God sounds like...

a while ago our church did a series titled, "God sounds like".  they went through different genres of music and paralleled the composition style of the music to characteristics of God (i'm having a hard time describing it so i'm going to go ahead and stick with that description). 

i kept waiting for the hip-hop / pop music week.  it didn't happen.  don't get me wrong.  the series was way good, but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't a wee bit disappointed. 

it got me thinking...  and listening to the radio with a bit of intentionality.  if God were to be captured by a hip-hop / pop song, which song would it be?  at first look, i realized that my kids shouldn't be listening to the radio without some serious adult supervision.  there's a ton of songs that have catchy choruses and toe tapping beats that are downright raunchy when you fully listen to the lyrics. 

but i didn't want to give up in my quest. 

here's what i've come up with...  God sounds a lot like bruno mars (grenade).  go ahead, take a listen.  i'll be right here when you return.

 

anyone got my back on this one?  isn't it fair to say that Jesus is a lot like the dude that bruno sings about?  bruno's dude is catching grenades and jumping in front of trains and all he's asking in return is that this girl give him all of her love.  not too much to ask, right?  that's what my man Jesus wants from us too.  He died (on a cross not by a bullet in the brain but on a very real cross... and either way you arrive at the same ending) for us and asks us to love him in return.  He asks us to die for Him, too.  not a physical death but a death from self in exchange for a lifetime in heaven.  not such a bad trade if you think about it. 

the first lines of the song are...

easy come, easy go that's just how you live.  oh, take take take it all but you never give.

i've been thinking of that line a great deal over the past few months.  grace based faith is important for many reasons but it can't just end there.  we can't just take what God has given to us and leave it at that.  we are called to action. 

what does that look like?  sometimes i get caught up in the grander things that God calls some of us to do.  but i think our calling, in its simplest form, produces things like

spending time with Him

in prayer

in His word

in worship (even through a bruno mars song)

it can be a patience with the irritatingly slow lady at the gas station

a kind smile to the momma who's babes are having a meltdown in the grocery checkout

being present in the life of someone going through the challenges life has thrown at them...

the opportunities are endless.

and i must admit, i often miss the mark and don't answer the call of the Holy Spirit to step out of myself and be the girl that gives. 

and so for me, sometimes God sounds like grenade by bruno mars.

but the good news is that the lyrics in my song change.   so can yours.  we all get to choose today to follow a different path.  we get to choose Him and to love Him and to live in a way where we don't just take His grace but answer the call that we hear deep within our hearts.  we get to give back in response to this unbelievable sacrifice made on our behalf.

the end. 

p at age 2

my p is following in the footsteps of her big sister d.  she is full of adventure.  short on fear.  constantly seeking giggles.  searching for thrills.  she makes the other moms at the park gasp.  she usually has dirty toes.  her hair is perpetually in her eyes.  and she brings much joy (and exhaustion) to my days.





my dad's really old

in july i had the privilege of celebrating my dad's 70th birthday- he didn't actually turn 70 until september but he's difficult like that.  you have to surprise the guy way ahead of time to get one past him. i made the trip to ny under the mask of attending an old friends wedding in the town where i grew up- not sure how he bought it as i haven't been back there in a bazillion years, but he did.  i spent the day before the party hanging out with the family and some close friends of my dad.  on saturday morning he went off for a golf extravaganza not having a clue what was to come.  when he arrived home from golf, he was greeted in the street by all of his family and tons of his life-long friends.  it was beautiful.  i loved looking around and seeing all of these people that he has done life with.  by now, you know that i value relationships a great deal.  friendships mean a lot to me.  i owe this value to my dear old dad.  attending the party were friends he has had from every part of his life.  there were peeps from his childhood, golf buddies, pals from before he had kids, pals from his years in marcellus and pals from his current hood that have become family.  and each person in attendance celebrated the man that he is- a man of relationships, a man of humor, a man of adventure. 

with siblings strung across the united states, it is a rare day for all of us to be together.  i cherish the brief time that we all had to be together.  it was lovely to hang out with them and share conversations, stories and old family videos. 





