typically seen by my eyes in april

california, you continue to amaze and surprise me!

today, while getting into my car i stopped dead in my tracks... could it be, was it possibly...

daffodils?

on january 31st?

bright beautiful flowers poking their noses through the soil of the earth and announcing the arrival of springtime?

a little flashback to my grammar teaching years

the word why can be used as an adverb, like in this sentence:

why, momma?

or a conjunction such as this one:

no why hit momma! (translation: i don't know why i hit momma)

as a noun like this fine example:

d's whys all day long are causing me to feel like i am going to jump off of a cliff.

why can also be used as an interjection:

why, the litany of whys being thrown at me all day long is leading me to the brink of insanity!

and why can also be part of the contraction why is:

why's momma so crazy today?

because you have been asking why (as an adverb) for the past three weeks non-stop!

eating organic

a friend of mine, who is considering the switch to eating organic, polled some friends for some advice. essentially, she wanted to know why we made the switch. after thinking about it, i thought i'd dive into that question right here.

and so, here is why we eat organic (and the details on how we do it)...

on the day that we discovered that we were preggers with baby girl e, we switched to organic. just like that- without asking a single question or really knowing why- just because we figured it was "better". we didn't go to the library to check out a book, we didn't have friends that were talking it up, we didn't google it or read about it in what to expect when you're expecting... for us it was a sort of flippant decision that didn't gain real momentum until later.

those first few months of eating "organic" really meant shopping at whole foods (or as my friend refers to it- whole paycheck). if it was at whole paycheck, then we deemed it good. and that was that... for the time.

when e was a baby, i went to visit my sister stacy. while there, we joined her on a run to pick up her csa (community supported agriculture) box. we also observed how her family was doing organic and it got little old me asking some questions.

and that is when i started doing some research. as i read articles and dug deeper i realized that this was something that i really cared about. i learned about pesticides and toxins, about sustainable farming, about antibiotics given to animals and about diseases that are now becoming more and more prevalent in the human body. from what i could see, there were direct links between the changes in farming practices and the health of our bodies.

pesticides are causing our bodies to react differently to the foods we eat. they are also causing natural foods (think broccoli) to be less nutritious for us because as the foods absorb the pesticides they chemically change the value of the food. the nutrients that we think we are getting from fruits and veggies are no longer being processed by our bodies in the same way. essentially, the vitamins that go into our bodies aren't being absorbed in the same quantities. so while we think we are getting x amount of vitamins c, k, a, folate and fiber (to name a few), our bodies absorb less. again, from what i could tell, it looked like the use of pesticides threw the entire food pyramid out of whack.

next was toxins. food dyes contain them. medicines contain them as do sodas, junk food, artificial sweeteners and meat. there are direct links between these toxins and a whole slew of cancers (kidney, stomach, bladder and brain... just to name a few). there are also a huge slew of connections between these toxins and reproductive health.

and then there is the dreaded antibiotic and growth hormones. in an effort to speed up the process from birth to slaughter- lots of cattle and poultry farmers are beefing up their animals to allow them to get bigger faster. they also don't have time to care for each animal individually, so they inject them with antibiotics to keep the livestock "healthy". rather than treating just the sick animals, they give them routinely to all their animals... you know, just in case. the problem is that growth hormones and antibiotics, while being helpful to the farmers bottom line (more milk from cows, more cows at the slaughter table and bigger animals) aren't helpful to humans. growth hormones are linked to reproductive health issues and early on-set puberty. they are also linked to a several different kinds of cancer. antibiotics are linked to antibiotic-resistant strains of bacteria. this means that when we really are sick and need to be treated with antibiotics, our bodies don't respond to the medicine.

in my research i also learned that lots of other countries have banned some of the things we deem safe in the united states. there are many countries that refuse to import american beef because of this, as the don't stand behind our farming practices. this always gets me going- as i would rather the government agencies ere on the side of caution. unfortunately, farming and government have a difficult time being separate in the usa- there is a lot to be gained by both sides by being in sync.

then there is the waste issue. as animals ingest all of these things (pesticides, toxins, growth hormones and antibiotics) they also excrete all of these things. as they do so, they contaminate the soil. future crops grown with the manure becomes less rich in nutrients... it's a vicious cycle.

and for me, that was about all i needed to know. and so we found a csa in chicago, began to scrutinize our whole paycheck purchases (to really get down to the health of it) and we became more convicted about some other decisions that we had made for our family (alternative medicine and vaccinations- both issues for another post).

over the years, we've had ups and downs with all of this. sometimes i am diligent in aligning my shopping habits with our beliefs, and at other times i am less rigid. but overall, we try to be as organic as possible. if i'm at your house for dinner, i don't think twice about eating what you serve me and don't fret or judge. life is about moderation. i figure that if i do my best to limit our intake of foods containing the above "stuff", than i figure we are that much less at risk. if i'm in a hurry and don't have time for a run to whole foods, i do my best at the local grocery store. if we are in a hurry, we eat fast food. we also dine out at restaurants.

