typically seen by my eyes in april

california, you continue to amaze and surprise me!

today, while getting into my car i stopped dead in my tracks... could it be, was it possibly...

daffodils?

on january 31st?

bright beautiful flowers poking their noses through the soil of the earth and announcing the arrival of springtime?

a little flashback to my grammar teaching years

the word why can be used as an adverb, like in this sentence:

why, momma?

or a conjunction such as this one:

no why hit momma! (translation: i don't know why i hit momma)

as a noun like this fine example:

d's whys all day long are causing me to feel like i am going to jump off of a cliff.

why can also be used as an interjection:

why, the litany of whys being thrown at me all day long is leading me to the brink of insanity!

and why can also be part of the contraction why is:

why's momma so crazy today?

because you have been asking why (as an adverb) for the past three weeks non-stop!

eating organic

a friend of mine, who is considering the switch to eating organic, polled some friends for some advice. essentially, she wanted to know why we made the switch. after thinking about it, i thought i'd dive into that question right here.

and so, here is why we eat organic (and the details on how we do it)...

on the day that we discovered that we were preggers with baby girl e, we switched to organic. just like that- without asking a single question or really knowing why- just because we figured it was "better". we didn't go to the library to check out a book, we didn't have friends that were talking it up, we didn't google it or read about it in what to expect when you're expecting... for us it was a sort of flippant decision that didn't gain real momentum until later.

those first few months of eating "organic" really meant shopping at whole foods (or as my friend refers to it- whole paycheck). if it was at whole paycheck, then we deemed it good. and that was that... for the time.

when e was a baby, i went to visit my sister stacy. while there, we joined her on a run to pick up her csa (community supported agriculture) box. we also observed how her family was doing organic and it got little old me asking some questions.

and that is when i started doing some research. as i read articles and dug deeper i realized that this was something that i really cared about. i learned about pesticides and toxins, about sustainable farming, about antibiotics given to animals and about diseases that are now becoming more and more prevalent in the human body. from what i could see, there were direct links between the changes in farming practices and the health of our bodies.

pesticides are causing our bodies to react differently to the foods we eat. they are also causing natural foods (think broccoli) to be less nutritious for us because as the foods absorb the pesticides they chemically change the value of the food. the nutrients that we think we are getting from fruits and veggies are no longer being processed by our bodies in the same way. essentially, the vitamins that go into our bodies aren't being absorbed in the same quantities. so while we think we are getting x amount of vitamins c, k, a, folate and fiber (to name a few), our bodies absorb less. again, from what i could tell, it looked like the use of pesticides threw the entire food pyramid out of whack.

next was toxins. food dyes contain them. medicines contain them as do sodas, junk food, artificial sweeteners and meat. there are direct links between these toxins and a whole slew of cancers (kidney, stomach, bladder and brain... just to name a few). there are also a huge slew of connections between these toxins and reproductive health.

and then there is the dreaded antibiotic and growth hormones. in an effort to speed up the process from birth to slaughter- lots of cattle and poultry farmers are beefing up their animals to allow them to get bigger faster. they also don't have time to care for each animal individually, so they inject them with antibiotics to keep the livestock "healthy". rather than treating just the sick animals, they give them routinely to all their animals... you know, just in case. the problem is that growth hormones and antibiotics, while being helpful to the farmers bottom line (more milk from cows, more cows at the slaughter table and bigger animals) aren't helpful to humans. growth hormones are linked to reproductive health issues and early on-set puberty. they are also linked to a several different kinds of cancer. antibiotics are linked to antibiotic-resistant strains of bacteria. this means that when we really are sick and need to be treated with antibiotics, our bodies don't respond to the medicine.

in my research i also learned that lots of other countries have banned some of the things we deem safe in the united states. there are many countries that refuse to import american beef because of this, as the don't stand behind our farming practices. this always gets me going- as i would rather the government agencies ere on the side of caution. unfortunately, farming and government have a difficult time being separate in the usa- there is a lot to be gained by both sides by being in sync.

