remembering amish country

you may remember me blogging last year about my chicago girls. the photo that i used in that entry was taken last november. the four of us, in an effort to celebrate janet's pregnancy with dot, took a little 24 hour trip to amish country (shipshewana, in). we spent our time there browsing the quaint little shops, admiring the craftsmanship that the amish bring to anything they touch, watching their chirstmas kick-off parade, gabbing like school girls in our bed-and-breakfast 4 bed dorm room, and just enjoying one another. it was wonderful. we went to give janet a little respite before dot entered the scene, but each ended up getting out own little respite, too.

while there, i found this little frame. it struck me as adorable and funny and attention grabbing. i thought it would be a great addition to our holiday decorations.

yesterday, we decorated our house for christmas. it was lovely. we trimmed the tree, found new spots for all of our usual holiday decorations, listened to festive music... and it was 74 and sunny. now that is my idea of wonderful! but when i reached into the bin and pulled out that little frame...

i smiled first. but then a little sadness crept into my heart. i love our life here. i still find myself laughing sometimes that i live in california. (i'm not sure why i find it so funny, but it certainly isn't something this east coast girl ever expected to be doing.) the sun is amazing, you heard about how i have a new found appreciation for nature and it is mostly good. but i am a social being and a few months ago i said goodbye to some of the most wonderful people in the world. i miss them.

this holiday season, as i look at those little guys tugging that great big tree, i'll think of my fabulous 24 hour get away. and while it might make me sad, i'm going to choose to be grateful. because the truth is, i am so blessed to have those three gals in my life.

love you girls and miss you more than words can express.

setting the bar

my husband received an ominous package in the mail today. it scares the pants off of me. 7 books and an ipod loaded with lectures- rockin' times, i tell you!

dear california bar exam,

you have quite the reputation! i know you are about to take over our lives for the next three months and i simply ask that you be kind to my husband. he works hard and now he is going to be working harder trying to tackle you. please go easy on him, and me for that matter. i'm going to be a single mom for a bit and i anticipate that it will have its challenges. i would be forever thankful if you would give us an easy run at this. we did this together a few years ago, but that was before three bambinos. here's to hoping we can do it again.

sincerely,
momma

tinkle tinkle ellie is a great big star

setting the stage: scott and momma were in the kitchen making dinner, enjoying some wine and snacks, and celebrating the fact that all three of our children were in another room... AWAY for the first time in what feels like decades. suddenly we heard a herd of elephant on the stairs... children approaching.

ellie: buggy went pee pee all by herself on the potty.

delaney: yeah!

m & d: really? (looking at buggy who is dressed completely in a different outfit than when both children went upstairs)

ellie: i put her on the potty and she went pee pee and then i wiped her and then i put her diaper on and she got dressed.

delaney: yeah!

m & d: why is she wearing your pajamas, ellie?

ellie: oh, because she wanted to be a big girl like me.

m & d: oh.

we then proceeded to take buggy's picture, adjust the diaper that was slightly twisted, and hand out high-fives to both girls... you know, because our 5 year old has decided to potty train our baby who isn't quite yet two. and baby under two, seems to respond well to her very involved sister.

FOR HIRE: 5 year old potty trainer, no charge in exchange for room and board (just kidding).

un-american

we had a really nice thanksgiving. we enjoyed yummy appetizers, watched football and played barbies for the better part of the day. then we all got dressed and headed out to dinner.

we took some family pictures, although delaney wasn't really in the mood...

and eventually boycotted the family snapshots. (which should have been an indicator of what was to come as we were about to sit down to dinner.)

poppy got tired from the tryptophan...

ellie ate scrumptious chocolate cake.

and delaney was a lunatic. literally. at one point she was lying on the floor at the base of the buffet saying "i do! i do!". she didn't get to "do" and made us pay for the rest of the meal by trying to escape from our table for the duration of the meal.

and last but not least, momma was in thanksgiving heaven (if there is one).

cue story:

(which i will tell at the risk of letting you think that i might possibly be un-American)

for the better part of my life, i have had a strong aversion to thanksgiving. most of the activities surrounding this day actually cause me to be, how shall i say this, UN-thankful. i'm not typically a huge "woman's rights" kind of girl, but this holiday pushes me strongly in that direction. there is something really unappealing about women slaving for days on end planning the perfect feast. then the day arrives and the average male plops his tush down on the couch to enjoy the game- while the above mentioned women continue to bust a move in the kitchen. first is the round of appetizers, then the dinner, then the dessert, then the dishes, then the post dinner sandwiches, then the post dinner sandwiches dishes... that's a whole lotta UN-thankful for this momma.

i should also mention that the average turkey day menu contains ONE item that this momma really likes. i am a fan of turkey. i am not so much a fan of stuffing, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, green bean casserole, yams... you get the picture. so the idea of doing all of the work for a dinner that i don't care for is less than appealing. it is, for me, UN-thankful inducing.

i am also apposed to the amount of food consumption that this holiday promotes. it isn't natural! it is way too much eating for me to handle.

BUT TODAY... today was thanksgiving heaven! the buffet that we went to had the perfect variety! instead of lots of things that make me feel UN-thankful, this buffet was filled with lots of my favorite things.

and so today, i celebrated MY FIRST gratitude inducing thanksgiving! my belly was delighted by caesar salad, oysters on the half shell, shrimp cocktail, ciabbata rolls and perfectly cooked prime rib.

and i was full of thanks.

P.S.- although not a fan of thanksgiving, i am a huge fan of thankfulness. i try to be that all year long.

one heck of a ride

if you had told me last thanksgiving morning what was in store for me, i would not have believed you. i woke up and celebrated the day without any insight. we ate dinner at scott's cousins, enjoyed good conversation with his family and had a really wonderful day. i had no idea what was to come.

later that night, after tucking the kids into bed i sat on the couch chatting with my mother-in-law. i remember two parts of that conversation very well... the first part is that i said that i was pretty certain that we were done having babies and that IF we had another one, it wouldn't be anytime soon. the other thing i said (although i don't recall the context) was something to the effect of... "you never know, i could be hit by a bus tomorrow." wow! talk about foreshadowing!

moments after that conversation took place i realized that i had about a bajillion messages on my phone. after listening to the messages, i realized something was really wrong. a quick call to my sister confirmed it. at around 10:00 on thankgsiving night i learned that my mom was in the er at a hospital in richmond. the prognosis at that time was that it was hard to imagine her living through the night.

i can remember going to bed, helpless, waiting for stacy to call me when she arrived at the hospital. i "slept" with my phone in my hand and lay pleading with God on behalf of my mother. i wasn't sure if i was pleading for her life or her death at that moment, but just knew that God would have to handle it. in the wee small hours of the morning, my sister called. what she saw wasn't good. the amount of bleeding on her brain was significant and they were pretty sure that surgery was inevitable, but first they needed to stabilize her.

the next morning, my family and i drove back to chicago to figure out how to proceed. somewhere between detroit and chicago, i began to suspect that i was expecting. wow! as i said before, if you had told me on the morning of thanksgiving how my life was going to change, i would not have believed you!

a pregnancy test confirmed my suspicion and my mom began to fight the odds. each day they performed brain scans and each day they were stumped. the amount of bleeding they saw indicated that she shouldn't be alive, but each day she progressed little by little. doctors couldn't really explain it, but she was living. the irony of it all was that the part of her brain that had been removed 33 years prior is what they suspected was saving her. it gave room in her head for the extra blood. wow! that's a lot to wrap your brain around (no pun intended). the medical condition that had changed her life years earlier, saved her life years later.

you know the rest of the story... day by day she got better. day by day, she was living, she was walking, she was laughing, she remembered things, and all signs eventually pointed to her getting better.

and for the most part, she did. but for a few things, my mom has been completely restored to her original health over the past year. she also was able to sell her house in virginia, has moved in with stacy and her family, and just this last week broke ground on her soon to be garage apartment. after settling with the insurance company and hiring people to handle the medicare negotiation of her bills, my mom walked away with all of her bills paid. she even had extra money to cover any additional care expenses she might have in the future. if you had told me that in those first few days- i would have cried with joy!

this year has certainly provided her (and i) with some challenges. it has had its ups and downs if you will and has been like one giant roller coaster ride.


oh, and the lady second back from the front (on the left)... that's my mom. apparently she likes living on the edge. that is her on a roller coaster at hershey park... you know, this summer.... because this year hasn't been exciting enough on its own (smile).