and most importantly, i try to remember that there are a lot of variables. our health is out of my control. i can do what i think is best, but that doesn't mean that we won't get cancer, be resistant to needed antibiotics or have other health concerns.

is it a sacrifice? does it take the whole paycheck? is it difficult?

well, yes it's a sacrifice. we allocate more for food than we would if we shopped at the local chain (although it does all depend on how you shop- i've compared budgets with a friend who doesn't eat organic and has the same family size and found that we actually spend less). i don't really think of it as "whole paycheck" so much, but more of "whole health". my kids are living proof of that- with three children we have administered antibiotics twice over our years of parenting.

the difficulty question is harder for me to answer- i kind of like grocery shopping (i know that might be considered a little weird). i also kind of like taking the road less traveled, so to speak. figuring it all out- finding the csa, cheapest place to buy organic meat, on-line sources of organic goodness- kind of gets me jazzed. i'll admit, since having three kids and moving to a new community, it has had its moments. i've been fed up with the challenge at times and then at other times, i've found it to be easy.

and there you have it... our journey to organic eating. and as an added bonus, it's good for the environment, too. (wow- this post might have spurred on a whole slew of other posts! stay tuned...)

kids are punny

things said recently by e:


we were watching a snow storm on the news in lake tahoe... "look at that blister mom!"

i gave her the clothing that i desired for her to put on. after scrutiny of my selection... "i'm ashamed of jeans!" (it was clear that the word she wanted to use was "hate" but i have told her there are more articulate ways to express dislike.)

we were waiting for scott to come home one day and traffic from palo alto tends to be bad later in the week...

i said: i wonder how daddy is doing.

e said: i think your husband is lost.

upon learning that one of her new goldfish had died... "he must have gotten swine flu."

and then there's this...
i had just tucked ellie into bed and was turning the door knob to exit her room. ellie stopped me and asked me if i had locked the front door. after telling her that we keep the front door locked all the time, she asked me to double check. of course i had to ask her why (as any momma would). she then proceeded to tell me that it was because of the raccoons. apparently, if i didn't lock the door then they might come in... you know, because it's been raining a lot lately. after explaining to her that raccoons (and any other animal for that matter) couldn't turn door knobs... because they don't have thumbs, don't have fingers, are scared of people, aren't tall enough to reach... i had satisfied her litany of questions and seemed to have calmed her fears.

the next day, i discovered her standing at her bedroom door, kneeling and reaching up to the door knob making a "paw" with her hand.

me: what cha doin'?

e: seeing if raccoons can open doors. i think you are wrong.

no shame

last march i went to virginia with my sisters to pack up my mom's house. it was a grueling task as my mom wasn't really down with leaving her home and we also knew that a huge downsize was in her future. i can remember my sister taking all of the art off of the walls and then trying to sort through it with my mom- liquidating the things she didn't need and trying to carefully select the best pieces. the problem lied in the fact that, to my mom, they were all "the best pieces" and each one of them had significance to her. she didn't want to part with any. this same exchange happened with her nick-knacks, with her clothes, with her dishes... etc.




it was so strange for me to watch. i have always considered myself to be one that wasn't a "hoarder", one that didn't really cling to stuff, one that could throw out just about anything and not really give it much of a second thought.





until recently.





i am learning through blogging that i have no shame. seriously. so if you are a tidy tim or tina, hold onto your britches before looking at this photo (veronica, i'm serious. this picture could cause you heart failure!).






i'm not kidding... don't scroll down unless you really want to see some serious mess.


















this, friends, is my glorious garage.


why in the blazes are you showing us that, you might be asking and what in the heck has happened to you since moving to california... very valid questions from my peeps that know me as "the girl who labels her toy bins" (yes, i still have small miscellaneous).


i used to be mostly neat and tidy (mother and college friends, i can hear your gasp from here! it began sometime AFTER college and sometime before parenthood.). i used to have all my stuff organized. two years ago on mother's day my "gift" from my hubby (requested by moi) was time... time to go down to the basement and label and organize all our storage items. i literally spent 8 hours, on the day designated for me, putting crap (i mean, our valuable possessions) into bins and labeling them. and i LOVED it. on days when my kiddos had destroyed our playroom, i used to think "at least i have the basement".


but our current existence is a wee bit different. since we are in housing limbo and since we live in the great state of california (bountiful with sunshine and lacking in storage), our garage is a giant endless pool of "stuff". and so up until now, i have closed the door and pretended that it just didn't exist. if i needed something that was buried in that pile, i would send my less organized (but totally fabulous) hubby out into the great abyss in search of whatever.