i have some pretty amazing siblings.  my brother lives in austin and is going to school and working for a really cool company.  stacy is a homeschooling momma with 5 kiddos in her "school"- that makes me tired to even think about, a leader of her women's ministry at her church, and the caretaker for my momma.  heather is a proud momma of 3, a fashionista, cabi consultant and closet auditor.  and my littlest sister, amanda is steps away from getting her masters and about to start pa school.  it makes me proud to think about all of them.  each one is beautiful and accomplished in such unique ways.



i went to sleep on saturday night on an aerobed on the floor of our guest room.  billy was at the foot of my mattress on the floor and heather and amanda were sharing the queen bed.  stacy and her fam were just down the hall in one direction and my dad and smom were just down the hall in the other direction. 

the weirdest thing overcame me as i tried to sleep.  i was giddy.  i can't really remember the last time that we were all under the same roof of my father's home, tucked into our beds together.  most families experience this their entire life, but for me this is an unusual occurrence.  i didn't want to close my eyes and drift off into dreamland because i just wanted to savor the moment. 

while this was very much a wonderful way to celebrate my daddy, it was just as memorable for me.  i will replay scenes from this weekend for years to come and will not soon forget the incredible feeling of togetherness. 

i am grateful.  thanks, dad, for a reason to assemble.  you are one of kind and i love you so very much.

a bunny and a grandma

i would like to go on record saying that my grandmother is the most amazing woman i have ever known.  i know a lot of pretty cool women, but she takes the cake and always has.  i had the privilege of hosting her and my father for a visit (i promise to write more about the rest of the trip soon), but today i want to highlight this particular part.  mostly, because my dad asked me to post these pics and i thought they were lost forever in my cell phone that fell apart in my hands on friday.  lucky for me, i had them stored in my camera and not my phone. 

gigi, as she is called by my girls, thought it was a hoot that we had a leash for our pet rabbits.  in fact, i think she thought it was a hoot that we had pet rabbits in the first place.  she wanted to be sure we captured her "walking the bunny" so she could show her gal pals and daughters. 

so here you have it:  gigi walking the bunny.  named lucy.  who we thought was a girl.  but have reason to suspect might be a boy.  oy!  (i'll keep you posted on that one.)

 and may i just highlight that gigi is going to be 92 in november.  have you ever seen such a sassy dresser?  i mean really, she has on boot cut jeans and is ever so stylish!  i just wanted to point that out because...  well, my gigi is pretty amazing.  but she's not just amazing for her outward stuff...  she shared with me some pretty cool tips on life.

one of the things that i will hold onto is her attitude about life.  our conversation began with me asking her what she believed was the greatest invention in her lifetime.  i wanted to know what changed her life the most and impacted her directly.  she answered it with, "well, the airplane was pretty amazing but it didn't change my life right away.  flying was so expensive and as a girl, i didn't fly until much later in life.  i think it was the television or the radio.  it was a family activity and maybe even a neighborhood activity.  you didn't watch or listen alone.  you would invite friends over and share a program together and it also helped you to be connected with what was going on in the world."  cool perspective. 

and then i asked her if it was difficult to see all the changes that she has seen in her lifetime.  i asked her if she felt like our world now was a scarier place now than at other times in her life.

her answer was pretty amazing.  she said, "tasha, the world has changed.  it gets bad and then it gets better.  it has highs and it has lows.  at one point you think this is the very worst and how could it possibly get better from here.  and then it gets better.  it's like a pendulum going back and forth between good times and bad.  i always find that it is best to just look forward.  there isn't any benefit to looking back.  sure, it's hard to adapt but life goes forward and if you refuse to move forward with it, it will leave you behind." 

i love that.  i think that as human beings we have a tendency to pine for the past.  we put on our rose colored glasses and trick ourselves into thinking that what we once had was better than what we have now.  i remember as a new mom i had days where i wondered why in the world we would have rocked our "no kids" boat.  we were foot loose and fancy free- not tied to naps or covered in spit up.  and yet, we didn't have our precious e.  sure, being a new mom is hard, but it is in fact better.  sometimes you have to climb out of the dirty nappies to see that (so to speak), but it's true. 

when we moved to california i thought similar thoughts.  i longed for chicago and my home in la grange.  i had moments where sadness took over and i tricked myself into thinking that if i could just go back i would be in glory land.  not true.  glory land is the here and now.  glory land is grabbing a snuggle with p or catching the twinkle in the eyes of d.  it is a quick kiss from my husband or reading with my dear e.  glory land is dinner with my p-town girls or glimpse up at this beautiful california sky.  it isn't absent of pain or frustration.  it isn't perfection but it is what is happening now.  it's showing up.  it's being attentive for the person that needs a smile or a hug.  it's being willing to listen.  it's sharing a meal or a coffee.  it's meeting at the park.  and instead of just "passing the time"  it is engaging with those that you are surrounded by.

i am so grateful for my grandmother.  i cherish her wisdom and am beyond thankful for each and every moment i get to spend with her.  she is wise...  beyond her years. 