yes, today, i have a lot to be thankful for. today, on the anniversary of my mom's accident i am beyond thankful for her life. and today, one day shy of learning that i was to have a third baby, i am beyond thankful for my sweet poppy's little life. it sure has been one crazy year and in spite of the insanity that has surrounded me at times, my heart beats with gratitude.

and it was good

back in the day when we went to church of wrigleyville, there was a period with a lot of emphasis on worship and the different ways in which we can spend quality time with our savior. on one particular sunday they cancelled the message portion of the service and encouraged people to go out and experience worship by examining God's creation with a fresh eye. they suggested that we view elements of nature as if it were brand new and to imagine God creating it for the purpose of bringing us joy (because that was His intent).

i can remember leaving the sanctuary on addison st. and walking out into the great big world, hand in hand with my husband. i loved the idea of this exercise and found it to be such a refreshing departure from the church experiences i have known in the past. i was eager to accomplish the goal. together, we walked and we prayed and mostly we just tried to take in the full experience.

much to my disappointment, i found this experience to be incredibly difficult. as hard as i tried to force it, it just wasn't happening for me. on that day, i came face to face with an interesting and somewhat embarrassing truth. i do not experience God through nature.

in that series i learned that there are lots of ways i DO experience God (i primarily see God through people), but it troubled me that i couldn't really EXPERIENCE Him in nature.

years passed and i sort of compartmentalized that truth. i didn't pull it out of its compartment very often, but from time to time it would surface.

years passed... and then i moved here.

suddenly, i found that everywhere i turned i was seeing God in beautiful and new ways, with nature at the forefront.

i think the moral of the story (for me, at least) is that it is ok (or in fact preferable) to not feel things at certain times. this is a real truth for many of us. we are each created differently (thank you, Jesus), so we will each process and react to things differently. and if we are patient and keep persevering, God will reveal His truths to us in His time.

i think chicago is one of the most beautiful places on earth. there is nothing like taking in the waters of lake michigan as you drive down the lakeshore. it took my breath away the first time i saw it as it did on my last day before moving to san francisco. but for me, it wasn't a worship experience. it did not make me to connect with God. but apparently, the views of the mountains that surround me in my new corner of the earth do. i step out onto the sidewalk in front of my house and glance at the mountains that climb up out of the earth and SEE that God is amazing. i am now able to delight in His handiwork and, for the first time, can delight in the gift given to me by my Father in His creation of earth.

it brings new meaning to the words written in genesis as God completed each day of creation, "and God saw that it was good".

things that make you mmmm....

since i'm bored to tears in quarantine over here, i've been trying to reflect on happier times. lucky for me, those happier times were just a mere hours before we became suspicious of piggy flu invading our world.
as i mentioned earlier, sunday was my birthday. it was also "opening day" for dungeness crab season. and so we decided to celebrate both by driving in to the city and going to "mommy's favorite birthday spot"... you know, the carousel at pier 39 (aren't i a good sport?). and we decided to end the day at mommy's REAL spot of preference... fisherman's wharf (aren't my girls good sports?).

the sea lions were their ever stinky but captivating selves. i don't know what it is, but i will probably never tire of watching these guys. if you watch them for long enough, you can see that each one has their own distinct personality. (e and i like the ones that nose butt their neighbors off of the dock unsuspectingly to make more room for themselves. the best part is when the disturbed one returns to claim their original spot.)

poppy just likes to drool and catch the wind in her mouth and enjoys the ride. (i'm certain to hear about posting this picture some day!)

and d was happy to play "model" as daddy tried out our new camera. which of course made the day extra enjoyable to him.

and we all left with full bellies. and then returned home to this: (which, true to my usual self, entails a story... come on, you know you love my meandering tales that eventual get to the finish line.)

as a child, my mom made me the most delish lemon meringue pie for my annual birthday. i'm not a huge cake girl (gasp), and this is what i always requested.

upon marriage, my hubby decided to take over the annual meringue pie tradition (i know, i married a pretty fantastic guy). and so each year, scott has spent hours in the kitchen making this delicious treat. each year he nails the crust and each year he knocks the meringue out of the park. the only problem is that he has had a wee bit of trouble getting the lemon to set. he's tried many recipes, even my mom's recipe, but year after year something goes wrong.