last weekend, though, i started thinking about it. i began to wonder how we could possibly have so much stuff--- what could we possibly have in that garage that we really needed if our entire house was filled? sure, we still have stuff in storage that will eventually get unpacked when we reach our final destination (think fine china), and sure we have some bins of items that belong in storage for certain periods of time (think Christmas decorations and size 3t clothing items)... but what about the rest of it? a pile that big couldn't possibly be filled with only things that fall into the "need" category. beginning to embrace that i might have a little "hoarder" in me- i decided to open the door and get to the bottom of that mess.


in just a few hours, i had literally emptied three storage bins of things that fall into the "don't need" category. first, i listed them on a local mothers club message board "for sale" and then the things that didn't sell were placed into a box for donation to the big MOPS annual garage sale.


and i'm still going. i currently have all of my outgrown infant clothing listed for sale on ebay (and to date am making enough dough to fund e's spring and fall wardrobe).


but those were the kids bins. true to my belief about myself, i had no issue getting rid of anything we no longer need. the problem lied in what i found in my bins. as i began to go through them, suddenly the "sell" pile and the "donate" pile stopped increasing and the "keep" pile seemed to be growing.


p had fun rolling around with a rectangle that represents my first experience with knitting. my sister was into it and showed me how to do it. i then went to town practicing. i made the piece you see below and a scarf. after that, i wasn't really digging it anymore. i could check "learn to knit" off of goals but that's where the hobby ended for me. but i didn't feel like i wanted to part with my evidence. and so now stashed in my garage was the little rectangle, the scarf, and the needles... doing not a bit of good but taking up room in a bin.





and while i could justify that little stash, the problem lied in the fact that i have LOTS of little stashes like that. things that i want to "save" while really having little to no purpose. and when you add a lifetime of those things together, you get a whole lot of junk. to me, those things have value. as i peruse through them, i am reminded of my accomplishments, favorite moments, former hobbies, hobbies i wish i still had time for...

things my mom has given me from my childhood (seriously- she brought the above puppet to me a few years ago... i don't remember playing with it, or the nightmares that playing with it would certainly induce. heather, stacy, help me out here! where in carnation did that thing come from?). and yet i save them.

and of course, THAT really got me thinking. why do we save stuff? what are we trying to accomplish? do we meet our goal? or does saving stuff just turn into trouble down the line?

and while i could certainly justify keeping lots of things, i realized that by doing so i was embracing something that was so wrong- i was finding personal value in stuff. i admit it, even though i know that my value lies in Truth, my save pile told a very different story.

it showed that if i'm not careful, i find value in all the wrong places.

and so in that moment, i decided to apply the same "get rid of it" mentality that i seem to embrace so easily with other people's stuff to my own stuff.

and it was liberating.

and i don't think i could write this post without referencing mathew 6:19-21

don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or- worse! - stolen by burglars. stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth, rust and burglars.it's obvious, isn't it? the place where your treasure is, is the place you'll most want to be, and end up being.

because the truth of the matter is that my motive isn't recycling (which is good) or helping others (also good)- my motive, in that moment was in being aligned with my maker and living out the life i am called to live.

i'm human, so i'm pretty sure i'll deal with this issue again. i'm pretty sure that i will find myself collecting items that don't have value- but today i want to embrace my "treasure in heaven" rather than my "treasure on earth".

and i ask you to call me out on it if you see it happening again- because the truth is that is also what we are called to do. we should do it gently, we should do it in love, but we should do it.

my sisters and i had to have that chat with my mom back in march- and again this past weekend when she moved into her new apartment (my sisters garage has finally been renovated into a three room suite for my mother). it wasn't a conversation that i really ever wanted to have with my mom- but let me tell you, she's working on embracing it.

and because of her, i am too.

downward dog

so, apparently p is into yoga. my friend heather posted the comment, "this is the table position in yoga... right? " on the name the photo post and then p went and did this today. in fact, she's been doing it all weekend. i am terrified that she has "walking envy" and that she recognizes that she is the only one doing the army crawl around here. it makes me nervous...

name this photo

a blog that i follow occasionally posts a "name that photo" entry. people usually come up with funny titles or captions to go along with the picture that she shows. i took this picture of poppy this week...

so i thought i'd try it. go ahead. don't be shy... name this photo!

life with three

i have been asked a lot lately about how life has changed going from two babes to three babes. if you are a mom with more than three kids, go ahead and stop reading this post (you are super human and you'll only think that i'm whining). but for the rest of you, here are my current observations:

1.) getting three kids to smile for the camera has become nearly impossible. i'm serious, if you see a picture where all three of them are looking at the camera and smiling it is evidence that bribery works. i shudder to think what our next holiday photo might look like because it is a pretty sure bet that when two of them are "on" the other one isn't feeling the photo op vibe. (evidence below... poppy was literally writhing out of her sisters arms in this photo and when she eventually surrendered to their crazy momma snapping pictures, delaney went bongos. ellie was happy to pose provided a chocolate chip cookie was in her near future.)

