying to figure out the place for "blessed" in my vocabulary. maybe when i figure out how i feel about that i'll share in another post. it is becoming so overused and is hard for me to wrap my brain around.
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