then there is the waste issue. as animals ingest all of these things (pesticides, toxins, growth hormones and antibiotics) they also excrete all of these things. as they do so, they contaminate the soil. future crops grown with the manure becomes less rich in nutrients... it's a vicious cycle.

and for me, that was about all i needed to know. and so we found a csa in chicago, began to scrutinize our whole paycheck purchases (to really get down to the health of it) and we became more convicted about some other decisions that we had made for our family (alternative medicine and vaccinations- both issues for another post).

over the years, we've had ups and downs with all of this. sometimes i am diligent in aligning my shopping habits with our beliefs, and at other times i am less rigid. but overall, we try to be as organic as possible. if i'm at your house for dinner, i don't think twice about eating what you serve me and don't fret or judge. life is about moderation. i figure that if i do my best to limit our intake of foods containing the above "stuff", than i figure we are that much less at risk. if i'm in a hurry and don't have time for a run to whole foods, i do my best at the local grocery store. if we are in a hurry, we eat fast food. we also dine out at restaurants.

and most importantly, i try to remember that there are a lot of variables. our health is out of my control. i can do what i think is best, but that doesn't mean that we won't get cancer, be resistant to needed antibiotics or have other health concerns.

is it a sacrifice? does it take the whole paycheck? is it difficult?

well, yes it's a sacrifice. we allocate more for food than we would if we shopped at the local chain (although it does all depend on how you shop- i've compared budgets with a friend who doesn't eat organic and has the same family size and found that we actually spend less). i don't really think of it as "whole paycheck" so much, but more of "whole health". my kids are living proof of that- with three children we have administered antibiotics twice over our years of parenting.

the difficulty question is harder for me to answer- i kind of like grocery shopping (i know that might be considered a little weird). i also kind of like taking the road less traveled, so to speak. figuring it all out- finding the csa, cheapest place to buy organic meat, on-line sources of organic goodness- kind of gets me jazzed. i'll admit, since having three kids and moving to a new community, it has had its moments. i've been fed up with the challenge at times and then at other times, i've found it to be easy.

and there you have it... our journey to organic eating. and as an added bonus, it's good for the environment, too. (wow- this post might have spurred on a whole slew of other posts! stay tuned...)

kids are punny

things said recently by e:


we were watching a snow storm on the news in lake tahoe... "look at that blister mom!"

i gave her the clothing that i desired for her to put on. after scrutiny of my selection... "i'm ashamed of jeans!" (it was clear that the word she wanted to use was "hate" but i have told her there are more articulate ways to express dislike.)

we were waiting for scott to come home one day and traffic from palo alto tends to be bad later in the week...

i said: i wonder how daddy is doing.

e said: i think your husband is lost.

upon learning that one of her new goldfish had died... "he must have gotten swine flu."

and then there's this...
i had just tucked ellie into bed and was turning the door knob to exit her room. ellie stopped me and asked me if i had locked the front door. after telling her that we keep the front door locked all the time, she asked me to double check. of course i had to ask her why (as any momma would). she then proceeded to tell me that it was because of the raccoons. apparently, if i didn't lock the door then they might come in... you know, because it's been raining a lot lately. after explaining to her that raccoons (and any other animal for that matter) couldn't turn door knobs... because they don't have thumbs, don't have fingers, are scared of people, aren't tall enough to reach... i had satisfied her litany of questions and seemed to have calmed her fears.

the next day, i discovered her standing at her bedroom door, kneeling and reaching up to the door knob making a "paw" with her hand.

me: what cha doin'?

e: seeing if raccoons can open doors. i think you are wrong.

no shame

last march i went to virginia with my sisters to pack up my mom's house. it was a grueling task as my mom wasn't really down with leaving her home and we also knew that a huge downsize was in her future. i can remember my sister taking all of the art off of the walls and then trying to sort through it with my mom- liquidating the things she didn't need and trying to carefully select the best pieces. the problem lied in the fact that, to my mom, they were all "the best pieces" and each one of them had significance to her. she didn't want to part with any. this same exchange happened with her nick-knacks, with her clothes, with her dishes... etc.




