i'll admit that when i signed her up i had visions of a life of leisure, easy street, mani's, pedi's and 33% less daily tasks to contend with.
i was wrong.
given that she was to be dropped off in the santa cruz mountains on father's day, we decided to take advantage of our proximity to the sea before her arrival time. it was a lovely day. we surfed. we boogie boarded. we picnicked.
late afternoon, we arrived at camp for drop-off. scott took the girlies off to explore the grounds while i checked in the eldest. as i took in the sites, i was excited. it looked like there was a lot of fun to be had. it harkened me back to my camp years and my mind flooded with memories of new friends, bug juice, canoeing, campfire songs and my first crush... wait what? my mind came to a screeching halt when i thought about that boy with the cute blue and white checkerboard hat that i thought was divine back in the day. would my girl meet a boy?
why did i sign her up for this?
have i gone stark raving mad?
am i really going to leave my nine year old in the middle of the santa cruz mountains?
hells to the no. we are out of here.
at that moment, i had reached the front of the line and the registration lady was calling me forward. i smiled. i nodded. i turned in her spending money and insurance forms. in exchange i was given her bunk assignment.
again, flooded by the warm fuzzy feeling and dismissing the thought of ne'er do well boys that had devious plans to lead my daughter astray.
i went off in search of scott and the girls with the intent of finding e's cabin. i found them in the barn (!!! this camp is amazing !!! they have a barn!!!). e was petting a bunny (um, hello! can you say "love language"?) and p was nuzzling in the grass with a kitten. kids were volley balling in the backgrounding and the delightful screech of kids descending down the zip line was off in the distance. joy. joy. joy. yes! please!
the five of us grabbed e's duffle and wandered off in the direction of the girl's cabins (which were clearly AWAY from the boy's cabins, thank goodness). i let out a sigh and took in the beauty of nature as we walked along. i kept looking at my girl. she seemed ok. she seemed eager and with resolve that she could handle a week without the rents. there was a timidness behind her brave face, but i could sense that she had this. she was going to be fine.
and then i saw the cabins. what the what???
pause for a moment.
when you hear the word "cabin" what comes to mind?
what this momma saw, was not what had come to mind when i was typing in the digits for my credit card a few months back. i wanted to grab girlie by the arm and make a run for it. she would not, she could not, survive in this...
but that isn't exactly the face of a momma that reassures her girl when she is uncertain. THAT would be the opposite of helpful. and so i put my brave face on, smiled and marched my girl into the structure that i had been made to believe was a "cabin". i helped my girlie choose a top bunk and i fought back the choke of tears that was in my throat.
and then "shalom", the counselor stuck out her hand and introduced herself. her real name was not "shalom" but each of the counselors had chosen a moniker for the summer and that was hers. i liked her already. she was EXACTLY what a camp counselor should look like. she was kind and sweet and reassuring. she was peaceful and outdoorsy, and had decorated the bunk with soda bottles filled with flowers. it is possible that she didn't shave but she didn't smell like patchouli and she didn't smell badly. she was cheerful and wore a back pack on her back. she had hung a kammok roo in the "cabin" and laid rugs on the floor. i knew she would care for my girl.
we settled the girl into her bunk. we met the bunk mates and then we went back to the common space. i tried to dismiss the idea that girlie was practically sleeping in the wilderness. i tried to dismiss the idea of her being sprayed by skunks and stung by scorpions and clenched by snakes.
there was an opening ceremony where the counselors were introduced and in spite of my desire to loathe these people that couldn't possibly care for my girl the way that i could, i found myself liking them. all of them. instantly. they were quirky. they were fun. they were warm. we opened with prayer. we sang a camp song. and then the parents and family members were invited to leave.
e, not being a fan of big ordeals, gave each of us apathetic hugs. and then she started to cling to her group and wave us off towards the car. it was time to go.
again, knowing that the e is not a fan of ordeals, i turned with the rest of the fam and walked in the direction of the car. it was weird. in all of my nine years with e, we have never been away for a full week. and when we have been separated, she has been in the hands of grandma. this was not the norm and yet i knew in my heart of hearts that this was good and this was ok and this was right.
but it was hard.
on satuday, her father retrieved her from camp. she was tired, a little disgruntled but mostly filled with happy stories about her week away.
we went for fro-yo and she shared her happenings from the week and while she didn't say that she loved it, it was obvious that she had a good time.
it was a hard week for the momma. yes, i enjoyed my time with two under the roof. no, it didn't include things like easy street or a life of leisure or even 33% less... it was about 99% more worry. i thought about my girl 24/7 and missed her like crazy. i talked myself out of driving up the mountain and retrieving her. i resisted the urges to call the camp director several times a day (i didn't even call once). although i may have stalked the website for daily uploads of my girl and i may have cried a few times at breakfast when i saw her empty spot... possible. not committing to that, though.
let's just say it was good to have her back under my roof.
this week, i took the girls to vbs at a local church. on day two, e was miffed about going. when i picked her up she told me it was "ok". and then she proceeded to tell me that it wasn't nearly as cool as sleep away camp where she rode motorcycles, shot riffles, engaged in archery and climbed rope courses to the top of redwood trees.
"so you had a pretty fun time at camp?"
"yeah, mom! it was the best week of my life."
and so i guess we are doing it again next year.
gulp.