(all things in quotes are paraphrases as i remember them.)

10k part 2011

this morning i ran in my 2nd annual 10k for breast cancer.  last year, thanks to so much generosity from so many of you, i ran to raise money for my sister.  it was motivating.  with each step, with each mile, i knew that i was taking hard earned money from your wallets in an effort to alleviate some burden on my sister's cancer induced financial strain.  i felt this responsibility to run, to do my best, to "earn" that money for her, so to speak.  it also felt overwhelming and minimal and "not enough".  my sister was in the middle of a fight for her life and i was sweating a little bit, enjoying some time with a friend, and taking in some amazing views found in freemont, ca. 

my siter has spent the better part of the last year "fighting".  she has endured months of chemo, daily radiation, a handful of surgeries, and a very regular schedule of being poked and prodded by a team of doctors.  sounds fun, right?  yeah, i don't think so either.  she's done it with a smile, with a sense of strength, and with a faith in God like i can't describe.  i am not surprised- it's who she's always been.  but it has been inspiring to watch. 

her cancer diagnosis has shaken me a little.  i've asked God a lot of questions about the how's and why's of all of this.  and with His help, i've come to formulate some opinions on the matter.  i'll come back to this in a minute.

today i ran with a dear friend of mine, dawn.  she lost her momma to cancer a few years ago.  i don't think it is a coincidence that our first "real" conversation was about her mom, cancer and their journey.  it happened a few months prior to stacy's diagnosis and i've thought about it so many times since.  i had no idea what was in store for my beloved sister.  and yet, right before i would need it, God placed an amazing woman in my life that would know the journey well.  i also ran with dawn's cousin today, and while i don't know her personally, i do know of how she supported dawn's family by being present at the funeral of dawn's mom.

i ran the first half of the race with these two beautiful women.  we chatted, we sweat, and passed the time.  it was nice.

about half way through the race the 10k runners sort of collided with the 5k walkers.  it was right at the moment where my body was starting to feel the heat and my legs were getting sore...  not so much fun to be dodging through masses of people as you tried to keep up your endurance.  anyhow, in an effort to maintain my sanity, i became separated from dawn and erica.  immediately, i missed the conversation.  but as i let my mind wander.  i began to think about dawn and my sister and a friend in pleasanton who recently began chemo. i also had a few epiphanies.  i never met dawn's mom.  from what i have heard, i really wish i could.  as i though about dawn running for her momma i started to get a little choked up and then i realized something.  in many ways, i've met her.  through the sparkle in dawn's eyes, through her calm voice and her intentional parenting.  i bet i've met her mom through her sense of style and her chic taste in home decor. the list could go on.  i could be wrong and i know it is not even close to meeting dawn's actual momma, but it brought me some comfort.  i also thought about how proud her momma would feel with her daughter and the woman she has become.

i also began to see how for as much as cancer sucks, it also has a few positive outcomes.  in some instances, it can be unifying.  for dawn and i, it was the focus of our first real conversation.  and over the past months, it has motivated us to run regularly.  through that running, we've been blessed with the opportunity to really get to know each other.  dawn and i would have been friends regardless, but i find it interesting that cancer unites us in a different way.  we have another mutual friend who i find this to be true about- and while i would never in a million years wish cancer on anyone and while i can only imagine how much they long for their mommas, i am thankful that we are united by it.  i feel blessed that these two women have been "in my circle" over the past two years and known the path that my sister was walking.  it lightened the load in some ways for me.