2.) since arriving in california there has either been a.) a totally full hamper of kids clothing b.) a totally full hamper of parental laundry c.) a laundry basket of clean kids clothing d.) a laundry basket of clean parental laundry e.) an overflowing pile of dry cleaning to be taken in f.) a guest room bed piled with laundry to be folded and an additional basket of laundry to be folded sitting next to the bed or g.) all of the above

i am figuring that at this rate, the baskets will all be empty and put away in 18 years.


3.) our dishwasher is always full. sometimes it's clean, sometimes it's dirty, but it is always FULL.

4.) at almost any given moment you can find someone crying and/or whining at our house. sometimes that someone is me (just kidding).

5.) we are at all moments just a short breath away from an emergency room visit. see exhibit below. momma was attempting to fold the above mentioned laundry. e and d were sweetly playing polly pocket. p was across the room sucking on some appropriate baby rattles and such. after turning my back and folding one single shirt, p had scooted across the floor and was attempting to examine the microscopic polly pocket shoes. i though it was cute (in a "oh no, look at the newest challenge that i now face" kind of way) and grabbed the camera. while taking a quick snap, p bonked herself in the head with polly's cruise ship. awesome. she didn't need a doctor evaluation for ingestion of toxic plastic polly shoe, but she did in fact end up with a bump on the noggin from turbulence on the ocean liner.

oh, and there is one more...

6.) if e grows a single millimeter, i can kiss my girlies matching outfit possibilities goodbye.

and as i've said before, i wouldn't have it any other way. life with three is tiring. i will probably need to hibernate for a long winter's snooze when our p leaves for college and will never be able to successfully hide the circles under my eyes, but these babes are the source of joy that resides in this momma's heart. yes, three are a handful, but i can't think of a better combination to have my hands full of!

off to unload the dishwasher. catch you later. sigh.

boot scootin' boogie

just when d became old enough for me to not have a seizure upon seeing a polly pocket boot, barbie bracelet, calico critter accessory on the floor... poppy went and did this.

no title needed

the thinking cap

back in august my father-in-law came to chicago to visit. he came to help us celebrate sweet e turning 5 and to help scott unload our basement, attic and garage before the big move. it was a huge job and those two worked their tails off for the entire weekend. we took a little break on saturday morning to host a birthday party at a ballet studio for e and 15 of her friends. tom jumped right in and was very hands on the entire weekend. it is a weekend that i will savor for years to come and it is a weekend that ellie remembers fondly.

at some point my father-in-law noticed that the foot pedal on our kitchen trash can was broken. i mentioned to him that we were going to throw it out before the move, but that i have a thing about spending money on trash cans. it feels so wasteful and so we were going to use it in its broken state until the move. tom took this on as a challenge. in an effort to save me some bucks (trash cans are pricey!), he took on the task of repairing the foot pedal. and he decided to invite e in on the repair action.

the two of them sat there in our family room investigating the root of the problem. when it became clear that the break was in a plastic mechanism, tom determined that they would have to design something from scratch in order to make the repair. he sat there showing ellie the problem. it was adorable watching these two put their brains on the problem. after a few minutes, tom asked her for her ideas. sweet e, not sure of what the solution should be, told him to wait a minute while she went to get something. after a few minutes of digging in the toy bin, she reappeared with a bucket on her head. she told him it was her "thinking cap".



and so donning her thinking cap, sitting alongside her beloved grandpa, they fixed the foot pedal. using some screws and some balsa wood, they bridged the broken plastic piece and made the broken trash can operable once again.

this moment was special for her. she felt empowered by her grandfather asking for her input and she didn't want to come to the table empty handed. his confidence in her spurred on her own confidence in herself. and together, side by side, they made the repair. it was a beautiful moment to watch. grandpa brought her into a real life problem and then included her in each step of the way. she was part of the research team, she was part of the repair team, and she benefited from the solution.

watching them made me think of my own grandfather. he was the world to me. i can remember him doing exactly the same type of thing --- he'd bring me along as he repaired something in the shed for my grandmother, or he'd take me out to his workshop to see a piece of furniture he was restoring for his antique business and let me help out in some way. they are memories that have stuck with me and make me smile years later as i think of the wonderful man that he was. and it was in those moments in the workshop that that a little girl realized that she was smart, valuable, had an important voice and could be resourceful with what was in front of me.

years later, i moved to atlanta. in an effort to spare you another long winded story, i'll simply say that my roommate and i were in desperate need of certain pieces of furniture. being newly employed and fresh out of college, my change purse was... well, it was totally empty. and i remembered my grandfather. i remembered the skills he had shared with me and the confidence he had placed in my soul. and so i went to work. i made a trip to home depot and built an entertainment center, a headboard, a coffee table and some shelves. they weren't fancy, but they fit the needs of our apartment. and it was better than a tv on the floor.

as i watched e and her grandfather, i couldn't help but remember that. while they both might have believed that they were simply fixing a trashcan, i know that it was much more. and with excitement, i can't wait to see how this fleshes out in little e's life. i can't wait to see how being empowered by a man she cherishes will impact her in the years to come. maybe she'll make a coffee table one day, or maybe she'll have a greater confidence in her intellectual value, but whatever it is i am certain that she'll think back to tinkering with her grandfather and smile knowing that he was part of her process.

relationships are like that. the investment that we make today may seem little or insignificant, but i'm finding that usually somewhere down the road, those investments pay out dividends that we could never have imagined. those investments in people mold lives and transform us.

so here's to e--- may you always wear your "thinking cap".

a flaw in the advertising campaign

weebles

wobble

and then they DO

fall down

and don't let a ring

get in the way of sucking their thumb.