i think i should also interject that my hubby can cook. he's REALLY good. but for some reason, this pie has been a sticking point for him. he just couldn't seem to get it, and not for lack of trying. on several occasions i have tried to put my fabulous hubby out of his misery and have sworn that i would be equally happy with a store bought pie. but he perseveres. and i am proud to report that this year, he ROCKED IT! it was (don't tell my mom) the best lmp i have ever had!

and isn't that way better than my sorted tales of contracting swine flu?

can't accuse me of being vain

well folks, we have come down with the flu. based on what i am reading, the seasonal flu has not appeared on the scene yet, so this must be the swine. my ped confirmed this and is recommending that we stay at home and skip the test altogether. and so we are getting cozy in our sick bed, watching a mind numbing amount of television, reading lots of books, eating jello and sleeping. poor scott (who has escaped the dreaded swine along with poppy) was forced to care for all of us sickies yesterday, but today he had to return to the office.

a secret delivery

a few weeks ago we got together with a friend of mine from college who lives in the area. this is her little guy- nicholas. isn't he dreamy? he and d's birthday are just a few days apart. e, d, n and his big sister sophia got along quite well. it is always nice when your kiddos get along well with your friends kiddos.



n's momma has been amazing as we have gone through this transition. about a year ago she sent me this super fab list of burbs for us to consider and helpful tips to guide us as we narrowed in on an area. but more importantly, i found her always checking in with me to see how i was doing. it was very sweet and always encouraging, especially at the times when the move looked like it wasn't going to happen.



sunday was my thirty... something birthday. my husband rocked it out, but there was a certain element of sad that came as i celebrated my birthday without my usual dinners with friends. so... you can imagine my surprise and sheer delight when i opened my front door to this:

my sweet friend left a basket of champagne, chocolate carmels and jelly belly beans on my front stoop. first, i am not really sure how she knew it was my birthday and second, i'm not sure how she knew how to nail my favorite things. regardless, she did... and it got me thinking...

there has been much hype about "pay it forward" and "random acts of kindness" and oprah's angel project from a few years back and those things are good. in fact, they are excellent. i think it is great when we step out of our own world and bless our greater community.

but what would it look like if we spent our time and energy blessing and caring for our immediate community? what if instead of "random" acts of kindness, we went through life showering people with INTENTIONAL acts of kindness (like my friend did)... what if we cared for the people in our lives in a way that was gentle, loving and incredibly helpful? i'd like to imagine living in that world.

my friends actions reminded me of how special it is to be remembered and how wonderful it feels to know that someone is thinking of you and going out of their way to do deliberate things to make you smile. i don't do enough of that in my life, and this special blessing reminded me that i should do more.

inclusive

i was the youngest of three girls (i also have a younger brother and sister, but they didn't arrive until much later). being such, i have a certain sensitivity to the roll of youngest... (brace yourself. i see a lot of posts about this role in your future.)

don't get me wrong. i wouldn't trade places with either of my older sisters for even a minute, but being the youngest comes with some baggage (really, what doesn't come with baggage?)

the bulk of the baggage can be summed up by the word leftovers (hmmm... maybe that is why i don't care for leftovers to this very day.... things become less intentional on behalf of the parent and you get a lot of hand-me-downs. and i don't just mean clothes. i mean, when you ask the question of "why" in regards to how things are done you get a lot of "that's just how we always did it with your sister"...

and so i'm sensitive (just ask my sisters). i don't want everything in poppy's life to be a hand-me-down. don't get me wrong, she's wearing her sisters clothes and she's doing her rotation with the baby toys and the baby gear... but there are parts of her life that i'd like to be a bit more inclusive. as she reads back over the words of her momma (after all this blog is REALLY for them) i don't want her to feel like big sisters were my everything and she was just somewhere down the line. i want her to feel uniquely p... special in her every way (even if she is wearing the same christmas dress that both her sisters wore).

and so welcome to my new address. it promises to be more of the same.

just a wee bit more inclusive!