now let's get back to what i was saying before.  i've been asking God a lot of questions over this past year and digging into His word to find some of the answers.  one of the conclusions that i have come to is that God does not CAUSE bad things to happen to us.  but He participate in them happening to us.  as i've watched stacy on her journey, i see how her morning time with Him has maintained her strength and kept her focused on the purpose of the journey.  i've seen how God has created a community to lift her up- people have sent her cards on a regular basis, ministered to her family by bringing them dinners, friends have taken turns watching her children on the days when she needed rest, people have sent gifts, left messages on facebook, offered hugs...  it goes on and on and on.  and it inspires me about the good that can be found in the heart of people.  God longs for us to be a community such as this.  He longs for us to walk through the mess of life together and to point one another in the direction of Him.

in hebrews chapter 10 vs. 24-25 it says:
so let's do it - full of belief, confident and presentable inside and out.  let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going.  He always keeps His word.  let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big day approaching.

in romans chapter 12 vs. 9-10 it says this:
love from the center of who you are; don't fake it.  run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good.  be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

i love that!  was i just invited to be inventive in encouraging and helping others?  looks like it.  did the bible just tell me to be a good friend who loves deeply?  yep.  was i just encouraged to play second fiddle?  uh-huh.

it's not always easy to do.  putting others before us and fading a little bit into the background sometimes feels counter-culture.  it's hard and it isn't our nature.  but it's what we are really called to do. 

i haven't found an answer for why their is cancer in this very broken and sinful world (although that could be the simplest form of an answer), but i can say with certainty that cancer has this ability to bring light and joy and community into our lives.  it can point us in the direction of heaven.  it can diminish our "me focus" and help us focus on the pain and suffering of those in our world. 

i hate cancer.  but i have found that i love some of the things that it brings to the surface.

so here's to running.  here's to my sister.  here's to dawn and shanon and friendship and sharing life with those we are blessed to be surrounded by.  here's to a God that didn't miss a topic in His teaching and His plan for us to do this thing together.

a peak into the thoughts of e

things for thanks

fruit saturday storys bagels

Quinn Me Lemon heads

meatballs kittens poppy cats uniqorns

dogs mom mirikles

dad God puppys kaylie

happy endings picnics

p
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i
n
s
e
s
s
e
s

i found the above on a piece of paper in e's nightstand. she is notorious for making lists of things... lists of friends, favorite books, things she wants to buy with the money she doesn't have (giggle) and other things of that nature. i found this one today. it made me smile. i thought i'd share. it was written with the spelling and capitalization that you see and done with a red colored pencil. i love it. i love her. enjoy.

not a garge sale part deux

you may recall that last year we cleaned out our garage. it was a comical event that we refer to as "not a garage sale". well, that was all good and fine until we had to up and move AGAIN. as you can imagine, moving with three kiddos (one who is in the pull everything out of every drawer, bin, closet etc. stage) is a little chaotic. as a result, our garage has been a wee bit of a disaster. and so, yet again, we hauled it all onto the front lawn and got down to the business of putting things into place.

e was delighted when a few people drove up to see if we were having a garage sale. while we didn't have a steady flow of traffic like last year (and didn't need to make a sign), e loved telling people that we were just cleaning the garage.

we discovered that it is inevitable. very soon, we are in fact going to be having a garage sale. with three growing babes we have a lot of stuff to unload. but in spite of the tight quarters, i was able to pull my big 'ole gas guzzler into the garage and close the door. it was a good feeling.

i would also like to report there was some suspicious activities going on while this momma and daddy-o were cleaning. i went to investigate. e was standing over a closed box with a roll of tape in hand. poppy was watching intently from the sidelines with a very perplexed look on her face. once the box was taped shut, e went on her merry way.

suddenly the box began moving a little bit and the tape was starting to loosen. look closely.

any guesses on what was inside? i'm pretty sure you can do the math.

a family of 5 becomes a family of...

it has been a busy week around here. we went from a family of 5 to a family of 7. that's right... we finally caved and bought the girls a pet. well, two pets, because their momma is a little bit of a sucker. i spent the better part of last week tracking down breeders and visiting pet shops. i must say, i rather enjoyed it.

without further ado, here is stardust (e's baby mini-lop):

and d's bunny named lucy (named after my mom's mom... when i told my mother i believe she was slightly offended that we named a bunny after her mother. d thought it was a grand name as it was the second runner up to be her own moniker):

since i sort of had to twist my husband's arm to agree to the new family members, i thought it would be best if i kept expenses down. i posted a want add on freecycle and was able to get everything i needed for free except the bunnies, water bottle and food bin. pause for a moment on that... the hutch you see is a pretty penny at various sites on the web. the toys, the timothy hay, a few bags of pellets... all free! i was over the moon. which might explain why we came home with two bunnies instead of one... you just can't have a hutch that big with just one girl. it beckoned for a sister.