(is it wrong that i was hoping she'd fall for the photo shoot?)

top 9 of '09

leno has ten at ten, letterman has his top ten list, oprah has her favorite things... and now i have my top 9 of "09! these are the moments that have camped out in my mind as my favorite moments of the year. i think of them often and replay them over and over again in my mind. and so without any further introduction, here they are (in the order at which i was able to locate the photos, not in order of importance).

no.9 of '09: a visit with great grandma and great grandpa kindl

in august we made a trip to michigan to say goodbye to scott's family. the time that we spent with his grandparents was so special to me and so memorable. i love these two human beings so much! it is always such a gift to spend time with them, but this time was even more so. delaney's middle name was selected to honor his grandmother. it was so neat to let "millie" spend time with millie (she calls delaney "millie" and delaney ate it up. she thought it was so fun to have another special nick-name). we had been told that they might not be up to visiting with us, but decided to make the trip anyway. we are so glad we did. we ended up staying several hours and enjoyed every minute of our time with these two special people.


(somehow we didn't take pictures in august, but the photo above is of great-grandma and great-grandpa and aunt merritt. it was taken at merritt's rehearsal dinner party a few years ago. and for the record, we also loved our time with aunt merritt and uncle jon!)

no. 8 of '09: walking into our california rental home

when we finally sold our home in chicago i was just a few weeks away from delivery. although we knew we needed a home "on the other side" we didn't have too many options. since i could no longer travel i could a.) send my husband to california by himself and trust him to buy a home without me and hope that i didn't go into labor while he was gone or b.) rent a home. i chose b. the only problem with that was that it had to be sight unseen (or we'd be left in that laboring without the daddy situation). it is one of the biggest leaps of faith that i can remember taking, but since i didn't really have too many other options at the time, we went with it. we found a house on-line, we looked at some pictures that the landlord sent us, and we asked a lot of questions. i will forever remember that drive from our california hotel to meet the landlord and see the home that we had rented for the first time. i was terrified! the list of "what if's" was getting pretty long in my mind, but i shall say that it has been the best thing that we could have hoped for. the sigh of relief that scott and i let out as we walked through the place we would call home for the next stage of our life is still audible in my mind.

no. 7 of '09: a visit from my aunt pam and uncle gary

in december, my aunt pam and uncle gary (whom i lived with for my first few months of life while my momma was recovering from her aneurysm) came to california to visit us. my aunt pam had been trying to figure out a way to help us with the move and things just didn't work out for july/august/september, so this is what we came up with. it was the most delightful weekend! i loved spending my first few months here anticipating a visit from family and the time they spent here is time my family will cherish. we took a trip to san francisco, went to e's tennis lesson, visited some local wineries and spent quality time together. they played on the floor with my girls and made them feel so special. this special weekend means so much to me and i loved sharing one of my "mothers" with my girls. the girls fell in love with her as much as i do and they now refer to our guest room as "aunt pam and uncle gary's room".

no. 6 of '09: watching my momma walk out of the hospital and into her new home with my sister

at the end of january, after two long months of hospitalization, i was blessed with the opportunity to be present when my mom was finally released from the hospital. thanks to the sacrifice and willingness of my hubby, i was able to fly to philly and help with the transition. seeing my mom walk from the car into the house will forever be etched in my mind and the joy that i felt knowing that God had rescued her will last a lifetime.

no. 5 of '09: an end to the big belly and finally meeting the nine month resident from within

as i have blogged about at nausea, i was two weeks late with poppy. '09 will always be marked by the day that my sweet third baby girl emerged on the scene. to say that i was happy to no longer be pregnant is an understatement. to say that we were happy to meet her, does not do justice to how anxious we were to see who was residing in that great big belly of mine. she is truly a gift- one that this momma was thankful to finally "unwrap".

no. 4 of '09: a special day with my own "american girl"

right before we moved, e and i joined our good friends (jen and payton) for a lunch date at the american girl cafe. we enjoyed petite fours and finger sandwiches, tea and good conversation. it was a girlie delight! i have watched these two little gems grow up together and have come to love them like a sister and a daughter. e's love for them is the same. we miss them so much but i am thankful that e (and i) will remember this special day with our special friends for years to come.