it was so strange for me to watch. i have always considered myself to be one that wasn't a "hoarder", one that didn't really cling to stuff, one that could throw out just about anything and not really give it much of a second thought.





until recently.





i am learning through blogging that i have no shame. seriously. so if you are a tidy tim or tina, hold onto your britches before looking at this photo (veronica, i'm serious. this picture could cause you heart failure!).






i'm not kidding... don't scroll down unless you really want to see some serious mess.


















this, friends, is my glorious garage.


why in the blazes are you showing us that, you might be asking and what in the heck has happened to you since moving to california... very valid questions from my peeps that know me as "the girl who labels her toy bins" (yes, i still have small miscellaneous).


i used to be mostly neat and tidy (mother and college friends, i can hear your gasp from here! it began sometime AFTER college and sometime before parenthood.). i used to have all my stuff organized. two years ago on mother's day my "gift" from my hubby (requested by moi) was time... time to go down to the basement and label and organize all our storage items. i literally spent 8 hours, on the day designated for me, putting crap (i mean, our valuable possessions) into bins and labeling them. and i LOVED it. on days when my kiddos had destroyed our playroom, i used to think "at least i have the basement".


but our current existence is a wee bit different. since we are in housing limbo and since we live in the great state of california (bountiful with sunshine and lacking in storage), our garage is a giant endless pool of "stuff". and so up until now, i have closed the door and pretended that it just didn't exist. if i needed something that was buried in that pile, i would send my less organized (but totally fabulous) hubby out into the great abyss in search of whatever.


last weekend, though, i started thinking about it. i began to wonder how we could possibly have so much stuff--- what could we possibly have in that garage that we really needed if our entire house was filled? sure, we still have stuff in storage that will eventually get unpacked when we reach our final destination (think fine china), and sure we have some bins of items that belong in storage for certain periods of time (think Christmas decorations and size 3t clothing items)... but what about the rest of it? a pile that big couldn't possibly be filled with only things that fall into the "need" category. beginning to embrace that i might have a little "hoarder" in me- i decided to open the door and get to the bottom of that mess.


in just a few hours, i had literally emptied three storage bins of things that fall into the "don't need" category. first, i listed them on a local mothers club message board "for sale" and then the things that didn't sell were placed into a box for donation to the big MOPS annual garage sale.


and i'm still going. i currently have all of my outgrown infant clothing listed for sale on ebay (and to date am making enough dough to fund e's spring and fall wardrobe).


but those were the kids bins. true to my belief about myself, i had no issue getting rid of anything we no longer need. the problem lied in what i found in my bins. as i began to go through them, suddenly the "sell" pile and the "donate" pile stopped increasing and the "keep" pile seemed to be growing.


p had fun rolling around with a rectangle that represents my first experience with knitting. my sister was into it and showed me how to do it. i then went to town practicing. i made the piece you see below and a scarf. after that, i wasn't really digging it anymore. i could check "learn to knit" off of goals but that's where the hobby ended for me. but i didn't feel like i wanted to part with my evidence. and so now stashed in my garage was the little rectangle, the scarf, and the needles... doing not a bit of good but taking up room in a bin.





and while i could justify that little stash, the problem lied in the fact that i have LOTS of little stashes like that. things that i want to "save" while really having little to no purpose. and when you add a lifetime of those things together, you get a whole lot of junk. to me, those things have value. as i peruse through them, i am reminded of my accomplishments, favorite moments, former hobbies, hobbies i wish i still had time for...

things my mom has given me from my childhood (seriously- she brought the above puppet to me a few years ago... i don't remember playing with it, or the nightmares that playing with it would certainly induce. heather, stacy, help me out here! where in carnation did that thing come from?). and yet i save them.

and of course, THAT really got me thinking. why do we save stuff? what are we trying to accomplish? do we meet our goal? or does saving stuff just turn into trouble down the line?

and while i could certainly justify keeping lots of things, i realized that by doing so i was embracing something that was so wrong- i was finding personal value in stuff. i admit it, even though i know that my value lies in Truth, my save pile told a very different story.

it showed that if i'm not careful, i find value in all the wrong places.