on the way to pick up our bunnies e said, "my life is going to be amazing. today it is going to change forever." she was beaming from ear to ear.

d loves her bunny, too. lucy is a sweet girl who is very tolerant of her pint sized momma.

and the biggest fan of all... well that's p, of course. the bunnies might not like her as much as she likes them though. it's a work in progress.

and just to keep things over the top insane... we bought a leash and have been walking the girls around the back yard.

it sure is a rodeo over here.... but a very fun one, that's for sure. if you see me on the street with a bunny attached to my leash, promise not to laugh. it's for the girls.

happy birthday to you!

when i get behind on blogging, i always run into this mental dilemma... do i back track and post about the things that have happened over the weeks or months where i was negligent or do i pick up right where i am and go from there with a clean slate?

since the purpose of my writing is for my children in future years, i thought that today called for a back track.

you see, in february, we had a very special visit from some very special people: my girlies auntie merritt and uncle jon! scott's sister and brother-in-law made the journey from michigan to visit us for about a week. and with them, they brought the most special gift of all... cousin stella. it was such a treat to meet this precious little muffin.

we had a delightful week together. i have such fond memories of special times with my cousins and auties as a child, that these days mean ever so much to me. even though we live so far away, i just know that they are going to be near and dear to one another. i imagine sweet stella coming to visit in her teenage years or sweet e tagging along on a vacation with auntie merritt as resident babysitter. it will unfold and i know that it will be beautiful.

we took a trip into the city and rode a boat under the golden gate bridge, hung on pier 39 and some of us rode a cable car. we took in china town and i'm sure a few other things that i am probably forgetting.

auntie merritt also did a nail salon party for the girls and we had family game night (with jiffy pop).

sweet stella took in her first ride on the swings. it was fun to part of this milestone. she was somewhat indifferent, but it was sweet to see.

and then to keep things fun, we made them pose for a masked girlie photo. poppy was a little less than cooperative as she wanted to play peek-a-boo, but stella obliged her auntie and sat like a good girl (might have something to do with her lack of mobility at 7 months of age).

and now... when i finally have gotten around to posting these, sweet stella is celebrating her first birthday. happy birthday, pretty girlie. your auntie, uncle and cousins love you very much!

earth day musings

it is a week past earth day... but i haven't forgotten it. i'll start with a little update on our earth friendly (or unfriendly) habits:

i continue to struggle with my remembering of those dang reusable bags. it's not that i don't have enough! i have a bag filled with bags. i remember them some of time, but not all of the time. it drives me bongos. once upon a time i forced my forgetful self to carry whatever it was that i was buying when i forgot. these days, i take the bags and growl at myself a bit. i tried an incentive for the kiddos- a quarter for every time they reminded me to put them in the car. apparently, quarters are the new penny because they don't seem to be doing the trick either. i'm going to continue to work on this.

cutting down on our use of plastic and paper products has been a success. thanks to my own momma, i now possess more kitchen wash cloths than a girl knows what to do with. i have been using them for hand-wiping instead of the dreaded paper towel. since i have so many, i don't have to worry about running out before i can get a fresh load of laundry in the machine. thanks to my reusable lunch bags, we cut down on a bunch of those being waisted and added to land fills daily. i still keep some in my pantry and use them on occasion, but it's a step in the right direction.

we have issues with those earth friendly light bulbs... i just don't dig the color of light that they produce and am not a fan of the recycling process that they entail. i know everyone is behind them, but they just don't make sense to me. convince me- i want to like them.

i've also spent the better part of the last year freecyling things (http://www.freecyle.org/). i have given away every box that we used to move (twice), baby items that we no longer have use for and that wouldn't sell for more than 20 buckaroos, bed frames, cribs, extra luggage, books... the list is endless. if you don't freecyle, i encourage you to do so. you post the item (no picture) and then wait for peeps who want it. within minutes of posting i usually have a taker. we email to arrange pick-up and then i leave it on my porch with their name on the item. i have also been the recipient of some items- curtain rods, a brass bed frame (for real- it's gorge and in the garage waiting for the next crib jumper), books... that might be it. the items i've taken from others are things i wouldn't buy but have been happy to receive. it keeps a lot of stuff from going to waste.