no. 3 of '09: celebrating gigi's 90th birthday

in june, e and i boarded a plane. we met up with my dad, step-mom, sisters, brother, nieces, nephews, cousins, second cousins and gigi (the guest of honor) in niagara falls. we spent a weekend re-telling old stories, sight-seeing, making new memories and celebrating the matriarch of the browning family. she is such an amazing role model as a wife, mother, teacher, friend and woman. i am continually amazed by this woman! she is as funny, elegant, and hip today as she was in my earliest memories of her. i feel so blessed that this celebration fell at a time when i could still travel and that i was present for this very special weekend.

no. 2 of '09: a final trip to my hometown

it is a little strange that this memory makes the list as the weekend was grueling, but there are parts of it that were special beyond explanation. in march my mom, sisters, aunt, cousin and i made a trip to my childhood home to pack up my mom's belongings. we spent the weekend boxing up all of my mothers belongings and put her home up for sale. that part of the weekend was marked by a bit of sadness, but in doing so my sisters and i relived so many memories. going through the artifacts of our life was filled with rich memories of a wonderful childhood with our amazing mother. it was filled with lots of stories and lots of laughter. and then after everything was packed up, we were richly blessed by a celebration in my mom's honor at my childhood church. person after person stood up to share how my mom had enriched their lives. it was a morning that touched me deeply- to see how mom had lived her years in winchester loving God and reaching people was inspiring and brought me to my knees. the words that were shared and the love that pored out during that service was a gift that will keep on giving in my mind forever.

oh, and that hat? yep, that's the hat my mom used to wear on her daily walks. oh, if only i could hear what the neighbors said. giggle!

no. 1 of '09: an end to the snow

if you know me well, you know that i am not a fan of snow. the winter of '09 was filled with snowstorm after snowstorm after snowstorm. i can vividly remember sitting in our family room with delicious d looking out at the great white piles, watching ellie play and daddy shovel. while those memories are sweet, even sweeter is the fact that my new little plot of living doesn't include much white stuff! can i get an amen?

things that make you go yummm!

just when i think i might have run out of things to blog about, this arrived on our doorstep:





at about 8:30 this morning our doorbell rang. upon opening the front door, the girls and i discovered a big white styrofoam box. hmmm... this looks interesting. you may recall that i have a thing for receiving packages. (the girls seem to have inherited this same trait from their momma.) i digress. anyways, we were all pretty eager to see what the intriguing box contained. the box proved to NOT disappoint. if i had known what we were about to discover, i promise i would have taken pictures. the looks on their faces were priceless! they were certainly in package heaven... shock... utter disbelief... amazement... joy!

and we had so much fun with our new friends today! we took pictures, we touched them and examined their body parts (poor guys were in an ice coma). eventually i retired them to them to the garage (to await their inevitable fate... ahhh the perks of being at the top of the food chain). however, the girls did not forget they were out there. throughout the day we visited them several times. first, ellie had to show them off to our babysitter. then, she had a few friends over and wanted to show them off to her gal pals. later, delaney brought me a barbie and said she wanted to give it to the "lobers". several times, i caught delaney trying to get out there and check on them. it was a hoot! she kept saying, "momma, lobers scary!"

and for dinner, we had "lobers". and they were the most delicious lobers we have ever had! it was so much fun. even delaney enjoyed them and kept asking for more "dip" (drawn butter).

i must say, this is the BEST package we have ever received... but you're more than willing to try to top it. just let me know and i'll send you my address (wink, wink).

thanks aunt merritt, uncle jon and our new good friends at lobstergram (who knew?)... sure beats leftover ham any day!

food, glorious food!

no, we didn't give her any 5 month birthday cake, silly. it's rice cereal! i don't usually start cereal this early, but poppy has been eyeing food a lot these days. she sits up at the table and stares down anyone in sight checking out whatever they put into their mouths. i should also confess that it was part of a desperate scheme to get sweet p to take a bottle, too. she's rejected the bottle she once willingly accepted and it's making things a wee bit difficult around here. i don't want her take a bottle too often, but a date night with my hubby is all i'm going for here. that's not too much to ask, right?

at 5 months, my poppadoodle is changing rapidly. she still eats about every three hours, but has gone back to longer stretches at night. although it isn't really consistent. one night she wakes after 4 hours, another night after 6, another after 3. i guess that i can conclude she likes to keep me guessing and prefers to be unpredictable.

at 5 months, she also talks A LOT (man is her daddy in trouble with a house full of 4 girls with a gift for gab). poppy will try to get anybody or anything to talk to her. sometimes it is these sweet, soft little sounds, but most of the time she flat out yells for attention (she's gotta get a word in amongst her sisters, eh?).

she has become a big fan of toys. she likes to hold just about anything that crinkles, rattles, shakes or... you get the picture. she holds onto them and spends lots of time trying to stuff said object into her mouth.