and so in that moment, i decided to apply the same "get rid of it" mentality that i seem to embrace so easily with other people's stuff to my own stuff.

and it was liberating.

and i don't think i could write this post without referencing mathew 6:19-21

don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or- worse! - stolen by burglars. stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth, rust and burglars.it's obvious, isn't it? the place where your treasure is, is the place you'll most want to be, and end up being.

because the truth of the matter is that my motive isn't recycling (which is good) or helping others (also good)- my motive, in that moment was in being aligned with my maker and living out the life i am called to live.

i'm human, so i'm pretty sure i'll deal with this issue again. i'm pretty sure that i will find myself collecting items that don't have value- but today i want to embrace my "treasure in heaven" rather than my "treasure on earth".

and i ask you to call me out on it if you see it happening again- because the truth is that is also what we are called to do. we should do it gently, we should do it in love, but we should do it.

my sisters and i had to have that chat with my mom back in march- and again this past weekend when she moved into her new apartment (my sisters garage has finally been renovated into a three room suite for my mother). it wasn't a conversation that i really ever wanted to have with my mom- but let me tell you, she's working on embracing it.

and because of her, i am too.

downward dog

so, apparently p is into yoga. my friend heather posted the comment, "this is the table position in yoga... right? " on the name the photo post and then p went and did this today. in fact, she's been doing it all weekend. i am terrified that she has "walking envy" and that she recognizes that she is the only one doing the army crawl around here. it makes me nervous...

name this photo

a blog that i follow occasionally posts a "name that photo" entry. people usually come up with funny titles or captions to go along with the picture that she shows. i took this picture of poppy this week...

so i thought i'd try it. go ahead. don't be shy... name this photo!

life with three

i have been asked a lot lately about how life has changed going from two babes to three babes. if you are a mom with more than three kids, go ahead and stop reading this post (you are super human and you'll only think that i'm whining). but for the rest of you, here are my current observations:

1.) getting three kids to smile for the camera has become nearly impossible. i'm serious, if you see a picture where all three of them are looking at the camera and smiling it is evidence that bribery works. i shudder to think what our next holiday photo might look like because it is a pretty sure bet that when two of them are "on" the other one isn't feeling the photo op vibe. (evidence below... poppy was literally writhing out of her sisters arms in this photo and when she eventually surrendered to their crazy momma snapping pictures, delaney went bongos. ellie was happy to pose provided a chocolate chip cookie was in her near future.)

2.) since arriving in california there has either been a.) a totally full hamper of kids clothing b.) a totally full hamper of parental laundry c.) a laundry basket of clean kids clothing d.) a laundry basket of clean parental laundry e.) an overflowing pile of dry cleaning to be taken in f.) a guest room bed piled with laundry to be folded and an additional basket of laundry to be folded sitting next to the bed or g.) all of the above

i am figuring that at this rate, the baskets will all be empty and put away in 18 years.


3.) our dishwasher is always full. sometimes it's clean, sometimes it's dirty, but it is always FULL.

4.) at almost any given moment you can find someone crying and/or whining at our house. sometimes that someone is me (just kidding).

5.) we are at all moments just a short breath away from an emergency room visit. see exhibit below. momma was attempting to fold the above mentioned laundry. e and d were sweetly playing polly pocket. p was across the room sucking on some appropriate baby rattles and such. after turning my back and folding one single shirt, p had scooted across the floor and was attempting to examine the microscopic polly pocket shoes. i though it was cute (in a "oh no, look at the newest challenge that i now face" kind of way) and grabbed the camera. while taking a quick snap, p bonked herself in the head with polly's cruise ship. awesome. she didn't need a doctor evaluation for ingestion of toxic plastic polly shoe, but she did in fact end up with a bump on the noggin from turbulence on the ocean liner.

oh, and there is one more...