water for christmas

once upon a time a prince and his wife were walking to church in chicago.  as they got close to the church they came up behind a cute little couple.  the couple was a gal and guy pushing a snap-n-go stroller that contained a sweet newborn baby boy.  the wife smiled and thought that they were cute.  the wife was pregnant at the time and envisioned walking to church with her prince in just a few short months, pushing a stroller themselves.

some time passed and the wife gave birth to sweet baby e.  the wife joined a newly formed bible study for mommas and finally met that gal she had seen months earlier.  she also met their sweet baby boy, oliver. 

the gal turned out to be a wonderful gal and over time they became friends.

one day, the gal and the guy decided it was time to move.  they left their beloved city of chicago and headed to iowa.  the gal decided that she would enter into the world of blogging.  she was a writer and so this was a good fit for her.  the wife, missing her sweet friend, read each and every post that was made to the blog.  she read about food and she read about poety.  she read about their new life and their adventures in their new suburb and she read about mothering boys.  she read about new traditions and fabulous transformations. the words were good and the blog was entertaining.

but one day, the wife visited the blog and was...  well, she was shocked.  her mild mannered friend had really gotten excited! (seriously, if you haven't clicked on any of the words in pink, click on the word EXCITED!)  and this excitement created a movement... th movement was water for christmas.

this year, the gal (aka farm raised) and her sister-in-law expanded the movement.  the huffington post even noticed!  they can't be stopped.  they are raising money to support clean water...

farm-raised says it best in her own words:

"Every day, 4500 mothers bury their children due to contaminated water. They are forced to sustain their families with a diabolical liquid that contains both life and death. This lack of clean water is the leading cause of death in underdeveloped nations. And it just doesn't have to be!"

and

"$10 will provide one person in Africa clean water for 10 years. It will literally change and possibly save someone's life. A mother. A child. A brother. A grandfather.



We are rallying together for a cause. Clean water. One day. $10. Asking everyone to let this be their first gift. Let water, let life be their first gift of the season."

do you feel like you want to join that crazy gal?  go ahead, don't wait, click HERE!

cheers

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got

Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot
Wouldn't you like to get away?


Sometimes you want to go - where everybody knows your name
and they're always glad you came
You wanna be where you can see - our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows your name

this song resonates with me on so many levels.  i must admit, i was probably made to be a small town girl more than i care to admit.  and while i resist by gravitating towards large cities (atlanta... chicago... san francisco), my heart is at home in some of the small town comforts.  i like walking into the grocery store and running into an old friend.  i love the honk and wave as you pass your neighbor while driving down the street.  you get my drift here.

during our short stint in the burbs of chicago, the one place where i really felt this way was at mops*.  i started mops last fall and really enjoyed it.  i don't know if those women have any idea of the role they played in my life, but to me, they were priceless.  you see, last fall my table mates and i began to get to know one another.  we established a comfort level with one another and a conversational ease.  it was easy to share things with these women.  and then my mom's accident happened... and then i found out we were pregnant... and then the house on the market thing... 

i usually play the role of "strong girl".  i try not to let much get me down and i am usually pretty good at declining help from anyone (the latter one being not such a great trait).  but something happened at mops.  each week i would walk in and someone would ask how things were.  when they asked i knew that they cared.  and so the flood gates would open.  i probably cried more in front of those woman than i have cried in my adult life.  they were always so gracious, so encouraging, and they loved me through the hard.  in essence, they were my life support in a time of turmoil.

i was so sad to leave them and to bid farewell to my "taking a break from all my worries" and my place of "where everybody knows your name"...  my personal cheers, if you will.

i knew right away that i had to find a mops out here.  and so on week two of living in calli, the girls and i headed to a random church.  nobody knew we were coming, nobody knew our names...  and i am happy to say, it has surpassed my expectations.  i don't have anything to weep about with this group of women (thankfully), but find them to be just as welcoming, just as supportive and ever so loving. 

and in the lonley of a new town, a new chapter of parenting, it's good to get away to a place where "they're always glad you came."

*MOPS is a program for mothers with kids under the age of 6.  the kiddos meet in age specific classrooms and have a story time, crafts and physical activity.  at the same time, the mommas meet in a room where they enjoy brunch, table talk time, and a guest speaker who talks about a topic that is of interest to moms.  it meets twice a month and is 2 hours in duration.  http://www.mops.org/  - find one in your neck of the woods.  i promise you won't be sorry!