she is still spitting up at a rapid rate. we had hoped this would stop sooner rather than later, but alas it is still going strong. mommy changes her shirt at least twice a day and spends a fair amount of time spot treating the carpet (thank God we're renting right now!).

and poppy's latest development is her efforts to crawl. she has not mastered it yet, but spends a lot of time trying to figure out how to coordinate it all. she usually gets those legs pulled up under her, but forgets to put her hands in place and ends up frustrated... and i'm not helping her with this one. i already lived through e walking at 10 months and d walking at 9... i'm not about to encourage any form of mobility. my days are active enough, thank you. (but she is pretty cute to watch as she sorts it all out.)

and i think that about sums up sweet poppy's past month. everything else is about the same. she adores her sisters, loves her daddy, and continues to bring lots of joy to our world.

once upon a time...

...there was a baby girl named delaney. she brought joy into her momma's world (and her daddy's, and her big sister's, and her baby sister's, and...)

today i'm going to share a little more about that joy filled girl:
yesterday d saw the bumbo chair on the floor and devised a plan. she climbed up onto a chair and placed the bumbo on the table and then put herself on the table into the bumbo chair- a girl with a plan. she then called out, "look it, momma! look it!" it was in that moment that i think it hit me- here is my second born celebrating her second birthday. so often i think of her as older- well, because she acts older. she wants to be older. but the truth is, d sitting in that chair isn't so far off. she is still a baby. just because we have another baby, doesn't mean that she is no longer a baby.

d had a great birthday. we opened some gifts in the morning and then went to a fun place in town (along the same vein as chuck-e-cheese) to play some games and get the wiggles out, and then had cake and ice cream. in the morning we asked her whose birthday it was. her reply... "baby Jesus!"... "no buggy, it's your birthday today!".... her eyes lit up and she was thrilled.

d is obsessed with band aids. i made the mistake of putting the first-aid bin under the sink in my bathroom, rather than above in the medicine cabinet. d noticed my mistake almost immediately and has since decided to put band aids just about everywhere. bump into something... get a band aid! need to fasten something together... get a band aid! something is broken... get a band aid! her most recent use has been for her sweet baby sister. i'm not sure what she was trying to accomplish, but p recently was adorned with a dora on the head. she didn't seem to mind and d was thrilled with her work.

so, the week before Christmas we jumped in with two feet (wearing sparkley two-inch platform flip-flops) to this potty training thing. d decided on sunday morning that she was NOT going to wear a diaper and that she would go on the big girl potty. after a couple rounds of success i broke out the potty patty* stash i had hidden in my closet and decided to embrace the inevitable. my girl, one week shy of 2 had decided she was ready. and who was i to stand in her way?

we dressed for the occasion. she donned a pair of potty patty's*, baby legs, and a tee to inspire her (nothing like an inspirational message to set the stage)!

and let me tell you, day one was a huge success! if being a great success means living in the bathroom, using gobs of toilet paper and hearing lots of "i do, i do". and just as quickly as we started, we stopped because this momma realized that the week before Christmas, the month before Scott's study schedule goes crazy, and two months before the bar exam is not the best time to potty train, thank you very much.

***potty patty is a brand of undies that help in the potty training process. they rock.

below is a clip of d on Christmas afternoon. for a few moments, she was allowed to play uninterrupted with e's coveted barbies. apparently, she had been listening intently to her sister and the dolls all day because she jumped into singing the song without missing a beat.

buggy

my baby bug is two today. as all momma's of young babes say, it is difficult to imagine where the time went and how we got to two. it has flown by. last year i told you the story of sweet d's birth, if you missed it you can check it out now. she was my easy one. for the first year of her little life, she continued to be my easy babe. she was compliant, calm and followed a relaxed schedule. we were in baby bliss.

now, as she turns two, i have a very different description of my d. compliant? not so much. her favorite things are "i do", "laney's",and "no, this way". she marches to the beat of her own drum. that girl also knows what she wants and the path she plans on taking to getting it done. she is as independent as they come, she plays hard and then sleeps hard but she also has the most sincere tender side, too. often, she'll come in for a snuggle or walk up to me out of the blue and say "love you, momma". she is generous and internally provoked to say things like, "thank you" and "you k?".

her newest trait is working the system. if she does something she knows she isn't supposed to do and you ask her a question about it... well here, let me give a few examples...

as we entertained company last night, the television suddenly came on.

example 1

scott: laney, how did the tv turn on?

laney: i don't know. (shoulders shrugged, laid back, "not me" written all over her face, remote in hand)

example 2

laney: momma, book broken (as she offers up one of our special Christmas books in one hand and slivers of pages in the other)

me: laney, how did that happen?

laney: i don't know

shy on personality? not so much! that girl is about as unique as they come. she has a way on putting her "d" stamp on everything she touches and twisting it to be her very own. and that girl can work a room. she can get a laugh whenever she wants.