6.) if e grows a single millimeter, i can kiss my girlies matching outfit possibilities goodbye.

and as i've said before, i wouldn't have it any other way. life with three is tiring. i will probably need to hibernate for a long winter's snooze when our p leaves for college and will never be able to successfully hide the circles under my eyes, but these babes are the source of joy that resides in this momma's heart. yes, three are a handful, but i can't think of a better combination to have my hands full of!

off to unload the dishwasher. catch you later. sigh.

boot scootin' boogie

just when d became old enough for me to not have a seizure upon seeing a polly pocket boot, barbie bracelet, calico critter accessory on the floor... poppy went and did this.

no title needed

the thinking cap

back in august my father-in-law came to chicago to visit. he came to help us celebrate sweet e turning 5 and to help scott unload our basement, attic and garage before the big move. it was a huge job and those two worked their tails off for the entire weekend. we took a little break on saturday morning to host a birthday party at a ballet studio for e and 15 of her friends. tom jumped right in and was very hands on the entire weekend. it is a weekend that i will savor for years to come and it is a weekend that ellie remembers fondly.

at some point my father-in-law noticed that the foot pedal on our kitchen trash can was broken. i mentioned to him that we were going to throw it out before the move, but that i have a thing about spending money on trash cans. it feels so wasteful and so we were going to use it in its broken state until the move. tom took this on as a challenge. in an effort to save me some bucks (trash cans are pricey!), he took on the task of repairing the foot pedal. and he decided to invite e in on the repair action.

the two of them sat there in our family room investigating the root of the problem. when it became clear that the break was in a plastic mechanism, tom determined that they would have to design something from scratch in order to make the repair. he sat there showing ellie the problem. it was adorable watching these two put their brains on the problem. after a few minutes, tom asked her for her ideas. sweet e, not sure of what the solution should be, told him to wait a minute while she went to get something. after a few minutes of digging in the toy bin, she reappeared with a bucket on her head. she told him it was her "thinking cap".



and so donning her thinking cap, sitting alongside her beloved grandpa, they fixed the foot pedal. using some screws and some balsa wood, they bridged the broken plastic piece and made the broken trash can operable once again.

this moment was special for her. she felt empowered by her grandfather asking for her input and she didn't want to come to the table empty handed. his confidence in her spurred on her own confidence in herself. and together, side by side, they made the repair. it was a beautiful moment to watch. grandpa brought her into a real life problem and then included her in each step of the way. she was part of the research team, she was part of the repair team, and she benefited from the solution.

watching them made me think of my own grandfather. he was the world to me. i can remember him doing exactly the same type of thing --- he'd bring me along as he repaired something in the shed for my grandmother, or he'd take me out to his workshop to see a piece of furniture he was restoring for his antique business and let me help out in some way. they are memories that have stuck with me and make me smile years later as i think of the wonderful man that he was. and it was in those moments in the workshop that that a little girl realized that she was smart, valuable, had an important voice and could be resourceful with what was in front of me.

years later, i moved to atlanta. in an effort to spare you another long winded story, i'll simply say that my roommate and i were in desperate need of certain pieces of furniture. being newly employed and fresh out of college, my change purse was... well, it was totally empty. and i remembered my grandfather. i remembered the skills he had shared with me and the confidence he had placed in my soul. and so i went to work. i made a trip to home depot and built an entertainment center, a headboard, a coffee table and some shelves. they weren't fancy, but they fit the needs of our apartment. and it was better than a tv on the floor.

as i watched e and her grandfather, i couldn't help but remember that. while they both might have believed that they were simply fixing a trashcan, i know that it was much more. and with excitement, i can't wait to see how this fleshes out in little e's life. i can't wait to see how being empowered by a man she cherishes will impact her in the years to come. maybe she'll make a coffee table one day, or maybe she'll have a greater confidence in her intellectual value, but whatever it is i am certain that she'll think back to tinkering with her grandfather and smile knowing that he was part of her process.

relationships are like that. the investment that we make today may seem little or insignificant, but i'm finding that usually somewhere down the road, those investments pay out dividends that we could never have imagined. those investments in people mold lives and transform us.

so here's to e--- may you always wear your "thinking cap".

a flaw in the advertising campaign

weebles

wobble

and then they DO

fall down

and don't let a ring

get in the way of sucking their thumb.

(is it wrong that i was hoping she'd fall for the photo shoot?)