my newest love is a website called http://www.thredup.com/ in a nutshell, you post boxes of baby gear- typically clothing and sell a $10.95 box (usps flat rate box) for $5. for $15 bucks a person can buy a box full of items. they are typically grouped based on size... for example, "mostly t's 4t". you pay the $15 bucks and you get a box full of sized 4t t-shirts. the "seller" posts a brief description of what the box contains (no pictures needed) and you buy base on your needs. this is genius for my family. d and p have closets full of hand-me-downs from big sister. the trouble is that for some reason, i keep finding that each bin of used goodies is lacking in one area. at age 3 , e had a tendency to spill on her shirts, rendering a lot of tops useless. at age 4, she was into elastic waist pants... d's into dresses. you get the point. this site is a good "fill in the gaps" sort of place. and you can post too. if you are not down with a random box- no worries. just get rid of your own stuff here. instead of giving it away, you get five smackers for each box you sell.

lastly- and this isn't a new thing, i'm in love with the re purposing of objects. i have an old secretary that was one man's junk- this man's treasure. i have a few dressers that we might have smuggled from our previous seller and painted to make them beautiful (the yellow dresser in my guest room is one of these objects). i love messing with the old and making it new.

as i was contemplating my earth day post, my friend dawn sent me a link to this zero waste shop in berkley (of course it's in berkley- ha). she suggested we go together but the trash to treasure girl in me couldn't wait- i hopped in the car the very first chance i had (not so eco friendly)... and i'll go back as soon as she and i can coordinate a time that works.

and so here you have urban ore:

my gps took me to this big 'ole warehouse. it's huge.


they utilize every piece of real estate they have... the outside was filled with...

toilets. yep! you need one? they've got it. seats, bowls, the toppers for the back... every kind! they also had windows a plenty- new, vintage, frames... hundreds of each. i was in shock. you proceed to the interior of this big grey building and you'll find rows upon rows of doors- interior, exterior, modern, victorian... you get the point.

and then you sort of meander through and find a plethora of "trash"... waiting to become one man's treasure.

d was a fan of this pink version of the golden gate bridge.

i stumbled upon this little treasure- a record that made me think of my dad. immediately i pictured him dancing in my kitchen on a saturday morning while i step-mom cooked breakfast. i love those visual stimulants for memory lane. good times.

p was enthralled by some pink doggies hanging high in the vaults. there was a lot of woof woofing and giggling.

back to when we entered the warehouse- d mentioned that it was pretty stinky. yep! the entire place smells like cat urine. it was less than shocking when we stumbled upon this little creature a few rows in. (ick! the smell not the cat herself. she was rather pleasant.)

d tried out for head majorette while i told her stories of her nana who was on the team in high school. it was good times to see.

and throughout the joint there were reminders of why you were there (putting up with the stinky).

we went home with two chairs for the dining room that we have been working on. i will be removing the nasty cushions and reupholstering them before they make a move out of the garage, thank you very much... but a good find none-the-less.

and if you don't live in the east bay? well have no fear! you can help the good 'ole mother earth in a similar fashion in a town near you. my experience is that the kane county flea market is a similar treasure trove. i've also googled flea markets all over the country. there are a ton of them!

and so- to wrap it all up, here's my point... if you can go to a little extra effort to find the stuff you need from a person that no longer needs it... jackpot! if you have stuff you no longer need, find someone who can make use of it! the wee bit of extra effort is way worth it and the character that your home (or the takers home) can gain is awesome. do it. do not delay.

our mother will thank you!

making a comeback

if you've been a blog follower of mine for a while, you may remember this post from the early years. go ahead and check it out. i'll be right here when you get back...

now that you are up to speed...

i would like to report that i baby beth is alive and well. she's been hanging out at the bottom of the baby basket for the past few months.

today, d and p were out front playing while momma was painting some furniture. d asked me if she could go inside to get some babies to push around in her stroller.

sure, muffin. mamma's down with that. oh- and could you grab one for p because she's going to want one if you have one.

a few moments later d emerged with her own favorite baby doll and... wait for it... baby beth, for p. and while i was slightly injured that it wasn't d's first pick, i was excited that she was making an appearance.