she has a reputation at e's school, and at church, and at playgroup... and at... you get the point.

and we wouldn't have her any other way.

happy birthday little girl, your momma and daddy love you so much.

ho, ho, ho

before i even get into this post, i am going to throw out a few things-

first: i respect every body's right to choose what they think is best for their family. i also think that every family is different and that there isn't a one size fits all approach to parenting.

second: i think that as we raise our babies, we change. what i thought was right yesterday might not be the same as what i'll think is right tomorrow. this parenting thing is a journey and hopefully when my babies are grown i'll be older and wiser than i am today.

ok, so with all of that out of the way, i'm going to attempt to answer a question that scott and i have been asked routinely over the years. my answer isn't "right" it simply happens to be our best attempt at "right" right now.

the question: why don't you incorporate santa into your celebration of Christmas?

when e was still in my belly scott and i began the difficult task of deciding how we would parent. we opened up the discussion of a certain mr. santa claus and came to the conclusion that we didn't think we wanted him to be a part of our Christmas celebration. sure, both scott and i grew up believing in the man in the man in the red suit. we wrote our list each year, we looked for the reindeer in the sky, and we left our warm cookies and milk. it didn't scar either one of us. but after some serious thought, we both concluded that it didn't make Christmas better for us either.

here's the thing. we desire(d) for Christmas to be what it was intended for. we want it to mark the day that our Lord made a great sacrifice and took on flesh to become man. it was done in such a beautiful way- through a baby, so that earthly minds could wrap their heads around "love".

and the question is, can you do that while incorporating santa? yeah, i think you can. i firmly believe that you can have santa and Jesus and not loose the meaning of the celebration. my mom did it. santa gave us gifts, we had a birthday cake for Jesus and i definitely understood why we were celebrating. it didn't get lost on me...

then.

you see, it is later that i worry about, long after we are done believing that elves are running a toy shop on the north pole. santa and Jesus have a lot in common. they are both "unseen". they both come from a place that our human minds can't quite understand. they both require a lot of faith to believe in.

let me concoct a little scenario here. somewhere down the road all kids stop believing in santa claus. at that point, santa and Jesus are very intertwined. when you stop believing in st. nick there is an element of disappointment that enters all kids minds. it's only natural. so let's say that e reaches her point of truth: the man in the red suit is a sham. she moves on and continues to celebrate the season. somewhere down the line, years later, she's going to have to sort out her other beliefs. she's going to have to spend some time wrestling with God. and on her own, she's going to have to decide if she believes in Him.

as she does this, is there a chance that the intertwined initial experience of the "unseen" and "faith" and the mystery of what our human minds can't totally wrap themselves around become clouded? is there a chance that her disappointment in the santa dude somehow impacts her ability to grasp the truth of a saviour sent to the world as an infant? is it possible that because one is a lie, the other begins to feel suspicious too?

i don't know. each person wrestles with belief differently. but if there is a chance (even a teeny tiny chance) that the fairy tale of santa begins to cloud the truth of a risen saviour, then that's a chance that i'm not willing to take.

you see, my ultimate goal is train her in the way that she will go with the hope that she will not depart from it. i long for my baby girl (s) to seek a relationship with Father God and i don't want to get in the way of that.

santa is cool. he's fun. he makes little kids attempt to behave better during the holiday season. but what he doesn't do is point them to Christ.

and so as for me and my family, we decided to just leave him out of it all together (along with that bunny that hops along dolling out treats in baskets). my kids still love Christmas. they adore Easter. and so far, it hasn't had any form of negative impact on their lives.

and as i said, this is our answer. yours may look differently and that is wonderful. what isn't wonderful though is going through the motions without thinking it through. ans so here is my challenge... you knew this coming, right?

i challenge you and yours to be intentional about what you do. embrace whatever traditions that you think are good and don't let anyone else impose their judgment upon what you decide. and then pray. pray that God will make His birth and His death meaningful in the lives of your babies. pray that they will seek Him. pray that you will have the tools to equip them. and pray that they will embark on a life journey with Him.

and then live it out. openly show them what your relationship with the Father looks like. own your mistakes (man, i have to do this a lot) and share your encounters with the Living God.

***oh, and as an aside, a friend of mine gave me the best way to equip your non-santa believing kiddos refrain from dispelling the myth for their friends... we tell them who st. nick was, and then tell them that if they want to "pretend to believe" they can. the funny thing is, they love being in the know. sure, they wanted to sit on the dude's lap at playgroup and at a holiday party we attended, but they loved whispering to scott and i that they knew he wasn't real. it actually made e feel special to "in the know" about the guy that she doesn't really understand anyway. (she's spent a lot of time trying to picture reindeer flying. smile.) it also all happens to be true- which is important to me in my relationship with my girls.

do you like it?

"i like it, momma! i like it! buggy lick the beaters?"

the bees knees

i mean seriously, have you ever seen a more adorable dimpled knee?

and check out those kankles!