p pushed baby beth around for the better part of an hour. i was stoked. after our playtime, i ushered the girls inside for nap. as we headed for the stairs i reminded the girls that the dolls needed to be put away. both girls obediently trucked up the stairs with babies under their arms (p under my arm). when we arrived in p's room, she went about her normal routine of running away to avoid the inevitable pre-nap diaper change. she stood next to her bed and proceeded to toss her blanket, giraffe, and be-po over the crib rails in preparation for bed. as i was about to reach for her and engage in the diaper changing tackle... my little muffin grabbed for baby beth. yep- then she tried to hurl the big 'ol beloved baby over the side of the bed. momma was happy to help with this task. and so today, my sweet p slept with her normal collection and her momma's favorite dolly. (geesh- it's getting crowded in there!)

when i went in to get her from nap, she was laying her head on beth's belly. snuggling, if you will.

and then at bedtime... well, here. you can see for yourself.

baby beth is making a come back! that's right- she has no place in the "must toss" pile that e may have chosen for her a few years back.

watch out- the koosah's next.

a game

a little game: it's called, "Do you know the name of the baby in this picture?".

if you'd like to play along, leave a comment and share with with us. you can even include a caption if you'd like.

two down...

i would like to start out by saying that i used to follow a blog of a really sweet girl. eventually she began to do this segment where she did some mr. linky thing and people basically all linked in and shared their stuff... sometimes it was rooms of their home, sometimes birthday parties, favorite stores... what have you. soon after she began doing this i stopped reading her blog.

from what i can tell, she is a wonderful woman but there was some ick factor for me as i logged in and saw all of these people showing off their "stuff". while her content the rest of the time was pretty basic and palatable the "show us your blah blah blah" was bothersome to me. i imagine her heart was actually fine but none-the-less it gave me the creeps.

what can i say? i'm not much of a fan for the "keeping up with the joneses" mentality and when i logged in all i could think of were all the people who might have felt embarrassed by their party, living room or favorite store. in fact, i imagine that reading it could also be a jumping off stimulator for spending money that they didn't have. imagine it- a momma sitting at home feeling like her living room is junky. she's killing a little time before lunch and checking out her favorite stops on the web. she lands on the show us your living room blog page and looses some time checking out all the linkys to these beautiful living rooms. she puts the kiddos down for nap and it sort of eats at her while the babies rest. sure enough- as soon as the babes wake from their nap momma is off to the store. maybe it's tar-jay, maybe pottery barn... it really doesn't matter. soon, she could be consumed by the spirit of less-than and discontent. and as quick as that happens, a momma might be inclined to start spending money that she doesn't have and making choices that she knows are not in the family budget in an effort to keep up and an effort to fill some sort of void she feels.

if we're honest- i think most of us would admit that this has happened to us at one point or another. a friend shows up with new shoes on and you start thinking about how you NEED a new pair. a neighbor takes a trip to the place you've always longed to go... this can go on and on. we feel bad. we throw personal "woe is me" parties. we put the wheels in motion to do things that we know we shouldn't really be doing.

i know it has happened to me. i fought that demon years ago. i had a friend who was really talented and also had a lot of money and also had similar home decorating taste to mine. every time i went near said friend, i walked away feeling like my house was all poo-p00-patchoo and that i had to "fix" it. i never was able to and i never felt fulfilled after trying.

it wasn't until years later that i realized my taste was different from hers. i also realized that it wasn't her sense of decor i was after. it was an effort to fill a void. now, when i find myself trying to fill that void with "stuff" i tend to break it down and be a little bit more honest with myself. i call it what it is- the satisfaction of the flesh and remind myself that it never works. i also remind myself that honoring my hubs hard earned buckaroos is a much more important value to chase instead of chasing the title of master decorator (which i am not). (and with three kiddos under my belt i have also learned that cool stuff doesn't look all that cool for long- it is a never ending quest of perfection that i will never win. ha! kiddos 1: momma 0).

i say all of that because i am about to show you my stuff. ick.

seriously- if seeing an episode on hgtv makes you grab your keys and run to home depot, please stop reading this post.

if decorating tips and discussions on room design make you feel like you need to go overturn a room in your own home- do not read further.

i say that- not because anything i have is special or worth coveting, but because i've been there. somehow, the ugliest room (quite possibly the one i am about to reveal) can somehow still have the same effect on us as the most beautiful one. that effect is that icky spirit of discontent. yuck.

so then why are you going to show us your stuff, girlfriend? (you may be asking...)

because many of you have asked. because i live very far from my fam and lots of friends who want to see. because as i finish a space i get tickled pink that i get to check off a room from my to-do list. maybe none of those are good reasons and if they aren't- i encourage you to let me know. i am thick skinned and can handle it (smile). i also welcome feedback.

so without further ado- here is my family room in its almost finished glory (it still lacks baseboards but those will come in due time).

here is the room before we moved in:


here it is mid-process:

and here it is in it's current state. done.

nothing fancy- just done. it still needs some special touches on a wall or two, but for the most part it is the culmination of lots of hard work from a husband-wife painting team and is evidence that i've at least unpacked. also- if you've known me for a while you can look around these snaps and see that it is all the stuff i've always had. nothing new. i like that i was able to do that. while i enjoy perusing the newest catalogues and home design books, i am also trying to be diligent in my appreciation for what i have. i've been blessed- sure with stuff, but more importantly with some great peeps to fill up that finished room. more important to me are the kiddos, friends, family that will adorn that couch. the conversations that i may have with a girlfriend while sipping some joe have a far greater value than just about anything else.

and there you have it. care to join me on my sofa for a nice chat? i'd love to see you soon.

time to cook the doughnuts

i haven't been blogging much since "the move". i wish i could say exactly what it was- busy with house projects, 3 girls going in 3 directions, a very distracted momma, a husband that has been working lots of hours... all of those? some of those? other things? i don't really know. but what i do know is that it isn't due to a lack of material. we've had A LOT going on these past few months!

one of those events is near and dear to my heart. a few weeks ago we had the pleasure of craig's company. craig is a college friend of my hubs, but over the years i think it is fair to say that he is my friend too. i adore him. i always have- but in recent years i have added a new reason to my list. it has to do with the kiddos. he visited me on my second day home from the hospital with e. shortly after, he moved. since his move to the big apple, he's been intentional in visiting us each year. that is a power move to this momma. you see, not only does he value his relationship with my hubs but he also places a value on my children.

he visits. he engages. he notices. he connects. he loves (that's right zimm, this momma noticed that too). what that means to this momma is beyond verbal expression. it is a heart matter, more specifically- a melt the heart matter. i adore watching it.

this visit was no different. zimm (as many people refer to him) knew from his last visit that we are the proud owners of a deep fryer. knowing this, he came armed with an old camp doughnut recipe. upon arrival he went over the ingredients list and planned out the things we might need (apparently my expired baking soda and powder weren't going to fit the bill). he got the missing items and planned out a time when the doughnut making extravaganza could commence. that's right- zimm made doughnuts with my three girlies.

now i don't know if you've ever made doughnuts before, but i am here to tell you that it is a pretty labor intensive project.

it starts with the mixing of ingredients.

they were all ears- but this is early in the game. i wasn't surprised that he had their undivided attention for that part.

after some serious mixing, sifting, combining etc. they moved on to the rolling out stage. i was uber impressed with his patience. my girlies might be a tad tentative about getting their hands dirty but somehow he had them all ooey and gooey and doughnut rolling. impressive!

e opted out of the doughnut business after her first roll and cut round. for her, that is impressive. with me she doesn't typically make it past the mixing of the wet with the dry ingredients. d lasted for two rounds. i wasn't super shocked by this as she has a bigger love cooking and higher tolerance for messy hands. not bad.

the one that was shocking was miss p. p was down for a nap when the doughnut extravaganza began but woke up somewhere in the middle of the party. she jumped right in (and zimm didn't miss a beat) and seemed to be in it for the long haul. she made it by his side right down to the final roll and cut.

as the rounds of dough were cut out, fry daddy (aka scott) took them to task in the deep fryer (it is his machine, after all). one by one they were cooked to a golden brown.

upon exiting the hot oil, they were set to cool. i was then put into motion tossing them in sugar and preparing them for their final stage...

you know- down the hatch!

it was quite an afternoon! our bellies were happily filled. and as i look back on these snaps- my heart overflows at a friend who is such a treasure.